On our post on people's interest in transgender erotic content

Earlier this month we posted an article on the increasing interest in transgender "erotic entertainment".

This triggered Blogspot (on which platform this blog is published) to add a warning screen regarding problematic content. 

We suspect Google, who owns Blogger,  is not able to distinguish between pornographic content and articles about such content.

We take no chances regarding out search engine rankings and have therefore moved the article to another platform. 

You can read the article here.

While you are here, we will use this opportunity to remind you of our social transgender news curation channels. Get a daily dose of up to date transgender news via one of these accounts: Follow: Twitter | Telegram | Flipboard | Mastodon

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On how to save a relationship

I have another email on love and relationships for you. agppartner ask for advice on how to save her relationship with a male to female crossdreamer.

Please do share your own thoughts on this matter!

This is what she writes:

"Hi Jack,

I write with sincere distress, as I really don't know what to do.

My parter and I started coping with his AGP [autogynephilia or male to female crossdreaming]  almost a year ago now. It has repeatedly almost destroyed our relationship and is a very tense subject to say the least. He has repeatedly lied, not only to me, but to himself, about the subject. And our sex life, even at its peak, is far from ideal. 

About 6 months ago, we came to the realization that he was addicted to AGP. We both agree that AGP is not an addiction, but, that, as is possible with any strong stimulus, he had become addicted to it.

We worked SO hard for months. We really focused on developing his masculine side and on finding ways to celebrate his masculinity. He lost 20 lbs and started to feel so much better about his body and to really own his sexual attractiveness as a man. Our sex life got better. Our relationship got stronger.

But, now, he has started lying again. Granted, its over rather small things, but it is the pattern that scares me. He set the rules and he agreed to talk with me about any gender-themed thoughts, fantasies or experiences that were a part of his life. Meanwhile, I find out that for the last "few months" shemales have been popping into his head in a sexual manner every other week and he as masturbated twice without telling me, which he had promised to do. He has also been looking at gendered porn, on occasion. Worst of all, the only way I found this out was by "policing" him (which I HATE, HATE, HATE to do, but my intuition was too strong to ignore). 

The transfan in popular culture

In my article on crossdreamers and the fascination for "shemales", crossdressers and transwomen, I looked into the psychology of what drives a transfan (also called a transsensual or a tranny chaser).

The phenomenon of men being attracted to transwomen is well known in popular culture.

Take a Walk on the Wild Side

The most well known is probably Lou Reed's Walk on the Wild Side, which presents the transwoman as a part of the wild nightlife.

It was on his 1972 album Transformer and was produced by David Bowie, another artist that explored the ambiguity of gender.

The lyrics tell the story about journeys made to to New York City by some of the celebrities connected to Andy Warhol's New York studio, The Factory: trans actress Holly Woodlawn, trans actress Candy Darling, Joe Dallesandro, Jackie Curtis and Joe Campbell (referred to in the song by his nickname Sugar Plum Fairy).

Admittedly the lyrics focus more on the transwoman than the transfan:

Holly came from Miami, F.L.A.
Hitch-hiked her way across the USA
Plucked her eyebrows on the way
Shaved her legs and then he was a she
She says, Hey babe
Take a walk on the wild side

The Kinks: Lola

Another well known song sees it all from the man's perspective. Whether he is a true transfan or not my be debated, but he certainly falls for Lola.

(There are some errors in the subtitles, but you will get the gist of it.)

In the book The Kinks: The Official Biography, Ray Davies says that he was inspired to write this song after the band manager Robert Wace had spent the night dancing with a "transvestite".

RuPaul's Tranny Chaser

As for modern lyrics looking at the fascination for the male to female, RuPaul is pretty explicit in the song Tranny Chaser. RuPaul is an American celebrity drag queen, actor and singer/songwriter.

I suspect RuPaul is androphilic, but she shows a clear understanding of the tranny chaser not being a gay man. She also underlines the idea that deep inside the tranny chaser identifies with the "tranny".

