Finding Authenticity Within Gender Dynamics

For generations, rigid gender norms have forced people into predefined roles,  at considerable psychological cost to those whose identities or expressions did not fit. In spite of the current cultural and political backlash, those constraints have weakened in  parts of the world. Joanna Santos reflects on that shift, arguing that the challenge is to give people the freedom to discover who they are.

By Guest Writer Joanna Santos

From the moment we are born we are slotted. For millennia we were taught (with rare exceptions) how to behave, dress, gesture and play without being given much choice. This is largely still true today despite the cultural progress we have made over the last few decades. 

Photo: The Gender Spectrum Collection, Alyza Enriques

Conditioning children

We inflicted rules on children rather than respect their inclinations because society ran on preset expectations rather than on basic rationality. The comfort of high predictability was preferred with most people acquiescing rather than honour instincts which would have led them in other directions. 

The enforcement of these rules were particularly harsh on children who were born different. The gap between their authenticity and the imposed regulations was then left to fester and remain an unfulfilled wish which, in some cases, deeply impacted the psychology into adolescence. 

It is what we eventually defined in the early 20th century as "transsexualism" (which eventually became generally known as suffering from intense gender dysphoria); a condition whose worst suffering lay in the suppression of natural instinct. 

The natural mosaic which is humanity allows for the development of beings which are the product of a combination of many factors. In the parts of the world governed mostly by open minded and compassionate people we have wisely decided not to stifle their authentic selves. This despite their journeys butting head first into conventions that instill fear in society's ignorant. 

You need to read TJ Klune's anti-JK Rowling books about love, diversity and magic

In a world full of evil fascists, transphobic TERFs and religious fanatics comes the anti-JK Rowling books you have been waiting for,  books about love, diversity and personal growth.

It is when you are living in dark times like these that you need art that can give you meaning and hope. This is why I will use this opportunity to tell you about two books that have given me a psychological and spiritual injection of  compassion and optimism.

TJ Klune

Travis John Klune (or TJ Klune as he is known) has written several romantic fantasy novels. 

He is a gay and neurodiverse author who has some really profound insights into why some people become bigots who do everything in their power to control others. But he is also very good at describing how diversity and allowing people to be themselves can lead to personal growth and happiness.

The House in the Cerulean Sea, and the follow up Somewhere Beyond the Sea, are clearly targeting a young adult audience, but – believe me – the books have something for everyone, including a kind of humor those who have lived for some time will appreciate. 

The House in the Cerulean Sea presents Linus Baker, a caseworker for the Department in Charge of Magical Youth. He is the perfect by the book bureaucrat. 

He is often sent to orphanages for magical children to report on them, and even though he feels compassion for the kids, he does not really see how the system uses these orphanages to keep the magical children away from society at large.

Transgender kids do not regret transitioning

Remarkably few transgender kids regret transitioning socially, new research shows. 94 percent stick with their identity.

The youth desistance myth

Anti-transgender activists who attack health care for trans kids love to question the stability of the gender identities of children. The main message is that (1) the kids have no idea what they are talking about, (2) they are influenced by "the transgender cult" and misguided parents and (3) most of the children become cis (non-transgender) in the end.

This is all very strange, given the kind of harassment trans and queer youth face when coming out. If this was all a propaganda-fueled whim, why do their transgender identities persist over so many years? 

What about the research documenting that most of them become cis in the end? We hear numbers from 65 to 95 percent, right?  

Well, it turns out that those researchers did not study gender dysphoric transgender kids who identified as another gender (compared to the one assigned to them at birth). Instead they looked at kids who expressed any kind of gender variance (as in expressing untypical gendered behavior), which is obviously not the same.

More about that here and here.

As for trans kids following fashions or the transgender ideologies of parents: We have heard this before, right: "Gay parents raise gay kids!" Right wing extremists and leftist TERFs talk about "grooming." It doesn't work that way. Most gay and trans kids have cis/straight parents.  In fact, most parents of trans kids go through periods of denial and resistance.

New research shows that 94 percent stick with their trans identity

So the persistence and intensity of the gender identities of transgender kids are clearly based in something more stable and fundamental than transgender propaganda. But do we have the science to back that up?