tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2472400923228993687.post2605500038171639540..comments2024-02-25T22:43:04.662-08:00Comments on Crossdreamers: Beyond the PerversionSally Molayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02015510914816971645noreply@blogger.comBlogger99125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2472400923228993687.post-1261046311796118162014-07-08T20:35:51.859-07:002014-07-08T20:35:51.859-07:00" Is it possible, you think, for a person who..." Is it possible, you think, for a person who is really female with a male body to live with that gender dysphoria all their life? "<br /><br />I wish I had a simple answer to this, but I have not.<br /><br />It is certainly possible, in the sense that there are crossdreamers who do so (I no longer use the misleading term "autogynephiliac"). <br /><br />If their crossdreaming condition is mild, this may work well, but if it is hard -- as in your case -- it may look like they can only do so by sacrificing their own happiness. <br /><br /><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Gendered-Further-commentary-transsexual-phenomenon/dp/0557735335/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1404876179&sr=8-1&keywords=the+gendered+self" rel="nofollow"> Anne Vitale has given a good presentation</a> of how the gender dysphoria of male to female crossdreamers often become stronger and stronger as they get older. There may be limits to what you are able to bear.<br /><br />I guess what I am trying to say here is that I am not sure this sacrifice actually will be of help to your family. They are bound to notice your unhappiness, and if they really love you (as I am sure they do) they would probably be willing to do a lot to make your life better. Whether this includes transitioning is another matter.<br /><br />There may be one other option, though, but again this depends on the intensity of your dysphoria. In my own life I have found that being accepted as the one I am by the woman who loves me has given me much relief. I lived in a constant fear of losing her, but know that I am "out" to her, and see that she still loves me, the fear has abated. It is much easier to carry this burden now. <br /><br />This acceptance has also made it easier for me to express my crossdreamer sexuality with her, and that is important. Maybe you could say a few words about what you mean when you call yourself "asexual". That would make it easier for the rest of us to see to what extent a more fulfilling sex life may give relief.<br /><br />(Please do not consider this professional medial advice. Do not do anything drastic without consulting a doctor or a therapist!)Jack Molayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03629363646482611722noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2472400923228993687.post-20951629262410252112014-07-08T18:15:39.047-07:002014-07-08T18:15:39.047-07:00Hi Jack,
Thank you for your helpful post. I hav...Hi Jack,<br /><br /> Thank you for your helpful post. I have a question that's really been weighing a lot on my mind: First of all, I consider myself to be an asexual autogynephile who has always had a non-masculine self-image that I have not embraced until now. The tragic part is that I understood this only after being married with two young children. I already feel a sense of emotional release coming to terms with who I really am, and I am seeking psychological help, but I really, really don't want to hurt my family, especially my children. Besides, SRS and FFS are really expensive and I am still in school (graduate school) without much savings. Is it possible, you think, for a person who is really female with a male body to live with that gender dysphoria all their life? Thanks!an autogynephilehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11072312257382121898noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2472400923228993687.post-32514285184507202282013-02-06T16:55:30.482-08:002013-02-06T16:55:30.482-08:00Jack Molay:
"1. There could be a biological ...Jack Molay:<br /><br />"1. There could be a biological "mix" at birth that strengthens some non-masculine traits, even if the person's identity clearly is male.<br /><br />2. This leads to personal and psychological experiences where these non-masculine traits weakens the man's self respect and trust in his own identity as a man. (Cp. the "androphobia" of James, GenderQuestioning and myself).<br /><br />3. These psychological factors triggers biological feminine instincts and desires and leads to a desire to have sex as a woman."<br /><br />This would be a great alternative model explaining the non-dysphorics and some dysphorics. And it would be no coincidence that many non-dysphoric AG's think their condition is psychological "trauma". I believe this too but that doesn't exclude the fact that i might be a feminine man at my core to begin with. Whether AG is a psychological symptom or a innate trait to feel feminine apart from how one identifies, sexual or not, is a question for us.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09273905611748020119noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2472400923228993687.post-56294675501654335382012-12-04T12:53:51.419-08:002012-12-04T12:53:51.419-08:00"GenderQuestioning,
