February 27, 2023

Interesting discussions about gender, sex and transgender lives from the Crossdream Life Forum

Selected discussions on gender variance and being various shades of trans from the Crossdream Life forum.

I have had the honor of being  co-funder and moderator of Crossdream Life, a discussion forum for all kinds of gender variance. There are a lot of insightful, clever and compassionate people over there.

I will use this post to draw your attention to some selected threads that bring up new and interesting perspectives on the many variations of transgender, nonbinary and queer existence, as well as on what we might call cigender gender variance.

Keep in mind that me linking to these discussions here is not an endorsement of everything that is said. This is the point of having a discussion forum like this: That members can, within reasonable limits, present ideas out of the ordinary.

A Transgender Typology and Unification Theory

Koloa has presented a very interesting alternative approach to talk about trangender identities and lives that avoid the kind of pathologization we find in many other models.

Are we just protecting cis people and the binary again?

A discussion about the gender binary, gender identity and gender expression.

Jemimah, the transgender Hemingway and more

A complex and multifaceted discussion about sex and gender, which also includes information about the transgender side of Ernest Hemingway.

A kind of Matrix reset, about Lana Wachowski and the latest Matrix movie

On the queer and transgender subtext of the Matrix movies.

Lana and Lilly Wachowski, the trans sisters behind the Matrix movies

When MTF crossdressers/crossdreamers have sex with men

Talking about MTF crossdressers and crossdreamers as a separate category of trans is misleading. But given that so many are locked into rather limited typologies, as given  the life experience of some MTF trans people who are predominantly attracted to women, looking at the attraction to men makes sense.

"Sissy" Fetishism & Repression

I, for one find the "sissy" concept very problematic, and offensive even. But there is a subgroup of gender variant people who identify this way. Moreover, fantasies of submission and feminization is found among some MTF crossdreamers and trans women.

See also the debate around Julia Serano on "sissy-shaming"

Ever feel like being outed would be a relief?

 "If you were outed to the world by accident or by someone...after the initial shock and everything would it feel like a relief? "

The Battle over Gender Therapy

On the battle over gender therapy, anti-trans activism and the medical establishment.

In Defense of the Sex Binary

A rather intense discussion about the sex binary. Needless to say, not all participants like it.

Do I want to be her or do I want to f*ck her?

This is a question that pops up both in cis lesbian and bisexual circles and among MTF crossdreamers and trans women.

TANIT's priests - extreme femininity under the influence of a Female Entity

Discussion about transgender people throughout history.

"Autogynephilia" comes up as an issue again: thoughts?

Transphobes love the "autogynephilia" theory of Ray Blanchard, for the simple reason that Blanchard himself is a transphobe. The theory has been debunked, but that does not stop it from raising its ugly head.

Busting the Regret Myth

"I been seeing a lot of stories recently talking about people who detransition or who regret transitioning."

Hormones, powerful hormones

On what hormone therapy can do to your mind and body.

The difference between GD and BIID

On the difference between Gender Dysphoria (GD)  and Body Integrity Identity disorder (BIID)

What is crossdreaming?

This term is in the name of the forum, so it makes sense that members discuss crossdreaming (as in various cross-gender fantasies and longings and the expression of such).

Finding love as a transgender person

"There is, understandably, a lot of fear among crossdreamers and trans people regarding losing their loved ones if they come out. Many also fear that their gender variance will make it impossible for them to find love.

It is therefore important to stress that even though there are a lot of bad stories out there, there are also a lot of love stories that work out right."

Crossdreamer moments in movies and TV episodes

"Sometimes a movie or a TV episode will have a scene that has some crossgender angle to it. I am not talking about films about transgender people, like Transamerica or The Danish Girl, but other movies or series where one of the characters end up presenting as the other gender or become the other gender."

A perspective on autism and childhood gender struggles

Neuratypical people are more likely to be transgender than others. Why and what does this entail?

Illustration photo: Hispanolistic


  1. Jack I very much like the term "cisgender gender variance" since many self termed "crossdressers" would fit comfortably under that moniker. There isn't necessarily a gender incongruence present within them but rather a desire to express one side of themselves which why I prefer to use gender variance umbrella rather than trans umbrella in order to include them.

  2. Yepp, but it is impossible to draw a clear line between the two categories. Some move from one end of the spectrum to another as they learn to know themselves better.

  3. This is true and I have seen both cases overstate or understate their status. In the case of older people some remaining within the "crossdresser" label for fear there is something more to their gender variance.


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