December 15, 2015

New Crossdreamer Ebook: A Creative Crossdreamer Vocabulary

New book explores the experience of gender variance through words and concepts.

My first ebook ever is now available for sale on Amazon.

A Creative Crossdreamer Vocabulary has its origin in a blog post series I wrote back in 2013. The idea was to find words that can help us feel, understand and express what crossdreaming and related forms of gender variance are about.

Words have power. They may limit us in our understanding, but they may also set us free from restrictive world views and invalidating narratives.

Good new concepts make us go: "Yes, that's it! That's how I feel. That's me. Now I get it." And we can then use those words to help others, who do not share our experience, understand. In other words: This book will also be useful for friends, family, teachers, researchers and others who relate to gender variant people.

Some of the words included in this book are already in use. Others are imaginary words, more meant for reflection than to be used in everyday speech.

Think of this book as a collection of mini-essays on crossdreaming and transgender.

You do not have to read them all in one setting. In fact, you do not have to read them in any particular order. But do read them!

You can buy the ebook now for US$ 2.50 over at (In some countries VAT might be added).

You don't need a Kindle tablet to read it. You can read it in a browser, or use the Kindle app for smart phones and tablets.

The paperback version is a bit more expensive I am afraid, as this is print on demand.


Or by the ebook from Amazon Australia | Canada | Brazil | Japan | Netherlands | Italy | Spain | France | Germany | United Kingdom

The words included are:

The Cistem 
Cultural Dissonance
Double Bind
Creative Crossdreaming
Dark Crossdreamers
Erotic Dissonance
Flash Flood
Forced feminization 
Gender Queer 
Girlfags and Guydykes 
Gynephilic and Androphilic 
Inner Closet 
Inner Gender 
Inner Woman/Inner Man 
Male Lesbian 
Masculinity and Femininity
Rage Against the Machine
Real Life Fantasies
Straight Gay
Top and Bottom 
Tucking and Chest Binding


  1. Congratulations :-) This 'dictionary' is really helpful — we get so easily lost and confused on the terminology, especially when trying to relate similar concepts where each author has employed a different word to express pretty much the same thing. It's very good to have a 'definition' for each term.

    Nice work! And thanks for doing it!

  2. Hi Jack,

    Your book is excellent, and provides much more than what the title implies. I like your writing voice too. I'm about 75% finished and plan on recommending it to my friends.

    One item stood out for me: Affirmation Level 3. I am not there but maybe in that direction, I hope. I wondered about you, and if you have thoughts on this. That would be a fascinating blog post.



  3. Thank you very much for your kind words, Emma! They mean a lot to me.

    To other readers: From the book:

    "A crossdreamer is affirmed when his or her crossdreaming is recognized. There are three levels of crossdreamer affirmation:

    Level 1: You realize that you are not the only one having such feelings. At this point any recognition might help, even if it by someone who invalidates you.

    Level 2: You meet people who accept you for who you are, and who do not try to discredit you as some kind of freak. You realize that you are just another tread in the multi colored tapestry of life, and that there are millions of crossdreamers out there: women and men, gay and straight, young and old.

    Level 3: You manage to affirm your own being and to love yourself as who you really are."

    I am working on Level 3 too. I am getting there, step by step, and that is mostly because I has been so thoroughly affirmed by my wife :) In other words: I think we have to focus more on our interactions with others. This is not something we can easily do in isolation.

    Yes, I might write a blog post on this.

    I believe Felix Conrad, over at, will discuss this in his next book, as well. I am really looking forward to that one.

  4. Oh, btw, I have a question... are you planning to offer the digital version of the book outside Amazon, in ePub format? Say, on either the Apple store or the Google store? (or any of the others). It's just that I don't own a Kindle, even though I'm aware that I can read the book using the Kindle app on most devices.

  5. Jack,

    This morning in the NYT I found this review of a new book titled "In the Mind Fields" which excited me as it tries to approach some parts of what we've been discussing. In the end I don't think I'll buy it. You'll see why in the review but the review, nonetheless, offers some further insights and is very interesting itself:


  6. Thank you, Emma, this one look interesting. I will take a look.

    Mark Solms is another researcher that has tried to unite neuroscience and psychoanalysis. There has even been talk about 'neuropsychoanalysis'.

    On a fundamental level modern neuroscience and psychonalysis agree on the most important factor: The subconscious is real, and does deeply influence the way we behave.

    Unfortunately psychoanalysis has been used to justify horrible homophobic and transphobic practices, but Iit seems we now aren getting a more openminded generation of Freudians.

  7. Solms' book "The Brain and the Inner World" looks very interesting, Jack, is that one you'd recommend? It has some excellent reviews on Amazon. I may have to get it for myself, for Christmas!

    Speaking of that, Merry Christmas to you and yours,


  8. Yes, "The Brain and the Inner World" is a good choice. Maybe a Christmas present to yourself?

    By the way, I have bought Mind Fields. It is a journalistic work, and it describes some very fascinating meetings with -- you guessed it -- Mark Solms.

    A Merry Christmas to you and yours, as well!

  9. How Do I know if I am transgender or a crossdreamer?

  10. As this is Jack's blog I hesitate to answer but I can't sleep just now so I hope he doesn't mind my barging in. You've asked a great question, here's my thoughts.

    I think a place to start is with vocabulary, and Jack's book is very good. I suggest you get it as you'll not only learn about the terms crossdresner a day transgender, but also others that are very helpful. Gratefully, he provides a lot of context with the definitions, which may help you determine an answer to your question.

    But, more than vocabulary, determining where one is on the transgender spectrum is a voyage of discovery. It takes, I believe, a fair amount of exploration, consideration, and experience to find yourself. Keep an open mind, read and join groups like Jack's that you feel comfortable at home with, and over time you'll disoviver your own truths.

  11. @Sandra,

    I have actually an epub file of the book ready, but haven't gotten around to publishing it on iBooks yet. That is the plan, though.


    Emma describes gender variance as a spectrum, and this a voyage of discovery, which simply means that there is no simple litmus test to decide what you truly are.

    I use the term transgender term in the way it has been used since the early 1990s, as a term for all types of gender variance. Following that definition most, if not all crossdreamers are transgender, in the sense that we do not follow the traditional rules of the binary.

    But that is not what you are asking. You wonder whether you are transsexual. If you are assigned male at birth, you wonder if you are a woman at heart.

    You are the only one who knows -- or will know -- the answer to that question.

    But keep in mind that being a crossdreamer vs being a transsexual woman is not an either/or issue. Many transsexual women, before they transition, crossdream, in the sense of having fantasies of being their target sex. This also applies to erotic fantasies. How are they to imagine themselves having sex unless it is as their target sex.

    Some say that the fact that you ask the question is proof enough of you being transgender. If you are truly cis (non-transgender) you won't have to question your gender identity. But there are many shades of gender, so being transgender does not necessarily mean that you are transsexual or that you should transition. You have to find out for yourself.

    Talking to others about this will normally help. Find an open-minded therapist if you struggle with gender dysphoria. Write, draw, or find some other way to give shape to what you feel. Or you can discuss this with other crossdreamers over at Crossdream Life.

  12. thanks i responded on the forum in full


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