What I intend to say is t..."GenderQuestioning,<br />What I intend to say is that sometimes your sexuality may be an issue of gender problem too, I have experieneced it myself.<br />When i was younger and all guys around me used to hang around and flirt with girls while I needed desperately romance from a guy,I started developing intense dysphoria and longed to be a girl. I started feeling that in this world full of heterosexuals,it would be difficult for me to carry on as a male. I began to envy girls and wanted to be as feminine as possible. I even once thought of the option of SRS just because living life like a straight guy among other guys was becoming increasingly difficult.<br />But, then, I entered into friendships with many gay men and once I found I was desirable by other guys even as a guy, I started loving my male side once again and today I am just a good doing gay male.<br />As you say, you are unhappy with your body image and your unmanliness. Just have a healthy interaction with a good and gentle guy who rebuilds your confidence as a boy and see if your dysphoria goes away. I am not saying this is the case with you, but just that it might be a possible reason for your unhappiness. "<br /><br />This was a very helpful thing to say! I don't claim that every love-shy, male-lesbian, gay man, straight introvert person has AGP. But some might have the potential in their psyche to experience this. I was a perfectly happy male in my childhood and teens but since my OCD, erection dysfunction, love-shyness and overall low self-esteem has been an issue for me, the AGP has suddently been my competing sexual fantasy. Sometimes even distressing.. But i have noticed that when i feel good, i have no AGP whatsoever and i don't deny having them so i'm not just saything this to seem cool.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09273905611748020119noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2472400923228993687.post-42260076142789134722010-02-23T11:17:26.752-08:002010-02-23T11:17:26.752-08:00That's one reason why despite being gay, I hav...That's one reason why despite being gay, I have sometimes wondered if I am autogynephile as well and my online searches landed me up here. <br />I do sometimes have fantasies of being sissy even though sex with an attractve man isn't in my mind. It is just in tune with my own inner psyche.Jaikishennoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2472400923228993687.post-69530243750231901062010-02-23T11:15:10.358-08:002010-02-23T11:15:10.358-08:00I never imagined that autogynephiles are very much...I never imagined that autogynephiles are very much like feminine males under cover. I can see as well as testify to the fact that some of the inner fantasies of many AGPs are shared by feminine gay men like me.Jaikishennoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2472400923228993687.post-16580892759160960462010-01-29T07:32:30.494-08:002010-01-29T07:32:30.494-08:00To Natalie:
I have posted a whole article in res...To Natalie: <br /><br />I have posted a whole article in response to your comment. Maybe we can continue the discussion there:<br /><br />http://autogynephiliac.blogspot.com/2010/01/on-innate-femininity-of.htmlJack Molayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03629363646482611722noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2472400923228993687.post-37703478993111233712010-01-29T06:04:35.966-08:002010-01-29T06:04:35.966-08:00To Anonymous and Sexy-dude,
It seems to me that ...To Anonymous and Sexy-dude,<br /><br />It seems to me that given what you have written here, both of you may fit the category autogynephiliac as this is described by researchers. <br /><br />To Anonymous; Many autogynephiliacs report fantasies of being dominated by men, even if they are only sexually attracted to women. <br /><br />The men in these fantasies are often faceless. It is the idea of being a woman that is the turn-on, not the male character. So: If you is attracted to women in the real world, I would guess that you are indeed an autogynephiliac.Jack Molayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03629363646482611722noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2472400923228993687.post-86045985219928566872010-01-29T00:56:02.100-08:002010-01-29T00:56:02.100-08:00I like to migrate to female world of fantasy frequ...I like to migrate to female world of fantasy frequently. I dont crossdress or have any desire to do so in reality either.<br />But,I fantasize as it makes me feel relaxed and also enjoy my feminine side which often wants mild expression. Just like an author who migrates to the world of animals in imagination occasionally but that does not mean he is animal.<br />I think autogynephilia is something very much like this. Or is it something different? I don't consider I am a girl because of what I imagine.Sexy_dudenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2472400923228993687.post-20361253899529227622010-01-28T23:53:30.942-08:002010-01-28T23:53:30.942-08:00JACK,