Every time you watch me... that don't make you gay
Do you wanna be me... that don't make you gay
Or do you wanna f@#& me... that don't make you gay
So the hunter got captured by the game
It ain't the first time a player got played
Won't be the last time you hear a t-girl say
You want it wet then you betta make it rain
What's the tee, girl? Tell me what's the tee?

(Yes, I know "tranny" is a derogatory term, but I guess RuPaul has earned the right to use it.)

4VAK3ZR8RHFS

On crossdreamers and the role of transgender pornography part 2

The discussion of the connection between crossdreaming and the fascination for trans women and crossdressers continues.

Read part 1 first!

Transgender pornography

In popular culture the readers of transgender porn are often depicted as love shy nerds and socially clumsy men. In the American TV series Dexter, for instance, the forensic lab tech Vince Masuka is a sex obsessed nerd with a strong interest in trans women.

(This has often been referred to as "shemale" porn. This transphobic term has now also been abandoned by the adult industry.)

This stereotype may have some ground in reality, as there are love shy men and crossdreamers who find it hard to cope socially (see my posts on the love-shy men of Gilmartin). I suspect their shyness is as much caused by their crossdreaming as it is the other way round.

Many crossdreamers do not fit this cliché, however, Generally I think the stereotype is based on the belief that "shemale" lovers are closeted gay men. This is an argument that is often used to establish a divide between "tainted" crossdreamers and "pure" trans women.

The industry is growing rapidly

Examiner.com had an interesting article on the subject last summer. Using data from Alexa, Google and Internet World Stats they found that nearly 190 million heterosexual men are attracted to transsexual women and actively seek romantic contact with or sexually explicit images of them annually. I believe these are world wide numbers, but if they used English language search terms, a significant number of transfans will have been excluded.

The article by Maddy Claire points out that:

"According to the latest Internet statistics, interest in 'transsexual' topics has risen more than 5,000 percent in the past five years, and interest in 'transsexual dating' has surged more than 400 percent. In the past 90 days alone, combined traffic from the top 10 adult sites and top 10 dating sites catering exclusively to trans-loving males has risen 350 percent."

No, I have not seen the methodology used to arrive at these figures, so we have to take them with a laaaaarge pinch of salt. But they can be taken as an indication of the interest in the topic. The increase is probably partly caused by a general increase in Internet traffic, and the fact that the transgender porn industry is growing so rapidly. For some adult entertainment companies transsexual titles are now apparently outselling all others. Transgender porn has become commonplace.

The customers are straight men

One representative of that industry argues that the majority of customers are straight men: " I don’t even bother to promote it to the gay market, because it would be a waste of money."

This confirms the theory that men interested in pre-op trans women are gynephiles and not homosexual men - at least not in any meaningful sense of the word. They move from traditional heterosexual pornography over to transgender pornography in hope of a resolution to their dilemma. They never move over to gay porn, as they have little or no interest in the male body per se.

This does not mean that all readers of transgender porn are necessarily crossdreamers. Given the variety of the human condition, there must be other explanations as well.

The active male

A strong argument against my theory so far, would be that the male is playing the active part in much of this erotica. If the viewer of such films identifies with the male, he is playing out the typical male copulation instinct, not the female's. Moreover, the trans women with a penis does not always plays the role of the dominatrix. She is more often casted in the role of the submissive woman.

This could mean that the viewer, who identifies with the active male, for some reason is fascinated by women with a penis. There could be many psychological explanations for such a fascination (see video below for one of them).

Again, I doubt very much that such a viewer would be a closeted gay man. Gay men are attracted to male bodies with all that entails: broad shoulders, square jaws, strong muscles, hairy chests etc. They are not looking for soft curves and breasts, and there are limits to what upbringing and suppression can do to your sex fantasies.

I am pretty sure there are "normal" heterosexual men who do get turned on by such a scenario, them playing the active manly role in the fantasy. However, it could also be that there are those that identify with the shemale in the movies, pictures and stories. In that scenario, they play the role of the feminized and emasculated man. Sure, she has a penis attached, but it is not used for any manly activity.

