This blog is about men who dream about having a female body, and women who dream about having a man's. Yes, it is a strange topic, but there you go, this is a strange world. This blog is for those who are trying to get to terms with such desires and others that might find the topic interesting.Here are some essential blog posts to get you going:
The autogynephilia theory
The term autogynephilia was introduced by the psychologist Ray Blanchard. He defined it as "a man's paraphilic tendency to be sexually aroused by the thought or image of himself as a female". The term is useful, but his explanation is problematic. The following posts discuss the term in a critical way:
Autogynephilia on a Napkin (A popular illustrated presentation of the topic)
Autogynephilia defined (A presentation of Anne Lawrence and her use of the term autogynephilia)
Autogynephilia: The Dark Side (On why the autogynephilia theory meets so much resistance in transgender circles)
Beyond the Perversion (More in depth discussion of the Blanchard theory)
Beyond the Binary (On autogynephilia and evolutionary science)
Dr. Charles Moser's critique of the autogynephilia concept
Dr. Charles Moser's critique of the autogynephilia concept
On female to male crossdreamers (autoandrophiliacs)
Autoandrophilia, on women who fantasize about having a man's body. (Some doubt that they even exist, but I know that there are quite a few women out there that dream about taking the aggressive role of a man).
The transgender Kama Sutra (Is crossdreaming a product of modern Western civilization or is it ubiquitous? The presence of female to male crossdreamers in the Kama Sutra tells us that there are crossdreamers everywhere and everywhen).
The Yaoi Culture and the female to male crossdreamers (The female to male crossdreamers or "girlfags" are hiding in plain sight, expressing their transgender lives through Japanes style comics and stories.)
The transgender Kama Sutra (Is crossdreaming a product of modern Western civilization or is it ubiquitous? The presence of female to male crossdreamers in the Kama Sutra tells us that there are crossdreamers everywhere and everywhen).
The Yaoi Culture and the female to male crossdreamers (The female to male crossdreamers or "girlfags" are hiding in plain sight, expressing their transgender lives through Japanes style comics and stories.)
Alternative explanations for crossdreaming/autogynephilia
On the inner femininity of autogynephiliacs (On the theory arguing that innate femininity in men can lead to feminine homosexuality, transsexualism or autogynephilia)
Autogynephilia as something normal (The O'Keefe Model that states that such erotic dreams are quite common)
Eroticizing the inner woman (On the theory arguing that autogynephila is a misdirection of a female identity)
Eroticizing the inner woman (On the theory arguing that autogynephila is a misdirection of a female identity)
On Gilmartin's love shy men and male lesbians (On meek men who are afraid to approach women while at the same time worshiping them).
The female and male copulation instinct (A discussion on how different copulation instincts may not always follow sexual orientation)
On the inborn sex identity (Using the story of Viktor/Viktoria and David Reimer I argue that there definitely is such a thing as an inborn sex identity and that crossdreaming may have a biological core).
On the inborn sex identity (Using the story of Viktor/Viktoria and David Reimer I argue that there definitely is such a thing as an inborn sex identity and that crossdreaming may have a biological core).
Family life
Wife of an autogynephiliac asks for help (On discovering that your husband is an autogynephiliac)
Autogynephilia and loneliness (On how to find love and keep it)
On the sex life of crossdreamers (On how to integrate crossdreaming in a heterosexual relationship)
Crossdreamer love (When male to female and female to male crossdreamers meet)
Is there a cure for autogynephilia or autoandrophilia? (On various therapies that have been used in order to cure crossdreaming)
Crossdreamer love (When male to female and female to male crossdreamers meet)
Is there a cure for autogynephilia or autoandrophilia? (On various therapies that have been used in order to cure crossdreaming)
On evolutionary biology
This series presents the views of biologist Joan Roughgarden and her social selection theory:
Biological research
Spirituality
The spiritual life of a crossdreamer (Many crossdreamers try to incorporate their crossdreaming into their religious and spiritual life)
Spellbound transgender (On myths and fairy tales used in self exploration)
These are just a few of the blog posts on this site. Use the table of contents and the tags in the right hand column to find more.
