tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2472400923228993687.post773185629141200486..comments2024-03-26T16:19:11.382-07:00Comments on Crossdreamers: No, this blog is not telling transgender people that they should not transitionSally Molayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02015510914816971645noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2472400923228993687.post-29088090526482243132019-10-18T17:49:42.573-07:002019-10-18T17:49:42.573-07:00Thanks. I've been struggling a bit with my tho...Thanks. I've been struggling a bit with my thoughts but your two comments really resonated with me. I'm not happy as a man, but resigned to it if necessary.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2472400923228993687.post-73592697371787696162019-01-18T06:41:51.022-08:002019-01-18T06:41:51.022-08:00Emma, thank you for saying "being transgender...Emma, thank you for saying "being transgender is wonderful and something I'm rather proud of!" This needed to be said by someone. If we think of being transgender as a gift instead of a burden or a curse it changes the whole dynamic of how we deal with it. The gift is our ability to identify with and experience our femininity. There are many burdens associated with the gift. One of these is not being able to outwardly express ourselves as who we actually are.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2472400923228993687.post-33525971124892694942018-06-09T06:29:06.218-07:002018-06-09T06:29:06.218-07:00I agree. That difference is incredible subtle, tho...I agree. That difference is incredible subtle, though; I would add a third alternative, even subtler than that, which is 'resignation at being a male' (or <em>remaining</em> in the male role gender). This is not an 'acceptance', strictly speaking, but rather a form of denial and escapism that provides some mental stability (but which often doesn't...) in order to deal with the lack of contentment in being a male...Sandra M. Lopeshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00008119198361090865noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2472400923228993687.post-63531612688225145782018-05-24T13:16:43.672-07:002018-05-24T13:16:43.672-07:00As a long time follower of the blog (although one ...As a long time follower of the blog (although one who hasn't been around much since I decided to transition), one thing I keep seeing in a lot of people asking, "Am I trans?" question is:<br /><br />"I don't have dysphoria. I'm okay with being a guy."<br /><br />When, they're not really. Humans are very good at adapting their beliefs especially when they don't view any way to get out of their situation.<br /><br />"I can't transition, so I'm okay with being a guy".<br /><br />I never realized what transitioning could DO. I mean, "Yes, I would LOVE to be a woman, but I'm not trans. Those other people are, they're so lucky." <br /><br />I didn't realize that even just HRT could possibly do so much to change your appearance. Although YMMV, you've got a good chance of not looking like a guy in a dress.<br /><br />So people (and me) convince themselves that they're okay with just being a guy.<br /><br />When they really aren't. <br /><br />There's a difference between being content with being a male, and accepting you're being a male. <br /><br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2472400923228993687.post-3058516718269308122018-05-08T05:56:55.041-07:002018-05-08T05:56:55.041-07:00There was nothing offensive about your comments. T...There was nothing offensive about your comments. They were to the point and you raised a very interesting question: Why stay in a community with selected trolls? And who should stay if any. My general rule is that you should not expose yourself to such attacks unless there is a fairs chance that responding will help others (and if you have the mental health to take it). I rarely go into such discussions with the hope of making the trolls understand.Jack Molayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03629363646482611722noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2472400923228993687.post-3609101216521509102018-05-07T21:27:51.852-07:002018-05-07T21:27:51.852-07:00Jack: I agree, I wouldn’t post in places where I e...Jack: I agree, I wouldn’t post in places where I experience or see a high risk of such attacks. I just don’t have patience with such people. I don’t actually read, follow, or use reddit. My comments were, I hoped, thoughtful and engaging. In hindsight though I now hope they weren’t offensive in any way. If so I sincerely apologize.Emma Grayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10531144162442571276noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2472400923228993687.post-44501731078919435522018-05-07T00:14:36.624-07:002018-05-07T00:14:36.624-07:00@F