If getting aroused by female fantasy is auto...JACK,<br />If getting aroused by female fantasy is autogynephilia, then, I guess transvestites who crossdress for enjoying a feminizing effect should also fall under this category.<br />I crossdress and sissyfy myself and imagine a male dominating me. I get aroused not by the male body but his perverted role. Should I call myself homsexual femi nine male or autogynephile crossdresser,Jack?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2472400923228993687.post-52942615862427857152010-01-28T19:10:55.593-08:002010-01-28T19:10:55.593-08:00Jack,
My personal thoughts are that in general th...Jack,<br /><br />My personal thoughts are that in general the fact that AGP seems to be developed along with and in relation to sexual desire make it unlikely that it is a partial feminization condition but rather a method of dealing with such desire. If it was a feminization condition, it would only affect sexual desire which is far from what womanhood means.<br /><br />That said.. I do think that it is possible that someone could be confused and conflate both AGP and very real early developing female desires but I think that childhood behavior is a key.<br /><br />So, I think there is some room for gray in an HSTS/AGP debate. Biology is messy.GenderQuestioninghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07966407055595576955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2472400923228993687.post-53492844282983805652010-01-28T11:48:38.857-08:002010-01-28T11:48:38.857-08:00Natalie's views are right I guess. Many TG for...Natalie's views are right I guess. Many TG forums have stressed that there is a difference between gender identity and gender expression. The former is innate but latter is learned through observations. <br />But quite often the latter is used to decide the former. This presents a problem for non-homosexual TS who wish to SRS but cannot present accurately. HSTS get the biggest advantage here as they can articulate the expresions easily since they have learned it so well.<br />Whether a person is male or female should be judged by innate femininity and how they feel inside; not a set of socially accepted mannerisms. <br />AGPs could well be similar to bigender effeminate men (or drag queens) but they havent learnt feminine expressions as they didn't need that. For the same reason,there are also many feminine males who are not gay and hence never express effeminacy but that does not rule out they have a female inside.Bettynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2472400923228993687.post-87310965834982586972010-01-28T11:13:54.329-08:002010-01-28T11:13:54.329-08:00Jack Molay,
I believe that unless one has both inn...Jack Molay,<br />I believe that unless one has both innate femininity as well as the enthusiasm to be theatrical for a specific purpose, it's difficult to master or express campness articulately. Hence, a person can have feminine genetic makeup but still not be camp or even slightly feminine in gender expression. There are many women who are feminine for sure but to no extent express femininity that way unless on special occasions. <br />Also since gender and sexual orientation may not always be related,as in AGP, there is another point to be observed:<br />I guess there is a certain difference in how homosexuals and heterosexuals look at girls. Homosexuals men, more specifically, in most places outside Europe or North America, look at females just like ordinary girls do and try to imitate them as far as possible for presenting their beauty as their primary purpose is to appear pretty.<br />They have not much difficulty in imbibing the campness and feminine behavior with just a bit of practise on a highly subconscious level.<br />However,heterosexuals usually look at women sexually. And so do the autogynephiles although they themselves have a feminine component inside.<br />So, while these homosexuals would go on making their inner feminine persona presentable and so would concentrate on their outward mannerisms, autogynephiles go on to eroticize this inner woman due to their sexuality. And because they dont see women that way, they fail to behave feminine too.<br />But that does not mean they are not feminine. I have heard many AGPs have felt different from other boys in childhood and also have had a strong femininity. It's that they haven't noticed their femininity like other girls and homosexuals or Classic trasnssexuals, because they simply did not need to pay attention to it and also worse,they were obviously made to believe they are boys.<br />In a way, they were more blind to their female component until their sexuality in puberty showed them....Natalienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2472400923228993687.post-75217446735812999182010-01-28T09:02:27.650-08:002010-01-28T09:02:27.650-08:00Natalie,
You may be on to something.