Given the masculine stereotypes of modern western culture, this fantasy represents degradation and a humiliation, as the man has been partly castrated (the limp penis) and given the role of a submissive woman (another stereotype based on a negative view of women). But for the crossdreamer it may stand for another resolution to the need for being the catcher instead of the pitcher.

Remember that we are talking about sexual fantasies here, not real life. Some research shows that some 50 percent of both men and women have fantasies of being raped by someone of the opposite sex. I doubt you will find any of them wanting to be raped in real life. The fact that such fantasies are common puts the rape fantasies of crossdreamers in a different light, though. It is the feminization aspect that makes them different, not the fantasies of being taken by force.

Men as props

The observant reader should now stop me, demanding an answer for a very embarrassing inconsistency in my discussion. I say that these trasngender porn customers are not gay , because they are not attracted to the male physique. In spite of this I argue that some MTF crossdreamers may fantasize of taking the role of a trans woman or crossdresser being taken by a male! Come on! This make no sense at all!

I readily admit that this is a dilemma. The autogynephilia reseacher Ray Blanchard's answer to the puzzle of gynephilic men fantasizing of being taken by men, is that these fantasy men are not real men at all, but masturbatory props, like dildos i guess -- only bigger.

These fantasies are not limited to transgender fantasies. The MTF transgender erotica I wrote about above is full of descriptions of crossdreamers having sex with men after been changed into a woman. Actually, this is the theme in most of the stories.

Blanchard, of course, uses this phenomenon to underpin that crossdreamers are autoerotic only. They are sexually attracted to the idea of themselves as a woman, not to any real person out there. The fact that the men in these fantasies are faceless and without personality proves that this is a paraphilia, according to him. When women fantasize about men these men are either people they know or some concrete acquaintance, movie star or sport's celebrity. The autogynephiliac does not care about such things.

You know, this is one of Blanchard's best arguments. It truly is, because the men in crossdreamer fantasies are often faceless, and I do think he is right when he says that these fantasy men are often -- but not always -- props. And I also think he is right when he argues that the men are faceless because these crossdreamers are gynephilic (woman-loving) and not androphilic (man-loving).

But you can easily explain this without arguing that the man has internalized his external love object, i.e. the real women out there.

First, remember that MTF crossdreamers are perfectly capable of loving others and also feel sexual desire for them. Nearly all of them fall in love, but with women.

But if their copulation instinct is female, a traditional western heterosexual relationship may not give them the sexual release they are looking for. The MTF crossdreamer can play the role of the penetrator, but is wired to be the penetree (- yeah, I just made that word up). The being-taken-by-a-faceless-man fantasies are a way of resolving this urge, as is the dominatrix with a strap-on fantasies and the dominant shemale fantasies.

The MTF crossdreamer longs to be at the receiving end when having sex, and in his/hers sexual fantasies he conjure up a faceless man to play the part of the man that makes him/her a complete woman.

And before you go: "OMG! That only proves that the crossdreamer is a sexual pervert and not a real woman at all!" please do stop and consider this: The desire for sex is an ubiquitous human trait. The reason modern women keep a dildo in their drawer is not because they need to massage their aching necks. An inner femininity may just as well express itself as a sexual urge as a need for knitting or child care. For most crossdressers, for instance, this sexual urge is part of a larger complex of deep felt dreams about being a woman.

Category breakdown

Now we are close to the reason for all the confusion. GB's call girl considered all passive men to be gay, even if they went to her, a woman. Blanchard is unable to make any sensible explanation for the origin of autogynephiliacs, because he -- like the prostitute -- needs to put them in one of two categories: heterosexual or homosexual. In his universe bisexuals and asexuals are put in the same box as the gynephilic, because there are only two ways of sexual attraction: same sex and opposite sex.

As I see it, the crossdreamers have actually much more in common with feminine gay men and androphilic transwoman than both Blanchard and most crossdressers would like to think.

I don't have enough information on gay men to make any sensible judgment on Blanchard and Bailey's claim that all gay men are feminine by origin, and by implication that they are all bottoms. But some of them are. And so are most of the crossdreamers.

