tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2472400923228993687.post1201798131675529385..comments2024-02-25T22:43:04.662-08:00Comments on Crossdreamers: The dominant crossdreamerSally Molayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02015510914816971645noreply@blogger.comBlogger28125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2472400923228993687.post-7553336537370127662012-01-19T18:10:42.298-08:002012-01-19T18:10:42.298-08:00I would like to add to my previous comment that I ...I would like to add to my previous comment that I have no idea how I came to view it this way.<br /><br />It's completely counter-cultural.Alassandrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17004018855703699462noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2472400923228993687.post-53802080028030346042012-01-19T18:06:07.220-08:002012-01-19T18:06:07.220-08:00Hi. I'm a bio-male who cross dreams about bein...Hi. I'm a bio-male who cross dreams about being a woman most of the time. In the few fantasies in which I am my male self I am always submissive.<br /><br />When I'm cross dreaming I'm pretty much always dominant, but also on some occasions submissive.<br /><br />"in, this is a cultural interpretation. You may easily turn this interpretation on its head: The woman is the dominant one. She has full control over the man as she is the one that lets him into her body. The man, on the other hand, is very vulnerable as he is giving her control over one of the most vulnerable parts of his body to hers."<br /><br />I actually see it EXACTLY like that. Have done so for as long as I can remember. In my mind the female "devours" and the male is "devoured". Even in the rare cross dreams where I am submissive and "get taken" I still see it that the male is the vulnerable one.<br /><br />I wonder if there is anyone else out there that feels it this way? Surely there is?Alassandrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17004018855703699462noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2472400923228993687.post-49259623063390614872010-12-25T00:05:03.036-08:002010-12-25T00:05:03.036-08:00Anom,
"Dominant people are interested in thei...Anom,<br />"Dominant people are interested in their own pleasure. "<br /><br />I agree with this. And that is why you always hear the term of the masculine man being dominant on bed. Because, his real intention is not to love women but to just brag his own masculinity.<br />feminine males who like women,however,when they penetrate women,don't do it out of dominance but out of full submissiveness, out of real love for the woman.<br />But,our flawed sciences are reluctant to highlight these issues.Jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2472400923228993687.post-6587804449845927002010-12-24T23:55:07.828-08:002010-12-24T23:55:07.828-08:00You think feminine males only like to get fucked. ...You think feminine males only like to get fucked. But you don't even bother to look at countless feminine males who genuinely like to please women to their heart's content and love them so sincerely. Because you are fed all this bullshit by crap scientists like Bailey who I believe are both anti-woman as well as anti-man.Jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2472400923228993687.post-14159426843428275072010-12-24T23:50:42.039-08:002010-12-24T23:50:42.039-08:00Mary,
Anonymous hit it right on the nail. Even if ...Mary,<br />Anonymous hit it right on the nail. Even if I assume you for real,your flawed observations here reinforce my belief in why our psychological sciences have been thus far so highly miserable in portraying issues of gender and sexuality (of both men and women) with true colors and why at the most, a majority of so called modern scholarly treatises on sexuality and gender are nothing more than stupid stereotypes.<br /><br />"Women are narcissistic while men love to pleasure them"<br /><br />I was reading a good book on this which says it is ONLY the feminine males (who are not gay), who love to please women because they are the only males who genuinely like women. The rest of straight men just create a facade of this not out of feelings for women but only to reinforce their own masculinity. This is because our hegemonic heterosexist patriarchal society has made "satisfying and loving women" a chivalrous red-blooded masculine trait of men to prove their manhood (because very wrongly, red blooded heterosexuality is associated with being masculine, so that, even the most masculine gay man is considered sissy and the most feminine Justin Bieber becomes a "hot man" just because he is into girls), although it is totally artificial.<br />I am feminine bisexual and most of my feelings for women are way different than those of my masculine peers in college who use women for bragging their masculine prowess with the girls. While I can gauge subtly that I like women far far more than these men could ever do, I however fail to get the girls simply because I don't feel like acting like a dick.<br />Psychologists have been constantly skewing true facts and figures in order to serve social patriarchal interests which has led to this mess.Jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2472400923228993687.post-43871624225206830332010-12-24T22:05:53.787-08:002010-12-24T22:05:53.787-08:00"Women have an avolutionary advantage in doin..."Women have an avolutionary advantage in doing this- they are supporting reproduction"<br /><br />Where is the advantage ? This is what killed women's sexuality and why they have been told that they must not like sex (to avoid to men to raise tha babies of the neighboors)<br /><br />The women have the advantage that most men like to fuck them so when a woman wants to get a dick in her asshole it is considered as normal (despite the fact it will make no kids) and even encouraged !