I have see...Natalie,<br /><br />You may be on to something. <br /><br />I have seen several attempts by researchers to argue that all gay males have been or are feminine in one way or the other. (Bailey certainly does in his controversial "Queen" book). <br /><br />I have not closed my mind on this, but I simple do not know as much about gay men as I do about autogynephiliacs (for obvious reasons). You, as a sexologist on the other hand must have met quite a few.<br /><br />So if I get you right, homosexual men have two choices: (1) To suppress their feminine side in order to attract gay men or (2) To accentuate their feminine side to attract heterosexual men. <br /><br />European and North-American normally go for option 1, while Thai and (maybe?) Latin-American gay men more often go for 2.<br /><br />The AGPs on the other hand don't want to attract men (at least not at first), so they don't have to make this choice in their outward lives. What they do in the bedroom is another matter.<br /><br />However, this requires that there is no biological causality between genetically based femininity and mannerisms. I.e.: their femininity is biological, but their "campness" is an act.<br /><br />Some report that many (but not all) AGPs find it hard to pass after transition, simply because they do not appear feminine or behave in a feminine manner.Jack Molayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03629363646482611722noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2472400923228993687.post-12480000589652010082010-01-28T08:28:56.343-08:002010-01-28T08:28:56.343-08:00Jack Molay,
I wouldn't say "camp" is...Jack Molay,<br />I wouldn't say "camp" is a form of behavior which is unwomanly. It is just that women normally don't intend to display it as it has no purpose whatsoever in their ordinary lives. However quite a lot women do engage in that, especially, when it comes to earning fame through glamour and beauty in fashion, film and music industry.<br />And the very same goes for drag queens.Most drag queens perform it as a form of art, to impersonate females or create an effect parallel to the glam females and hence get a lot of spotlight,attention and wider fame on stage. For them,finding sexual partners or having stable family isn't as essential as their need for media spotlight. Same goes for many XX women from the fashion industry too who are rejecting all traditional female roles for fashion.<br />But does that rule out they are women and feminine? <br />Camp is just an outward display or affectation but the genetic makeup which causes it has to be nothing but XX feminine.<br />Gay males, on the other hand, dont appear femme in the first place but still most are or atleast have been at a certain stage of life. Fashion may be an area of interest to them or not, but, to form stable relationships and to become potentially attractive clients in the homosexual market, they masculinize themselves and try to avoid every shred of that feminity their problems started with.<br />But I do suspect that had they not found their early childhood unmanly behaviors were inviting censure from Western society, they would have become more feminine or camp as well. I say this as in my country, just 42% of the kathoey report they have the mind of a true girl though all of them report feeling different from manly men and also feel they are quite feminine. Which leads me to conclude that many of these are just feminine gay men who have been put into kathoey category by the Thai society just because they are feminine. Yet they happily grow up as girls.<br />So, I would say, femininity is present and is the same for all of them- gay and bigender males, drag queens all the way to homsexual transsexuals. The degree of femininity displayed depends on which part of feminity they like most and which serves their purpose of survival provided they are not forced to repress it. But their basic genetic makeup or combinations of genes have same underlying base of femininity.<br />And so, finally,if autogynephiles are also feminine in some way, they must be having the same combination of genes which make them unmanly. They aren't camp just because they aren't drawn to it and they don't need it as any accessory tool.Natalienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2472400923228993687.post-5250162168492403872010-01-28T05:35:05.707-08:002010-01-28T05:35:05.707-08:00Defining an entire category based on a small group...Defining an entire category based on a small group of it's members is hard.. That is why any thoughts on gender identity conflicts will probably always be incomplete.<br /><br />Similiarly, there are many types of gay male. I know gay men who are practically women.. more so than many TS. I also know gay men who have that hard edge that screams male. There is a sort of energy.. a feeling of danger and a lot of other things that a man gives off that a woman does not have. In some ways, it comes back to chalace and spear, very fundamental and long term imagery of what gender means. Sometimes the simplist versions of the truth are simply the most true.<br /><br />Generally, men are men and a TS that really feels like a normal woman is a rare thing. Some start there and some eventually get there but many never do. It is a feeling not a presentation.. it is complex. I am sure natal women feel the same way.. Some TS we accept as women, some TS are women, and some TS will never be women and we feel their pain. Personally, I think most fall into the category where they are close enough to the genuine article that everyone can just accept them.<br /><br />The thing is that I don't know very many people with gender issues who make their decisions with an intent to do harm. We are all just trying to live with ourselves :) So, why punish anyone for it?GenderQuestioninghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07966407055595576955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2472400923228993687.post-64510388150583128982010-01-28T04:58:02.236-08:002010-01-28T04:58:02.236-08:00Natalie,
Thank you for a link to a very interesti...Natalie,<br /><br />Thank you for a link to a very interesting article and for some insightful observations!<br /><br />First: I do not think there is ONE gene for homosexuality or ONE gene for campness. But there is a very good chance that the interaction between several genes may cause such traits. Actually, I am pretty certain there are.<br /><br />I am no expert on gay men, both I know a few. Few of them are very effeminate (you know, like Jack in Will & Grace), but some are. Still their femininity is not like anything an XX woman would display, especially not if you move into the realm of flamboyant exhibitionism (like the one of drag queens). Truth to be told, I do not know how to understand this type of homosexuality. I like them, but I do not "get" them!<br /><br />That makes it hard for me to decide whether the cause of effeminate display among homosexual men is the same as the one for AGP. <br /><br />My first reaction is no, because very few AGPs displays the same mannerisms as Jack in Will & Grace. Quite the opposite, actually, we often seem very masculine, both in the way we look and the way we move.<br /><br />I have clear feminine traits, but they are found in my personality and in my interests, not in any form of "campness". I am as far away from camp as it is possible to imagine. Really :-)<br /><br />But that does not exclude the possibility that there is a factor X that causes both effeminate behavior among gay men and the dream of becoming a woman among AGPs.<br /><br />You know what, I have to think more about this....<br /><br />Any others who have any input?Jack Molayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03629363646482611722noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2472400923228993687.post-58649012837657488552010-01-28T03:31:19.358-08:002010-01-28T03:31:19.358-08:00Jack Molay,
I am a sexologist from Bangkok.