In that sense the call-girl was right. She had sensed that there was something different about a male customer who wanted to bend over and... well. She had only one category for this: gay.
In a later post I will present a model that may help us get a grip on it all.

POSTSCRIPT: RAY BLANCHARD ON MEN WITH SEXUAL INTEREST IN TRANSVESTITES

I have not referred much to research on transfans in these posts, simply because I cannot find anything interesting. Blanchard has been co-author of a couple of articles. He knows how to sort complex observations into simple categories. However, as soon as he has classified what he sees, he loses interest. He may throw out a hypothesis or two, but never bothers to see if the hypothesis is right. This applies to the autogynephilia theory and it applies to his work on tranfans (the "gynantromorphilics").

In a study of men placing personal ads searching for crossdressers, transvestites, shemales and transsexuals, Blanchard found that a majority of the men placing ads were not crossdressers themselves. How he was able to make this observation, I do not know, as the ads does not include such information, but he uses it as a basis for saying that these gynantromorphilics represents a separate erotic interest from the one of crossdressers. I doubt it.

Blanchard refers to research done by Money and Lamacz, who indicate that there may be a difference between an interest in crossdressers and an interest in what they call gynemimetics (androphilic transgenderists, i.e. transwomen who keep their penis). A gynemimetiphiliac is a man who falls in love with a gynemimetic (Help! Someone has to tell them to make more catchy labels!) . Blanchard concludes that although different transfans may be attracted to different types of transpeople, it makes sense to have one term to use for them all. That makes sense to me as well.

Here's the alternative approach to the transfan phenomenon, presented by YouTube vlogger Trannygirl15:



Click here for a discussion on this video.

See also discussion over at Tevolve: Men who date trans women

Ray Blanchard: The she-male phenomenon and the concept of partial autogynephilia Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, Volume 19, Issue 1 Spring 1993 , pages 69 - 76

Blanchard R, Collins PI: Men with sexual interest in transvestites, transsexuals, and she-males. J Nerv Ment Dis. 1993 Sep;181(9):570-5.

Some edits January 2023.

On crossdreamers and the role of transgender pornography part 1

Are men that feel attraction to transwomen and crossdressers really erotic crossdreamers (referred to as "autogynephiles" by some)? If so: Can this fascination give us insight into their transgender nature?

This is a blog that boldly goes where even the boldest of angels fear to tread, simply because I believe knowledge can set us free. You have to face your dragons and trolls if you are to reach the next level. This is also why I believe we have to go into the fantasy life of crossdreamers to find understand what makes us feel the way we do.

Several of you have asked me in comments and emails to look into the topic of "transfans"or "transsensuals", i.e. men who are attracted to MTF (male to female)  transsexuals or crossdressers. In this post I am going to see if that phenomenon can help us get a better understanding of crossdreamers in general.

Fantasy "shemales "are not real

"Shemnale" is a slur used to describe the role "pre-op" transgender women who take part in porn play in the fantasy lives of those who watch this kind of pornography. Now, let me make one thing perfectly clear: I do not believe that "shemales"  exist in the real world! I am willing to discuss the possibility, but when I write about them it is as fantasy objects of desire. 

In this way they are similar to the nymphomaniac blonde and buxom bimbo of some male fantasies, or the handsome knight in shining armor you find in some female fantasies. Even though some may choose to play the role of the Blonde Bimbo or Prince Charming, that does not make them real. Behind the cliché hides a complex human being.

The people playing the roles of "shemales"

The models playing the roles of "shemales" are pre-op trans women  in real life. In other words: In real life they are not "shemales", but complete human beings like you and me.

A pre-op trans woman is someone who was originally assigned male, who has a female gender identity and who longs to become a woman also in body. In order to play the role of a "shemale", this person will normally have had to undergo some hormone treatment, electrolysis and surgery, but for some reason she has not changed her male genitalia. If she is playing the role of a "shemale", in porn or as a call girl, this is probably because she has decided to keep it for business purposes. She may be saving money for the final operation, though.

