April 20, 2013

The Transmasculine Women of Ancient Baghdad

Shereen El Feki's fascinating glimpse into the sex life of the Arab World, Sex and the Citadel, includes the  amazing story about female to male crossdreamers in ninth century Baghdad.

Some of the Jasmines of ancient Baghdad
preferred the life of Aladdin (Image: Disney)
As the story has it, the wife of Sultan Harun al-Rashid, Zubayda, was starting to get worried about their son, al-Amin.

My sources are divided as regards his sexuality. Feki argues he was attracted to men, while the Wikipedia article refers to his fascination for castrated  eunuchs. Regardless: There would clearly be no heir from the heir to this throne.

Al-Amin and his transmasculine girls

But Zubayda was a resourceful woman. She dressed up some of the slave girls up as boys and cut their hair, in the hope that they would attract the attention of their son.

This  seemed to have worked. Al-Amin's favorite boyish slave girl was 'Arib, famous for her beauty and her intelligence -- a singer, poet, chess player and excellent horsewoman.

The story may perfectly well be true. If al-Amin was attracted to eunuchs, he would be what we today call gender queer rather than homosexual, probably with some kind of trans-fascination. If that was indeed the case, an interest in girls taking over the role as boys would not be out of the question.

Be that as it may, to me story sound a little bit like an after-rationalization -- an attempt by non-transgender people to explain the unexplainable: the ghulamiyyat of ancient Baghdad.

There is no doubt in my mind that many of these girls were indeed what I call female to male crossdreamers, and some shade of trans in the wide umbrella sense of that word.

The gulamiyyat

This is what El  Feki says about them:

"In ninth-century Baghdad, the hottest girls on the streets looked like boys. These were the ghulamiyyat -- a feminine derivative of the Arabic word for a young man.

"These women were a curious combination of male and female. The ghulamiyat dressed like men, yet wore makeup. While they plucked their eyebrows and painted their lips, they also drew on mustaches in musk. 


April 1, 2013

The love life of non-transsexual crossdreamers -- getting real

More and more crossdreamers are able to establish loving relationships with partners who accept their other side. Are we facing some kind of positive cultural shift?

I see from some of the emails I get, that some of my readers believe that I believe that all crossdreamers are transsexual. This is probably because I do write a lot about transsexual crossdreamers on this blog.
MTF crossdresser, photo: Olga Ekaterincheva

There are good reasons for this. 

Firstly, transsexual crossdreamers face challenges that deserves our attention, for their own sake. 

Secondly, I do not believe there is a clear cut divide between transsexual and non-transsexual crossdreamers. Non-transsexual crossdreamers can therefore learn something about themselves by listening to those that suffer from "gender dysphoria" or "gender incongruence," i.e. a complete mismatch between their inner sex identity and their bodies.

Most crossdreamers are not transsexual

That being said, it seems to me that many crossdreamers are not gender dysphoric. They are transgender (in the sense of belonging to a wide group of people challenging gender stereotypes), but not transsexual (in the sense of feeling that they are of the "opposite" sex).

Sure, quite a few of them may be deceiving themselves, using every trick in Psychiatry 101 to suppress their true identity. Still, it is also clear that many, if not most, crossdreamers are not gender dysphoric. This applies to both men and women.

Expressing the other side

These crossdreamers face different challenges than the transsexual ones. They need to find a way of including and expressing their crossdreams, while still identifying with their birth sex.

A male bodied crossdreamer who get aroused by the idea of being a woman, while still thinking of himself as a man, needs to find a way to express the other, feminine, side of his being.

March 5, 2013

On male to female crossdreamers and how to establish a romantic relationship

How do you establish a loving relationship to a woman if you are a male to female crossdreamer dreaming of being a woman?

There has been a lot of politics on this blog lately. That is necessary, I am afraid, given what people say and think about crossdreamers. But today we are going back to the basics: to the lived lives of crossdreamers. 

I will share an email I got from a reader with you and add my response. I think this is an exchange many male to female crossdreamers will find familiar as well as interesting. 

Do add your own comments!

The life of Josie


Josie from over at Crossdream Life sent me following story:

"I'm thankful to finally have a name attached to this conditon and know that there are others, but I still feel sometimes so confused and conflicted. I'm sure that in this community my story and my questions are common.

When I was a little kid I don't remember being one of those that insisted that I was a girl. To my recollection I was fine being a boy, but I was always 'soft'. I've always been passive and introverted. 


Iused to play with my sister and her dolls and saw nothing wrong with it but I did boys stuff too. I always liked to play sports but never excelled at it. I was always picked on by the alpha males in my school, especially in junior high, and I was never successful being a romantic interest for the girls. I was just too shy.

Dreaming of skirts


When I remember my AGP feelings starting to make themselves known was around puberty. The girls in my class started developing hips and breasts and I was thinking "That's pretty cool, I wish I had that too." By the time I was in high school I secretly wanted to be one of the girls. 

I went to a Catholic school with plaid skirts and I would fantasize about being one of the girls in those skirts. God bless those skirts! lol 


February 27, 2013

How radical feminists are using the autogynephilia theory to persecute trangender people

The new year started with a storm of radfem controversy. Radical feminists was again on the warpath using any weapon available to stigmatize trans women. And now they were using the autogynephilia theory to tell the world that transsexual women are not real women.