<br /><br />While when a men wants the same, it is considered by not normal as most men don't want to do this or at least can not tell it in public because society tells that they must love women because societ need soldiers and taxpayers.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2472400923228993687.post-79690944558349914192010-12-24T21:57:43.973-08:002010-12-24T21:57:43.973-08:00"Women are narcissistic while men love to ple..."Women are narcissistic while men love to pleasure them"<br /><br />This is silly. Men only want to stick in their dicks, ejaculate and sleep. And if they want to please a woman, it is only by narcissism, to feel like real men but they don't care about women's feelings. <br /><br />That's why they are macho and cut clitoris in many countries !<br /><br />Plus if they only want to please women, that makes them rather submissive not dominant.<br /><br />Dominant people are interested in their own pleasure. Submissive care more about the pleasure of the others.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2472400923228993687.post-19844953355266620082010-12-24T21:52:32.961-08:002010-12-24T21:52:32.961-08:00I am narcissitic but thinking that it implies to l...I am narcissitic but thinking that it implies to like to be penatrated and so submissive is silly.<br /><br />Narcissistic people like to rule and so don't feel submissive.<br /><br />I don't feel submissive in my relation with people or in bed with women.<br /><br />Plus you can seduce many people even if you penatrate, no need to be penetrated to attract many people and feed you narcissism. A man who needs to have sex with many women can be narcissistic and feeds it with beeing a play boy !<br /><br />When I am penetrated I rule, I am not submissive, I decide what the man will do. I feel powerful. His is my toy. My dildo. So I am submissive to what ? Nothing !<br /><br />May submisive to my sexual pulsion but not to the man that fucks me !Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2472400923228993687.post-32978211491922714582010-12-24T10:00:37.785-08:002010-12-24T10:00:37.785-08:00Jamiegotten,
You still have not found any points t...Jamiegotten,<br />You still have not found any points to refute my observations. You simply are trying to avoid them because you are afraid of owning it up.<br />Why? Because you know deep down that you have narcissistic traits which make you submissive sexually.<br />Women do it all the time, and you all effeminate males are the same.<br />For some reasons best known to you alone, you like to get constantly satisfied by men sexually and emotionally.<br />Women have an avolutionary advantage in doing this- they are supporting reproduction. But when a man does it, it is not something to be taken in a healthy and positive way because it goes directly against the evolutionary principles. It makes no point for a man to want to be submissive as he is to penetrate and must be virile and pervert.Marynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2472400923228993687.post-32284124389390043242010-12-20T10:20:13.692-08:002010-12-20T10:20:13.692-08:00Mary,
Hurray! You finally spit it out! It took a ...Mary,<br /><br />Hurray! You finally spit it out! It took a lot of prodding and pulling on my part, but as soon as you mentioned SPD, I knew that's what you "wanted" to say: That we're "pathological."<br /><br />I thought you would say we're schizophrenics, or future ones, but you out did yourself, and fell right in and proved that you ARE DEFINATELY NOT a mental health professional.<br /><br />No mental health professional would make such a sweeping statement based on nothing more that a few comments on a blog.Bunnyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12533555060918801821noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2472400923228993687.post-62100622460502288052010-12-20T09:10:23.683-08:002010-12-20T09:10:23.683-08:00Dear James,
You as well as Anynymous yourselves pr...Dear James,<br />You as well as Anynymous yourselves prove that you have strong narcissistic traits which you express through your sexuality. Your taking the submissive role during sex with men suggests you get excited by the thought of people adoring you.<br />Yet Jamiegotten denies the link between male femininity and NPD and SPD.<br />Not all SPDs are effeminate males but all feminine males (including AGPs) appear to have NPD in association with SPD in greater or lesser traits.Women are narcissistic while men love to pleasure them. You take the role of women to get pleasured.<br /><br />Your denying of reality is not going to make you people appear less pathological.Marynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2472400923228993687.post-91832811009002591662010-12-19T12:16:45.680-08:002010-12-19T12:16:45.680-08:00That's silly !
Why the one who is penetrated...That's silly ! <br /><br />Why the one who is penetrated is necessary submissive ?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2472400923228993687.post-45123913165427802622010-12-19T06:57:05.354-08:002010-12-19T06:57:05.354-08:00Anonymous:
In my opinion, sexually, yes; there ar...Anonymous:<br /><br />In my opinion, sexually, yes; there are pitchers and catchers. You are a catcher.<br /><br />It's been my own observation that in the bedroom, people are often the diametric opposite of what they are in the rest of their lives.<br /><br />If so, you fit that characterization. <br /><br />Just like the guy that is a big shot CEO with hundreds of people jumping at his ever whim, but once or twice a week pays a visit to a discreet dominitrix to sexually enjoy being the opposite of that.<br /><br />Just one of the mysteries of human behavior. I wouldn't sweat it :-)Bunnyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12533555060918801821noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2472400923228993687.post-77821523988423548292010-12-19T02:46:35.237-08:002010-12-19T02:46:35.237-08:00What does "submissive" mean ?