An MTF (male to female) trans women lives as a member of the opposite sex either full time or part time, without having "bottom surgery". She may have had hormone treatments or other types of feminizing surgery, but she has, for some reason, decided to keep her original genitalia. Such trans women will often argue that it is not the genitalia that define her as a woman, or there may be other more practical reasons for her choosing this option (money, health etc.). 

I am also open to the idea that there might exist feminine gay men who transition for practical purposes, without feeling alienated from their male bodies. But I doubt anyone would go to the point of having their penis removed to achieve this objective. I have never met one, and it seems to me they are for the most part a mirage created by sexist sexologists.

Some trans women who are acting out the role of "shemales" avoid the use of hormones. Instead they use every other means available to feminize their bodies. The reason for this is that female hormones will weaken their ability to take the male role during intercourse. This does not necessarily mean that they all are feminine gay men. It could simply be a practical business decision, or you keep it for love. If you are a poor feminine tran sgirl from Bangkok or Rio, you take care of your assets. This can be a cold and cruel world, indeed.

Fairy tale figures

Let me get back on track: When I use the word "shemale" it is to depict a fantasy figure. Even though trolls and fairies do not exist in the physical world, they do exist in the realm of myths, dreams and fantasies. 

They have a psychological reality that needs to be understood -- a reality that tells us something about who we are -- and so do the fantasy "shemales".

Do crossdreamers dream of "shemales"?

Many -- if not most -- crossdreamers say that they do not dream about trans women with a penis. The reason I can say this with some certainty is that I have access to a rich database of crossdreamer fantasies. These fantasies are published on transgender erotica sites like Fictionmania.tv (as short stories), or as so called TG captions in forums and on blogs. TG captions are ultra short stories accompanying a photo or an image. Many of these "caps" are erotic fantasies. (For references, see TFCC).

If you read these stories (and yes, I have read a few), several patterns emerge, and I plan to explore them in some detail in later posts. As regards the topic of transsensualism I can say that although there are quite a few "shemale" fantasies out there, most of the stories found depict transformation into normal women.

In fact, a large number of crossdreamers posting on forums like Rachel's Haven explicitly say that they do not like stories with "shemales". This is mostly because they do not picture themselves becoming "shemales"; they dream about becoming full fledged women. But it is also because they feel no desire to interact with them.

However, some do admit to the fascination, and this is in itself interesting. There are feminization fantasies where the crossdreamer submits to a dominant transgender woman. This woman will feminize him by forcing him to act or dress as a woman, or he may be changed into a woman by surgical or magical means. These fantasies are very similar to the sissy and the dominatrix fantasies I have discussed before, the main difference being that the dominatrix in those fantasies is a natural born woman. In both cases, however, the crossdreamer submits sexually to the dominant woman.

What could make a crossdreamer dream about trans women with a penis? Is there anything in the life situation of a crossdreamer that would make this happen? Is there any mythological or psychological reasons for this admittedly strange phenomena?

I think there are, and I think that these explanations can throw some light upon the crossdreamer condition in general.

Alice and her admirers

Alice in Genderland is the only crossdresser autobiography I know of that doesn't hesitate to discuss the sexual motives of a crossdreamer. This alone makes it very valuable in a world where transgender fantasies are considered taboo among cisgendered and transgendered people alike.

Alice, AKA psychiatrist Richard J. Novic, has decided to live out her dream of being a woman, including dating and bedding men. She combines this outgoing life with living with a very tolerant wife. (See Alice in Genderland, A Crossdresser Comes of Age, NY 2009, and my interview with her). Note that Alice is not a transsexual. She also presents as a man.

Alice finds these men in clubs frequented by transgender people. The men approaching her are labelled as "admirers" by her. I guess the derogatory term is "tranny chasers". In the book she reports that she has asked them what makes them interested in a girl like her. Most of them end up with phrases like: "I'm turned on by women who've just got that little something extra." That is not much of an explanation, really.