15 comments:
Hi,
I just found your blog and have been reading for the past 2 hours. It is very well done and outstanding in that it precisely reflects my lifelong "suppressed" sexuality and personal autogynephilic issues. I am a physician, now over age 60 and can do little to fulfill my longstanding desires other than reading about the issue and now, thanks to your blog, feeling in some small way a part of a "brotherhood" if you will.
There is so much I'd lke to say and ask, but I don't want to take up too much of your time. But please know that you have helped me greatly by your professional approach to "our" mutual and unique feelings.
I will ask only one question now and await a reply to see if you (or any or your readers) are interested in further discussing an approach which I find helps my frustrations a great deal. I stay in excellent physical shape so that I can take personal photos onto which I photoshop female breasts, both nude and clothed. I have become extremely proficient and the pics are quite realistic. They somewhat fulfill my fantasy and have become a main source of my sexual stimulation, including fantasizing about them as I make love to my wife who knows of and accepts my autogynephilia (but not my photo fantasy). I would love to share my photos with others of similar interests probably a bit of exhibtionism on my part!) and I would very much appreciate your thoughts (and other readers of your blog) on this photographic approach to autogynephilia.
Thank you again for your fine efforts,
Ken
It is good to hear another story about a man that has come to terms with his strange fate. And I am glad to see that you have a wife that accepts this part of you. I think this is of great help to others, including myself.
I find your photo hobby very fascinating. Given that our feminine side is such an important part of us, I believe most autogynephiliacs struggle to find some way to express it. As far as I can see there are two main avenues:
1. Cross-dressing (normally in private)
2. TG captioning (adding fantasies and stories to erotic images)
There are, as you probably know, a large number of online fora where autogynephiliacs can share captions anonymously.
You are clearly using Photoshop to make such images a little bit more realistic, and I am sure there must be other image editor savvy "brothers"/"sisters" out there that do the same or could contemplate doing it.
There is one major problem, though: anonymity. You do not want pictures of this kind out in the public domain.
I can think of one possible avenue. Become a member of Rachel's Haven (http://www.rachelshaven.com/) or Feeling Femme (http://www.rachelshaven.com/) and contribute with a few traditional caps in order to get acquainted with other members.
This is all about trust, and you need to demonstrate that you will no harm. Then you could post your idea in one of the appropriate forum categories and see if there are others that find this interesting. Then you may use the forum email systems to discuss what to do.
Under no circumstance should you post images where you are clearly identifiable in the forums themselves.
That was one idea on how to proceed. Are there any others who know how our friend can get in touch with others?
Jack
Thank you very much for your prompt reply, Jack. I too do some crossdressing from time to time and wear my breastforms around the house. But regarding my photos, I certainly agree that anonymity is crucial were I to post any photos. I'm thinking that I would exclude face in all instances. Do you think that would be sufficient and safe? I will visit rachelshaven.com immediately and introduce myself. I'll wait on posting anything and hopefully, your members might have an interest.
Thank you again,
Ken
Thank you again,
Ken
Hi! This is another anonymous user than the previous one!
I have been doing photoshop, as you have been doing too. I find it really good at times as a relaxer, and explorer of my 'inner-womanhood'. After reading this post I did the Rachel's Forum registration... And left a message in the "New Introductions", my name on their is Lexi... Anyways, if you are still doing the photoshop thing, let me know... And maybe we can examine/ trade notes on better photos!
Wow, your smile looks really feminine, almost like you are a smiling woman. :)
Hello there!
I find this blog to be the most balanced & well written of them all regarding these subjects. I am so relieved it exists.
I'd like to send an email with some interesting points (I am also a crossdreamer at the point of decision on which choice I shall make), however I can't seem to access the email address for this site. Could you tell me what the address is please?
Best regards,
Fran.