"Contrasted Faces" in Samuel R. Wells, New Physognomy, or Signs of
Character, Manifested through Temperament and External Forms (1871)
The drawings illustrates the superiority of the English race over the Irish.
Similar tactics are now used to stigmatize gynephilic trans women.
"Sticks and stones may break our bones, but words can never hurt you."

There are those who believe in this maxim.

There are also those who believe that any presumably "scientific" theory is objective and neutral and therefore removed from the messy and emotional thing called life.

In this context the "autogynephilia" theory of Ray Blanchard -- which argues that androphilic (men-loving) trans women are effeminate men , and gynephilic(woman-loving)  trans women are "paraphilic" heterosexual men -- cannot hurt you either.

WHAT IS PARAPHILIA? 

As many of the readers of this blog will know, Ray Blanchard believes all male bodies persons who get aroused by the idea of being the opposite sex are "autogynephiles", whether they are transsexual or not. 

This means that all male to female (MTF) crossdreamers are classified as "paraphilic". If the crossdreamer is bothered by this paraphilia, he/she is considered to be suffering from a psychiatric or mental disorder. 

Note that Blanchard defines paraphilia as "any intense and persistent sexual interest other than sexual interest in genital stimulation or preparatory fondling with phenotypically, consenting adult human partners." 

Basically this means that anyone who do not follow his personal understanding of correct homosexual or heterosexual love making is paraphilic.
Scientific bullying

Those who know the realities of school yard bullying know better, however. As do those who have read their history books know that "neutral", "disinterested" and "objective" studies have been used to systematically to confirm stereotypes and suppress marginalized groups, being those women, black people, Romani, Jews or homosexuals.

Members of these groups have been hospitalized, sterilized, lobotomized and gassed in the name of science.

The autogynephilia out of jail card 

I see that some of my fellow crossdreamers believe that this does not apply to them, or -- at least -- that it is possible, somehow, to stand outside this flow of history and establish some kind of safe haven where they can be what they are, without caring about what others think, say or do.

Since they are not transsexual they believe the autogynephilia narrative  may help them stay outside the fray.

Well, the radical feminists have now thoroughly debunked that illusion.

They are now actively using the autogynephilia theory to label all gynephilic male to female crossdreamers and transsexuals (called "heterosexual men" by Blanchard and the radfems) as homophobic and misogynistic perverts.

February 20, 2013

A young transsexual speaks out

There is a new generation of transsexuals out there. Many of them are young lesbian or bisexual transwomen, exactly the kind of transwomen Ray Blanchard called "autogynephiles".

Unfortunately for Blanchard the new generation does not live up to any of the sexist stereotypes of his theory.

They report early childhood memories of gender dysphoria. They transition young. And for those of you who find this important: They also look feminine.

All of this confirms what I have said for a long time: The reason gynephilic transwomen used to transition later than androphilic transwomen, was that they could not use the gay and lesbian culture for support and as a door opener.

Instead they have desperately clung to the identity of their birth sex, as this has seem to be the only way to find someone to love in particular and respect in general.

Thanks to the Internet this is changing. They now find the support of others facing the same challenges as themselves online.  There are also developing their own language and their own narratives to make sense of themselves.

This development goes hand in hand with a trend towards more tolerance in general, as reflected in the increasing number of countries and states accepting gay marriage and ending the pathologization of trans people.

Below find a video made by one of the many new transbloggers, namely Kristin, who blogs as casey4441 at YouTube, and who writes under the name of Krista444 over at Crossdream Life.

Notice how she has liberated herself from the traditional narratives of what it means to be trans. She stands firmly on her own two feet. God bless her!

You can see more of her vlog-posts over at her YouTube blog: Life of a Transgender Twin.

By the way, she is working on an ebook on transitioning. You can sign up to be notified when the book is ready here!

February 4, 2013

In Memory of Those We Lost

Suicide is the greatest threat crossdreamers face. What can we do about it?

Last summer there appeared a heart breaking post on one of the male to female transgender/crossdreamer caption blogs: Yvonne's Caption World.

The message read:

"My name is Mark. I am Yvonne's brother.

I am afraid I have to bring you the sad news that three weeks ago Yvonne decided to take her life

She left a note saying that she felt she could no longer go on living (in her words); 'in between two genders, dysfunctional in one and unable to become the other.'

She did not feel she had anyone to turn to. I wish she had given me a call."


Her site is full of captions and stories reflecting the dreams of a gender dysphoric crossdreamer. And yes, it seems obvious to me that Yvonne was a transsexual woman. In the upper right corner of her blog you will find a request for support for her transition.

Suicide among crossdreamers and transgender

We have actually no idea of how many crossdreamers take their life every year. The reason for this is that most crossdreamers are invisible, not only to health personnel  but often also to their loved ones. Often those left behind do not know what really caused their family member to chose this option.

We do have statistics for registered transgender, however, and I have reason to believe that great many of those registered as such are crossdreamers (transgender is here an umbrella term including a wide variety of gender variant people).


Discuss crossdreamer and transgender issues!