I understand the need for alternative narrativ...@F<br /><br />I understand the need for alternative narratives, and since r/transgender is often the first subreddit transgender and gender questioning people go to, it is important that ideas like "crossdressers are just fetishists" are not reinforced. <br /><br />There are, fortunately, also a lot of sensible and compassionate people over at r/transgender, so in many cases this will turn out right. <br /><br />(So, I guess, that partly answers your question, Emma: Why engage in this subreddit at all, if you risk these kind of attacks.)<br /><br />I have heard a lot of people say the same as you, however. Some have even established an alternative r/transspace subreddit as a more open and tolerant safe space.Jack Molayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03629363646482611722noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2472400923228993687.post-32004960044308542262018-05-04T23:12:58.234-07:002018-05-04T23:12:58.234-07:00Hi F,
I’m scratching my head here. I understand n...Hi F,<br /><br />I’m scratching my head here. I understand not feeling comfortable with people found at r/transgender (I assume Reddit?) and, even, a wish to provide an alternative voice of reason. But at some point (like, now!) if it just isn’t the right place to be, why not just leave? You’re staying there reminds me of the humorous yet ironic “definition of insanity”: repeating the same thing hoping for a different result.<br /><br />And, seeing yourself as transgender (technically?)... I do understand being uncomfortable and worried about that. Oh, and then feeling a need to label myself within the trans umbrella. It helps me to continue pushing and expanding my gender boundaries, observing how I feel within, and with repetition and exploration learning that my being transgender is wonderful and something I’m rather proud of!Emma Grayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10531144162442571276noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2472400923228993687.post-31360497326752252222018-05-03T23:37:54.133-07:002018-05-03T23:37:54.133-07:00Hi Jack, F here.
I often post on r/transgender be...Hi Jack, F here.<br /><br />I often post on r/transgender because I think the place is in desperate need of some alternative narratives. However, I now have a protocol where I never read the replies because I just found them so awful and nasty. To be honest, it's the sort of attitude that has made me run a mile from the word/community/vibe of 'transgender'. Technically I see myself as transgender...but I associate it too much now with the sort of people who inhabit r/transgender. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2472400923228993687.post-79943982981427261712018-04-25T06:01:08.592-07:002018-04-25T06:01:08.592-07:00Well said, Joanna.Well said, Joanna.Emma Grayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10531144162442571276noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2472400923228993687.post-43692332558677396912018-04-25T03:43:35.521-07:002018-04-25T03:43:35.521-07:00you have always been very clear here and have supp...you have always been very clear here and have supported everyone whether they transition or not. Some of us are full fledged or borderline transsexuals but many who come here are not and I do not recall you ever putting down the idea of transition. On the contrary, you have instead explored all facets and options for those who might be wondering what to do. It is an honest discussion unlike many other sites that sweep things under the rug. You keep doing what you do Mr Molayjoanna Santoshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16722222181799879120noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2472400923228993687.post-87452613755350090372018-04-25T02:18:23.200-07:002018-04-25T02:18:23.200-07:00Jack, for anyone to say, blame, or argue that your...Jack, for anyone to say, blame, or argue that your blog or any similar site “caused” them to do much of anything is preposterous. I suspect that these people, in their search for rationalizing their behavior and decisions cast their net in your direction and, well, here you are, evidently taking this seriously enough to write a long response as well as a blog post. If it were me I think I’d give them a sentence or two and call it a day.<br /><br />But this does give me an opportunity to talk about where I feel crossdreamers are in the mix, so to speak. Just my opinion so please take it advisedly. To be transgender is to be under the “umbrella” with some gender dysphoria, where each individual attempts to determine what they need and can do to mitigate those feelings and live their lives. I think all trans people are or have been crossdreamers. I certainly started off that way in early childhood and even today as a transitioned trans woman I have many such dreams. <br /><br />To each his or her or their own. Everyone’s mileage varies as they grasp at determining what they need and can do about their gender dysphoria. To blame you or anyone else is silly.. Emma Grayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10531144162442571276noreply@blogger.com