August 12, 2012

I have had enough of the extremists

Lately there has been a lot of discussion about the real nature of crossdreaming on this blog.

There is particularly one aggressive activist who feel extremely offended by my suggestion that crossdreaming has a biological core. There are also others who take comfort in "the fact" that crossdreaming is "only a fetish".

Blank slate

The underlying premise seems to be that the very concept of a inborn "sex identity" is bogus.

We are facing another variant of "the blank slate" theory, which says that both sex and gender identity is nothing but a social construct, forced upon us through upbringing and social conditioning.

Jack in denial

The fact that I think otherwise must therefore be caused by some kind of denial on my side. According to these people I cannot stomach the idea of being a fetishist and therefore construct a fantasy where male to female crossdreamers have an inner woman waiting to be born.

The fact that it is easier to adapt to the expected role as a man if you have a feminization fetish rather than an inborn transgender condition, makes the "denial" argument hollow, in my opinion, but that does not bother the  "militant fetishians" or the separatist transwomen, who both attack me for being naive.

Transphobic crossdreamers

Some of the "post-structuralist" even go as far as to arguing that all transsexuals are nothing but fetishists living in denial, an argument that is so grotesquely offensive that its like can only be found in deeply sexist and racist subcultures.

Which is ironic, as the main objective of the post-structuralist  philosophers I have read is to open up for diversity and acceptance, and not to reinforce the sexist stereotypes found among the most bigoted of moralists and scientists.

I am no longer going to accept transphobic or homophobic statements in this blog. I have never accepted racist and intolerant statements about Jews, Africans, Muslims or women, and I am not going to accept sexist crap about transsexuals. It is evil and destructive, and those of you who do not see that, will simply have to go elsewhere.

Crossdreamers is to be a place for self understanding and healing, not hate and bigotry. I know enough about transgender conditions to see the difference. If you are not able to distinguish between the two, you have become part of the problem and not the solution. You are not welcome here anymore.

And no, playing the "it is all about the truth" card does not work on me. The aggression and the contempt expressed by both the fetish and transsexual separatists tell me that this is not about the truth, this is about ideological purity and fundamentalism, and I think the world has enough of that crap already.  If you are unable to be civil and respectful, leave!

An holistic approach

I do, however, welcome a discussion on the origins of crossdreaming, and I have nothing against those crossdreamers who believe their condition is purely psychological, with roots in childhood trauma or the like.  Personally I think their explanations are insufficient. That does not stop their arguments from being useful, helpful, interesting  and legitimate.

I am also convinced that crossdreaming is colored by what we experience as children. The main difference between me and the fetish enthusiasts is not the understanding of social and cultural input to gender formation (i.e. our ways of expressing ourselves as men and women), but our understanding of the development of a sex identity (the inner sense or conviction of being a man, a woman or someone outside these categories).

Yes, I am going to provide you with more proof of the existence of the inborn sex identity later on. It is really not that hard to find.


It might be that my open and "listening" approach to the transgender debate, has made some of my readers believe that I have no clear ideas about what the transgender conditions are about.

Or maybe the fact that I am writing about so many aspects of sex and gender, has made some of my readers misread me.

They have found me writing about the history of gender expression and believed I am a post-structuralist "everything is culture" thinker. Or they may have read my presentation of brain studies,  interpreting that to mean that I think everything is inherited. This leads to  disappointment when these readers realize that I do not share their core beliefs, after all.

To make it clear: For me all transgender and gender variants are the end result of an interaction between social, environmental and biological conditions. This is why I report on both gender and sex research. This is why I am interested in culture as well as biology, psychology as well as neurology.

The reason the nature/nurture debate has become more acute lately, is not that I have become more biologically oriented. It is simply because "whyxlup" and some of his fellow fetishians have forced me to focus more on the biological side. Their own extremist position forces me to respond, and it is in the nature of short blog posts and blog comments that you cannot say it all, every time.

I would really ask those of you who are trying to pigeonhole me to read more than one blog post before you conclude.

An open dialogue

I started this blog as a place for exploration of transgender and gender phenomena, and -- believe me -- it will continue to be one.

But do not mistake that for spinelessness. I have learned a lot from working on this blog. I have learned a lot from those who make comments, those who write to me and from the reading of science and transgender literature.

And I can assure you, all that learning has also contributed to the development of my own understanding of what is going on here, both as regards the development of crossdreamer souls and the dynamics of the transgender community.  I am not going to suppress that learning just to keep the extremists happy.

I do not expect everyone to agree with me. That would be boring. But I do expect people to accept that my arguments are based on careful analysis and not some some kind of wishful thinking.

Discuss crossdreamer and transgender issues!