Many peop...What does "submissive" mean ?<br /><br />Many people use this word but what does it imply to do and like ?<br /><br />I bet that many people don't have the same definition.<br /><br />I am not submissive in the way that I like to control what happens when I have sex with a man when dressed. <br /><br />And when I chase men online I lead the conversation and decide how and when we will meet.<br /><br />I like to wear nylon stockings, to play with my tits, to suck and to be fucked. And of course to think that I am a sexy woman when doing that.<br /><br />I never kiss men, don't caress them, they are just living dildos who help me to make my fantasy of beeing a girl real and most of time I find them dumb<br />and unattractive and tell to myself that I would never be the girlfriend of such a loser if I was a girl.<br /><br />Am I submissive ?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2472400923228993687.post-79065328519396294662010-12-16T22:51:02.185-08:002010-12-16T22:51:02.185-08:00Mary,
"Straight men love to satisfy women sex...Mary,<br />"Straight men love to satisfy women sexually and emotionally, and these feminine gay and bisexual males take the role of women in order to get satisfied themselves.<br />Which indicates they have narcissistic traits coupled with SPD, making them highly self-indulgent."<br /><br />What a load of terrible crap!!<br />It seems you have something against feminine males so as to make such a bitter accusation.<br />SPD and NPD are traits which can occur to anyone regardless of gender. Besides, those traits of <br />"self-indulgence" which you observe in feminine males is not a case of narcissism, it is simply a a healthy feminine self-esteem which many women also have. Perhaps your denigrating this healthy vanity aspect of feminine males is simply because you devalue femininity itself and have a misogynistic agenda.<br />Your crap sounds very much like that of Bailey who once said that all females are bisexual and awefully complex human beings, while men are very innocent and simple with a strict black-white sexual orientation (gay/straight with no continuum).<br />You not only are a fraud psychologist, but also an activist with a specific misogynistic agenda. It is because of people like you that TG MTFs encounter such massive discriminations in society and are called as sick, perverted, obsessive freaks and what not.Jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2472400923228993687.post-34752453555784467532010-12-16T13:19:46.863-08:002010-12-16T13:19:46.863-08:00Thanks for responding. Like I said, either you are...Thanks for responding. Like I said, either you are misdiagnosing people or you are not actually a psychologist.<br /><br />And you still did not address my point: SPD should not be diagnosed if is due to the result of another condition, medical or psychological.<br /><br />Furthermore, SPD is a rather rare disorder. Estimated to effect less than 1% of the population. That makes it even rarer than GID, cross dressing, and transsexualism. yet, you claim, "I have found this trait universally in the love-shy heterosexual feminine males as well as the feminine bisexual metrosexual men."<br /><br />There's something wrong there.<br /><br />Besides, it completely disagrees with my own experience of submissive, feminine, heterosexual men, most of which seem the complete opposite to me of someone cold, aloof and indifferent, and with problems establishing personal relationships.<br /><br />Just goes to show either what a crock of shit most psychology is, or whether you are indeed a practicing psychologist, which I more and more tend to doubt.Bunnyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12533555060918801821noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2472400923228993687.post-43180260132655905942010-12-16T11:12:34.099-08:002010-12-16T11:12:34.099-08:00Jamiegotten,
You are wrong if you think I am misdi...Jamiegotten,<br />You are wrong if you think I am misdiagnosing people. Traits of SPD and even narcissism are common among many feminine males. I never said this is a pathological mental disorder. it could simply be a natural variation though.<br />Indeed, many feminine males take part in their own bodily pleasure rather than their partner's pleasure, which is the reason they are submissive. Straight men love to satisfy women sexually and emotionally, and these feminine gay and bisexual males take the role of women in order to get satisfied themselves.<br />Which indicates they have narcissistic traits coupled with SPD, making them highly self-indulgent.Marynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2472400923228993687.post-84619960326908816092010-12-15T12:46:46.167-08:002010-12-15T12:46:46.167-08:00Mary:
It is my understanding that SPD should not ...Mary:<br /><br />It is my understanding that SPD should not be diagnosed if is due to the result of another condition, medical or psychological.<br /><br />In your world, gender dysphoria, and or autogynephilia would be such a condition, wouldn't they?<br /><br />After all, such conditions can cause detachment from social relationships and a restricted range of emotions in interpersonal settings, can't they?<br /><br />A very many of us shut ourselves off from others, because it seems safer to keep our distance after the first few times we've been hurt. That's not because we are "suffering" from something, but because even the dumbest rat in the maze eventually learns from their mistake.<br /><br />I think it is more just being jaded, than suffering from a condition.<br /><br />Which would mean that you are either misdiagnosing these people, and considering a symptom a malady, or you're not actually a psychologist at all, and just playing one on the internet.Bunnyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12533555060918801821noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2472400923228993687.post-60467492728825159772010-12-14T22:45:42.741-08:002010-12-14T22:45:42.741-08:00I have seen a lot of submissive feminine males als...I have seen a lot of submissive feminine males also have what the APA calls as SPD (Schizoid Peronality Disdorder), sometimes also, Asperger's Syndrome.<br />I have found this trait universally in the love-shy heterosexual feminine males as well as the feminine bisexual metrosexual men and almost a majority of them reported being 100% submissive. I have had discussions about this with numerous other psychologists and surprisingly, most have had similar observations.Marynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2472400923228993687.post-73386396117697381222010-12-14T11:35:55.953-08:002010-12-14T11:35:55.953-08:00I am feminine bisexual male and my reason for bein...I am feminine bisexual male and my reason for being submissive is same as that of Bubbleponei.<br />It is certain that feminity is desirable and masculinity is to desire it, in the sexual arena game. That could be the sole reason why this trend occurs.<br />I like to be desirable in a feminine way and like to validate my femininity by being adored and flirted. Which naturally leads me to be what is called "submissive". But in reality, it is not submissive in any real sense. I think what we call as dominant and submissive are really not about power game. It is about who desires and adores and who wants to be desirable and narcissistic. Is not it, Jack?<br />Because men are the ones who usually desire and women and feminine males are the ones who want to be desirable, it makes sense that thr latter tend to bottom while men top.Jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2472400923228993687.post-90859333507459907192010-12-14T08:49:11.092-08:002010-12-14T08:49:11.092-08:00Oh no, Honey,
My bestest gUrlfriend Glenda, the B...Oh no, Honey,<br /><br />My bestest gUrlfriend Glenda, the BIGGEST FREEKING t-girl you ever saw, also happens to be a perfectly normal, happily-married male, with 2-now grown adult daughters.<br /><br />He is not submissive with his wife, and it is not an act, but just the way he feels when he is with her.<br /><br />Blanchard, to put it mildly, as you have obviously suspected, is an over-educated moron.<br /><br />He knows, as so many in academia: "Just enough to be dangerous."Bunnyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12533555060918801821noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2472400923228993687.post-31273315763902845162010-12-14T08:45:51.774-08:002010-12-14T08:45:51.774-08:00Jack, the pair I spoke about were both women-lovin...Jack, the pair I spoke about were both women-loving trans women.Bitterness Barbiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15080082175885943270noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2472400923228993687.post-15469616117030576012010-12-14T03:58:51.804-08:002010-12-14T03:58:51.804-08:00@jamiegottagun
"A number of T-Girls are domi...@jamiegottagun<br /><br />"A number of T-Girls are dominant. Haven't you ever heard of T-Girl and Shemale Dominitrixes?"<br /><br />Yes, I have even been discussing crossdreaming with <a href="http://www.crossdreamers.com/2010/03/sissy-and-dominatrix.html" rel="nofollow">some of them.</a> <br /><br />However, it was my impression that most of them are androphilic (man-loving) and not gynephilic as most crossdreamers seem to be.<br /><br />It was my impression that most M2f transgender pairs were made up of two woman-loving transwomen.<br /><br />But it could be that I have read too much of Blanchard and have given in to silly prejudices. Maybe this isn't much of a point anyway.Jack Molayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03629363646482611722noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2472400923228993687.post-5223930420109276552010-12-13T15:21:26.286-08:002010-12-13T15:21:26.286-08:00I may have submissive tendencies but I don't e...I may have submissive tendencies but I don't exclusively identify as dominant or submissive. I don't take a dominant role, ever, but I tease and use my charms to get men's attention. I excitedly take a dynamically passive role, and am 100% bottom. So essentially I am flirting with males to top me. I am a transwoman on her gender quest.<br /><br />I know of several dominant crossdresser queens. I happen to adore one of the, Simone of the Modern Goddess blog, who shares my respect for fashion. She is in control, but also feminine.<br /><br />I know several crossdreamers who are dominant in a more conventional sense, whips and leather and *yawns* blah blah blah.<br /><br />http://bubblepopmei.blogspot.com/bubblepopmeihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06695575181520163019noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2472400923228993687.post-8082611961827538782010-12-13T12:20:46.623-08:002010-12-13T12:20:46.623-08:00same goes for finding a cis-man that is not a cree...same goes for finding a cis-man that is not a creepy tranny-chaserBitterness Barbiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15080082175885943270noreply@blogger.com