Dear Fran,
Send your email to jack.molay@gmail.com
After reading much of this discussion, there is a lot, I have one thought I would like to propose for the collective and the arguments presented. Is being a human in terms of gender as black and white as Male and Female? Or are Male and Female man made ideals and in reality Humans are subject to the variations of nature and gender is really a gray scale of multiple factors? (Note: Gender, being in the brain, sexuality being between the legs. In this thought, the idea of gender re-assignment surgery would equal a brain transplant) Re-arrange the thoughts of this blog under the suggestion that gender is not a naturally bi-modal situation, rather the idea of Male female is a function of being normal. Not sure what to replace it with, but I would ooffer that by nature, gender is subject varations we do not understand, but let me offer a few to start the ideas flowing. Gender could be a scale of 1. Genetic Gender (chromosomal), 2. Physical Gender (sexual characteristics), 3. Brain Gender (Functional structure of the brain, along gender lines), 4. Brain Sex (Love/sex Patterns, relating to others on a social, interpersonal and sexual level), 5. Gender Identity (Our subjective gender, how we feel ourselves to be: male or female).
Does this impact the argument?
Hello All I would like to remain anonymous but I can say that I have felt like a Gay man trapped in a womans body ,,I am very masculine at the soul level with no attraction to women and I don't like womens clothes on my partner , I would never change my sex but would like to meet a Feminine Man who is not a crossdresser because although Ive known many I just cant get into that type of femininity .Ive been very attracted to many beautiful (at least I think so ) men but lost all interest after taking off half of their clothes I am really not into women and I believ femininity is more than clothing deep .I would love to meet a grounded (non narcissist 9ANOTHER TRAIT THAT IS OFTEN CONFUSED WITH FEMININITY) man who is secure in a femininity that I can respect because i dont possess it,
I have fought fire and played rugby and wrestled men at the college level I seek a Mr Humphries type I will contact anyone who leaves me their contact e-mail
I am looking to see if anyone has heard of my dilemma .I am a masculine woman think gay man in womans body and i appreciate feminine men but have never had a real relationship outside of bodyguarding Men who crossdress or do drag shows. I present as feminine since I stopped fighting fire and wrestling and playing rugby on mens teams . I am just wondering if anyone has heard of my dilemma and understands that I am not talking about lesbianism or crossdressing im looking for a soul connection with my opposite
I would contact anyone who could help me if they left their contact info. I cant do that just yet
@anonymous
You should put this comment up on crossdreamlife.com. There are members there who I believe will fit your dream profile of a man.
Throughout this year I have come to realize that there are millions like you out there. Search this blog for the word 'girlfag'!
Jack, I can't thank you enough for putting this blog out there. I'm so relieved to see so many of us exist and I'm not the lone freak of nature. I always justified my "habit" as basically creative masturbation - I could "be" both the giver and the receiver. By "being" the female things weren't so boring for sure. That lonely feeling afterwards of disappointment compared to actual sex with someone was not so noticeable. I too eventually came to view "her" and "me" as 2 separate entities, not opposing parts of myself. Sounds crazy, kind of split personaity-ish, but helped me handle it by feeling it was "sorted out" somehow. The inner conflict is just something i've gotten used to, society is always trying to put good/acceptable or bad/ unacceptable labels on everything but we don't have to apply them to ourselves. They need the illusion of control. The more we can ignore that unfortunate rule book the better our differences become. I also suspected it must be much more common than it appears - the majority of men like us probably keep it to themselves, as i always have, figuring no one would understand anyway so why risk revealing it? How can the basic premise of "being what you desire" be so unusual? Particularly if you also have real relationships with women and sex isn't a problem? Thanks again, you've saved my sanity!
It is actually very common, not only among male bodied transgender but also among female bodied ones. (Search for girlfag in this blog for more information).
As for establishing a separate female personality:
This is actually quite common among crossdreamers. I have called this second personality complex for the Ponyo (named after the Japanese anime movie)
This is the psyche's way of handling the unbearable conflict between your feminine self and your masculine life. It makes perfect sense when you think about it.
I feel a great big 'thank you' for the Crossdreamers blog.
Although I have had years personal exploration and reading in sexuality and gender issues your blog has given me a new vocabulary and insight.
Your articles are inspiring and supportive, so well done and please keep doing what you do so well.
Karma
@Karma
Thank you for your kind words! They mean a lot to me.
And to all of you: Keep debating crossdreaming both here and over at Crossdream Life. By making crossdreamers visible, it is much harder to dehumanize us.
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