I was ...Jack Molay,<br />I am a sexologist from Bangkok.<br />I was reading online articles on effeminate males and masculine women.<br />This one was really enlightening.<br /><br />http://www.afterelton.com/people/2009/6/butch-it-up?page=0%2C0<br /><br /><br />I learnt that there are two genes necessary for a person to turn gay- a gay gene and a camp gene. Some possess only gay gene and are masculine gay men.Others have only the camp gene and are straight but effeminate men(the metrosexuals). Those with both gay and camp gene are effeminate men, though the degree of feminity varies across individuals.<br />This means that feminine gay men do love a feminine object inside them, but, that is not object is not a real female- but has traits of women. Sergio Garcia presents the typical case.<br />From this,I guess autogynephiles also have something like this camp gene but it is not just restricted to love of femininity, rather, it enforces a real woman inside. Also,they lack the gay gene which makes them not only heterosexual but also makes them love the female inside them.<br />So, I think autogynephilia is an extreme case of the androgyny of effeminate males. Do you find this valid,Jack Molah?Natalienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2472400923228993687.post-63562302833144152892010-01-28T01:08:27.418-08:002010-01-28T01:08:27.418-08:00To Joru,
GQ has some very good points.
Life can ...To Joru,<br /><br />GQ has some very good points.<br /><br />Life can be tough for all of us and one way of reducing the anxiety is to make safe groups of likeminded people who agree on what's right and what's wrong. <br /><br />We make all kinds of cliques for this purpose. In some groups and societies this tribalisation becomes extremely suppressive. <br /><br />The Taliban, the Soviet Communists and the Nazis come to mind. <br /><br />We see it in the school yard too. Kids desperately want to belong and is willing to give up their own identity to hang out with the right gang. They ruthlessly go down on those that apparently do not fit the recipe, partly to prove to the others of the group how cool they are and partly to get rid of some of their own fears and anxieties.<br /><br />If their parents share the same prejudices as the gang leaders, many kids are very likely to adapt them as their own. They even adapt the vocabulary: "sissy!" "faggot!"<br /><br /><br />It is possible to get around such prejudices. <br /><br />The South Africa of today is much less racist than the one under Apartheid. The Germans no longer hate the Brits (not much, anyway :-). Women are now accepted as equals with men in many countries. Even homosexual are integrated in many modern urban communities.<br /><br />It seems to me that the best way of building down such tensions is to build down the fences. Bring the conflict out in the open. <br /><br />It may not be impossible to change the hate mongers, the bullies and the nazis, but you may get their prejudiced followers to learn to know the people they are persecuting. <br /><br />It helps to make them see that the "freaks" are people like they are, just a little bit different.Jack Molayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03629363646482611722noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2472400923228993687.post-54354239056864172382010-01-27T09:32:42.600-08:002010-01-27T09:32:42.600-08:00Joru,
I can think of a couple reasons.