One night she met "Darius", who confessed that although he was not a crossdresser, he did try it out at home once. "I was one big fat mama," he said. Alice soon found out that several of her admirers had tried crossdressing:

"With my illusions shattered, I now saw little difference between my all-man admirers and the ones at the bar dying to try on my stockings, give oral sex, and get fucked -- like I was when I met Prima back in Chicago [when Alice experienced being the bottom]. It all began to make sense. Deep inside every chaser beats the heart of a tranny."

The controversial use of terminology aside, what Alice says here is simply that most transfans are themselves somewhat transgendered.

Transgender prostitution

There is a group of pre-op transwomen and MTF transfeminine persons and trans women who work as call-girls. They often advertise their services as "shemales", "transsexuals" or "lady boys".

I have gotten several emails from crossdreamers who have approached such call girls. I have gotten permission to refer to one of them. Let us call him "GB". He is in his fifties and lives in London, UK.

GB tells med that at any given time there are more than 100 escorts of this kind in the Greater London Metropolitan Area. More than half of them are foreigners, often high class escorts that travel from country to country. According to him, many of them come from South-East Asia (especially from Thailand, Malaysia and Singapore) and from Latin-America (mainly from Brazil).

I have been unable to confirm these numbers. A cursory Google search confirms that there are quite a few of them advertising online, so he is probably not far off the mark.

The attraction

GB tells me that it was a deep and desperate emotional need that led him to approaching some of these call girls. And yes, that need was partly the desire to be the receiving part when having sexual intercourse, to allow himself to be the receiver instead of the manly male. 

He tells me that he feels no sexual attraction to the male body, although he wish he had, as being gay would have made his life so much easier. He loves women, though, and has even been married two times, but he find traditional love making unsatisfying. He tells me he feels forced to take an active role that is not his by nature.

He says that a majority of the transgender call girls in London actively advertise that they can take the passive as well as the active role. This clearly proves that they consider "submissive" men to be a market.

GB tells me that he learned a lot from meeting these girls, as many of them were outgoing, independent, talkative and with strong personalities. Many of them are also stunningly beautiful. I quote: "There is no way you can guess that these are not natural girls just by looking at them!"

In spite of this he stopped seeing them. This was partly a result of guilt:

"These women are in no way the drug addicted prostitutes you read about in the papers," he writes. "They are strong and independent business women. But they are prostitutes and I am not comfortable with supporting that kind of activity."

From what he tells me, however, there is another reason for him stopping seeing them as well, and that is that these women are not really into crossdreamers. They are attracted to active manly men, and only accommodate "bottoms" because of the money.

One of them told him that she loved straight men, and not gay men who wanted to take the passive role. She clearly mistook him for the active type. It is interesting to note that this trans woman classified crossdreamers as gay, in spite of the fact that they go to her -- a woman. This again confirms how language shapes the way we see the world.

The reason GB did not meet any gynephilic/lesbian escorts of this kind, is probably not a coincidence. It could simply be that woman-loving (gynephilic) transgendered women, pre-op or post-op, find the idea of having sex with men unattractive.

But even if Mr. GB had found one, this would not be a match made in heaven. Gynephilic trans women love women, not men. Moreover, they prefer to be the catcher, not the pitcher. If we are to believe Alice Novic GB is himself -- at least partly -- a gynephilic trans woman.

A better match for GB would be a female to male androphilic dominant transsexual or a FTM crossdreamer (the complexity of all this makes my head hurt!). They do exist but are relatively hard to track down. Besides, they want to look and act as men, and that is not necessarily what GB is looking for.

Crossdreamer vs. crossdreamer

GB said that the reason he went to shemale call-girls was to resolve the horrible dilemma of being attracted to girls, but at the same time longing to take the girl's role during intercourse. The shemale is a woman, but she has also the equipment needed to fulfill his desire for being the catcher.

