December 30, 2018

What the sexual fantasies of non-transgender people tell us about the dreams of those who are trans

A recent survey of Americans documents that one third of the respondents have had crossdreamer fantasies. The survey tells us that the erotic fantasies of gender variant people are just variations of the ones of non-transgender people.

We have all seen the mechanism at work. Marginalized people are judged by other standards than those who think of themselves as "normal". If a black man commits a crime, it is because he is black. If a white man commits a crime, it is because he is a criminal. If a cis woman has a kink, it is because she is sexually liberated. If a trans woman has a kink, she is that kink.

This is obviously why so many transphobes try to reduce transgender identities to sexual perversions and "paraphilias". If a male to female crossdreamer gets turned on by dressing up sexy, it is because he is a creepy fetishist, and not because she is a woman that wants to have her sexuality and identity affirmed.

Normalcy is not as normal as "normal people" think

All of this rests on the premise that cis (i.e. non-transgender) women and cis men shares some kind of sexual normalcy that is completely different from the one of transgender men and women.

The truth is, however, that there is only one single sexual fantasy found among trans people that is not found among cis people, and that is the arousal that might follow from the fantasy of being transformed into your target sex or real gender.

Such fantasies, which I have referred to as "erotic crossdreaming", most often lead to that transformed person having sex in some way or the other, most often in a way that affirms their new gender status.

There is an obvious explanation for why this fantasy is not found among cis people: They already have a body in alignment with their experienced gender. A transformation that allows you to have sex as yourself, is therefore not arousing.

December 2, 2018

Crossdresser, Transgender, Bigender: In Search of an Explanation

A gender variant person explores their gender identity, their sexuality and what has made them who they are, with a special emphasis on being bigender.

By Guest Author Jemimah/Jeremy

Recently I bought my first reasonably lifelike wig. This, together with some good concealer I bought a little earlier, are my first steps towards creating an ‘en femme’ persona which is not laughable. Good – but is it taking me into a different world.

Two or three years ago, when I first realised that I was at least attracted by the idea of crossdressing, I wrote a rather wild note entitled ‘why me, why now’.

I now feel the need to do something more rational and try to work over the ideas which relate to where I am – which I think for the moment is bigender. Lots of wandering the web and reading books has provided lots of theories and opinions and probably most of it is covered somewhere on the Crossdreamers web site but I wanted to work it out myself.

Brain types

Also I wanted my understanding to be based on academic, or at least unemotional, sources.

Discuss crossdreamer and transgender issues!