One reaso...Joru,<br /><br />I can think of a couple reasons.<br /><br />One reason to label someone a "freak" is in order to pressure them to conform to someone's expectations of normalcy. We are effectively discouraging behavior that upsets us.<br /><br />Another reason is that by putting a label on someone we effectively put them out of our minds. If I am a manly man showering next to this effeminate man and I tend to subconsciouly think female every time I see them, I might get uncomfortable. Better to push them into a different label and move the discomfort onto their person.<br /><br />Third, people are animals and animals like to remove aberrations from the breeding pool so they can't reproduce. Some mothers even kill their aberrant youth.. Very sweet, don't you think? But we are above this, right?GenderQuestioninghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07966407055595576955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2472400923228993687.post-12748093155632386112010-01-27T07:44:27.510-08:002010-01-27T07:44:27.510-08:00Jack,
Why are people who have atypical traits ridi...Jack,<br />Why are people who have atypical traits ridiculd by other people and society? Don't people get that nobody wants to be deliberately a "freak"? Don't they understand that some internal defect causes such things?<br />Why is society unjust like this?Jorunoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2472400923228993687.post-22710076418281432042010-01-27T05:15:52.705-08:002010-01-27T05:15:52.705-08:00Kala,
I respect your words but I am pretty sure t...Kala,<br /><br />I respect your words but I am pretty sure that is not my path. My gender identity issues started young and I can't say that I ever really established a really solid "male" identity. So when you talk about confidence of myself as a boy, I just frankly don't understand. This has never been a confidence issue. I don't have any inferiority issues with men, at all.<br /><br />I think that dating and exploring sexuality is a good idea but I also think it would be pretty obvious that I have been on female hormones in the past and probably will in the future. So, I think I need to be careful. Still, I plan on doing some of this.<br /><br />Part of my issue is just being treated fundamentally as who I am :) I don't want to have to act like someone else for a job or for love or for.. Do you get the point? I grew up being ashamed of who I am. I just want to be normal and not have to feel that. <br /><br />Every day, I have to throw on clothes that are not me because the things I want to wear would get me fired and keep myself from saying so many things. I do not like a life of compromised freedom. I am a chained songbird.<br /><br />I know that we all must make compromises but there must come a point at which we must defend ourselves as sacred :) Understanding oneself is always a good step :)GenderQuestioninghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07966407055595576955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2472400923228993687.post-54216609590657340512010-01-27T01:44:28.188-08:002010-01-27T01:44:28.188-08:00GenderQuestioning,
What I intend to say is that so...GenderQuestioning,<br />What I intend to say is that sometimes your sexuality may be an issue of gender problem too, I have experieneced it myself.<br />When i was younger and all guys around me used to hang around and flirt with girls while I needed desperately romance from a guy,I started developing intense dysphoria and longed to be a girl. I started feeling that in this world full of heterosexuals,it would be difficult for me to carry on as a male. I began to envy girls and wanted to be as feminine as possible. I even once thought of the option of SRS just because living life like a straight guy among other guys was becoming increasingly difficult.<br />But, then, I entered into friendships with many gay men and once I found I was desirable by other guys even as a guy, I started loving my male side once again and today I am just a good doing gay male.<br />As you say, you are unhappy with your body image and your unmanliness. Just have a healthy interaction with a good and gentle guy who rebuilds your confidence as a boy and see if your dysphoria goes away. I am not saying this is the case with you, but just that it might be a possible reason for your unhappiness.Kalanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2472400923228993687.post-80908545068377878702010-01-26T16:16:25.854-08:002010-01-26T16:16:25.854-08:00Robs,
The hormones transsexuals go on do not alwa...Robs,<br /><br />The hormones transsexuals go on do not always destroy the sex drive. This happens for some but there are many Ts who are orgasmic.<br /><br />I suspect what happens is to some degree biologicaly determined but I don't know for certain.<br /><br />Some people actually have better sex drives afterwards. <br /><br />In any case, ensuring proper HRT is essential if you do decide to transition preferrably under a doctor.GenderQuestioninghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07966407055595576955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2472400923228993687.post-65069606617907548792010-01-26T13:16:17.963-08:002010-01-26T13:16:17.963-08:00Jack,
I would suggest that Anonymous lives his lif...Jack,<br />I would suggest that Anonymous lives his life as feminine gay male and that's really the best option.And I dont see why he is anything beyond a gay male either because gay males also to some extent have this complaint of being in wrong body but their issue is just different- it's about sex only and not gender.<br />From what I have read in many forums, I suspect there are few men on the gay spectrum too who think of transitioning not becasue they feel they are female but rather to end up all confusion and have a happy sex life. <br />But I think,there is another misconception here. Once one becomes woman, the very sexual drives he was enjoying go away as these drives though misplaced, were manly caused by testosterone kicks.<br />And once the sexual drive goes away, the desire to live life as woman also goes and there have hence been several cases of post op MTFs opting to transition back to male!! <br />But I think this should be a caution for us, the AGPs as well. Will they enjoy the drive of living as woman once the sex drive dies out post SRS?<br />And if sex is really a vital part of pleasure, it's better to enjoy that in whatever form as man to avoid prolonged depressions.Robsnoreply@blogger.com