Cloudy, herself an androphilic transwoman, made the following comment to my post Beyond the perversion:

"You [i.e. Jack] posed this question: 'Other autogynephilias "solve" this problem by imagining themselves penetrated by a woman with a strap-on or by a "shemale". There are a lot of "shemale" (pre-op transwomen) prostitutes out there that advertise the fact that they are "active". Maybe their customers are autogynephiliacs?' I can tell you from personal experience that yes, their customers are nearly all AGP [autogynephiliacs]. I've had friends who were 'working girls'... and I should point out, that in their personal love lives, they were not "active", but bottoms. But gynandromorphophilic [transfans] men will pay more than straight men, because of the relative rareness of an HSTS [man-loving trans woman] who will be "active". (I sure as heckfire wouldn't!) (...) On the other hand, AGPs are so commonly into 'she-males', that two reasonable passing AGPs meet, they often become lovers, both pre- and post-... BTW... many of these relationships get counted by the researcers as evidence of being attracted to men ! Note, that such is not the same as being attracted to non-AGP, straight, masculine men. Rather, it is the ability to map the process of AGP mediated desire for feminization of themselves onto their partner, to essentially map the internal AGP to the external AGP !!! To outsiders, this may sound strange, but it is actually quite common in the AGP trans-community."

I don't buy Cloudy's explanation for why some crossdreamers end up in relationships with other crossdreamers. But it certainly makes sense for them to do so. Not only do they get a soul mate who understands what they have been through and accepts their desires. They also get a female partner who is willing to play the active part when needed. If they are both post-op I guess they can make use of one of the many sex toys available.

In this sense they would not be too different from a gay or lesbian couple where both are bottoms. With love and understanding they should be able to develop a sex life where they take turns playing the active and the passive role.

In part 2 I will look at the growing transgender porn industry. The amount of such material may indicate that the number of transgender people has been seriously underestimated!

Minor edits January 2023.

Crossdreamer Summer Break

I had great plans about publishing the first post in a new series on the archetypes and dreams of feminization, but I must admit that there is not enough time this side of the summer.

I pride myself in writing blog posts based on research and thorough analysis and that takes time. So instead of beating myself up with not being able to go on as planned, I am going to take a small summer vacation. I'll be back with new posts in the second part of July at the very latest.

In the meantime, I'll try and keep up with the comments.

I have to be frank with you: Writing this blog takes it toll. It may seem academic and intellectual to some of you, but I am constantly challenging my own being and my own self understanding, and that stirs up all kinds of feelings: longing and depression, excitement and despair. This never gets boring, that's for sure!

This is why I am so glad to have active readers commenting and contributing to the discussion. That helps me a lot!

Here are my plans for the fall. If there are any other topics you would like for me to look into, add a comment!

Archetypes and feminization fantasies

Far too often the feminization fantasies of crossdreamers are dismissed as mere fetishes or perversions. Few try to explain why crossdreamers (or "autogynephiliacs" as Blanchards calls men who dream about having a woman's body) have exactly these kinds of fantasies.

I feel great admiration for Carl Gustav Jung and his explorations of the human subconscious, and I believe he has a model and a typology that might help us understand why crossdreamers crossdream the way they do.

I believe the content of these fantasies is the way the subconscious is trying to make sense out of deeper instincts and drives. It is time for an exploration of transgender dreams and archetypes, as they are found in TG fiction, myths and fairytales.

What genetic XX women dream about

The easy dismissal of crossdreamer fantasies as male perversions, is often based on the idea that XX women do not have similar fantasies. Here is the idea -- even half a century after Kinsey and 100 years after Freud -- that women are pure and untainted of kinky erotic fantasies. Some transwomen have adapted this point of view and use it to attack crossdreamers and crossdressers: "Real women do not have such dreams!"

So what did I do? I bought several books with women's erotica: sexual fantasies written by XX women for other women.

I had a pretty good idea that there would be some overlap between these fantasies and the ones found in TG short stories and caps. The fact is that I found that all the major themes found in women's erotica can be found in the fantasies of crossdreamers. All of them!

It is true that most women do not get turned on by transformation fantasies, but then again, they already have the bodies M2F crossdreamers long for.

The quest for the holy grail of femininity

One of the most disturbing part of the online transdebates, is the idea that only transwomen who look and act like feminine women are really worthy of the term "woman".

Some transwomen attack other transwomen by publishing pictures of them online, "proving" once and for all that this person neither looks nor dresses like a woman, and should therefore not be accepted as such.

The fact that many crossdreamers strongly feel and believe that at least parts of them are woman-like, is dismissed with similar arguments. They neither look nor act like women. Whatever they feel inside is irrelevant. They are, at best, men in drag.

I want to look into this idea of passing as a sign of true womanhood, and see if it make as much sense as its proponents believe.

A possible new explanation for autogynephilia

I plan to go back to Blanchard and Bailey and look at their explanation for autogynephilia or crossdreaming.

Blanchard has two unproven theories: the target location error theory (where men internalize the proper love object: women), and the alternative sexuality theory (autogynephilia as a parallel to heterosexuality and homosexuality).

As an experiment I am going to take crossdreamers and transwomen at their word. I am going to see if some kind of true inner "womanness" can explain Blanchard and Bailey's findings. In short: I will see if there is a simpler and more elegant model that can explain the same observations.

How other cultures integrate transpeople

I know I promised you this last fall, but I am going to write about how other cultures treat transpeople. I believe we take far too much for granted as regards our understanding of what is masculine and feminine, and what is the proper behavior of the two genders.

If we can find cultures who have treated transpeople differently, we have also proven that the present rules for proper behavior are not self evident.

I am going to make several approaches:

The first one is to look at pre-patriarchal society. That is a fancy word for the cultural environment found in the Middle East and Europe some five to six thousands years ago, before warriors from Central Asia invaded the area and introduced religions with male war gods at the top. Before that time, religious and culture life was dominated by the mother goddess.

She might not have been as peace loving as some feminists believe, but it is certainly true that cultures like the Minoan one had the deepest respect for women and their role in society. The focus on growth instead of war made a huge difference in the way they understood and appreciated the feminine.

Even after the goddess was dethroned as the leading deity she lived on as a strong player in Sumeria, Egypt, Greece and Rome. I will take a look at the cult of Inanna in Sumeria and the cult of Cybele in Rome. The priestesses of both cults were transwomen. I am also looking into the cult of Dionysus, which also have transgender component.

Given that the cult of the goddess grew out of shamanistic cultures, it will also make sense to see how recent hunter and gatherer cultures look at gender. Shamans ("witchdoctors") in many of these cultures crossed the gender divide, and several of the Native American tribes respected the "two spirited".

I may also look into European renaissance philosophy and see how they integrated the masculine and the feminine in their way of thinking.

Dreaming of shemales

Shemale is a derogatory term given by the porn industry to transgenderists and pre op transwomen, i.e. transwomen who for some reason or the other have kept their penis.

I am not going to go into the debate on whether it is OK for transwomen to keep some of their male parts. (As far as I am concerned they should be allowed to do whatever they please). I do not think shemales exist in real life, even if some of these transwomen are willing to play the part, in adult entertainment or as call girls.

No, what I plan to do is to look at shemales as an object of transgender erotic fantasies. Even if there are no shemales in real life, they do exist in transgender dreams and art. If we can explain why some biological men dream about such women, we might get closer to explanation of what crossdreaming is all about.

Harry Benjamin

I have reread Harry Benjamin's book from 1966: The Transsexual Phenomenon, a book that is still very influential and well worth a study. He continues to serve as an alternative to Blanchard and Bailey and their explanation for autogynephilia.

I must admit, though, that one of the reasons I went back to Benjamin, was a meeting with the "Harry Benjamin Syndrome", a theory invented by some extremist transwomen who desperately try to put some distance between themselves and people who are more likely to read this blog. They claim that Benjamin argued there was a fundamental difference between transwomen and "fetishistic" crossdressers, and that the two groups have nothing in common.

Benjamin definitely meant there was a difference, but not a fundamental one. Instead he argued very much in the way I have been doing: That there is some kind of continuum and that the two phenomena are related.

As you can understand I stick to my program of controversial openness. We have to talk about these things if we are to understand them and learn to accept and love ourselves and others.

For those on the Northern Hemisphere: Have a great summer! And to all you southerners in Latin America, Africa, South Asia and Oceania: have a great whatever you do!