Gender Euphoria and Gender Dysphoria: Two Sides of the Same Coin

Exploring the gender variance and how it is expressed through gender euphoria and gender dysphoria

Guest post by Joanna Santos

Gender euphoria is the feeling of alignment and joy when we are in congruence with the aspects of gender and its expression we most want to reinforce. It can happen when either masculine or feminine traits are amplified and experienced most fully leading to harmony. This feeling can bring us closer to identity particularly when we might be otherwise forced to suppress in everyday life. 

Conversely, gender dysphoria is the experience of being denied harmony which can lead to anxiety and incongruence sometimes to the point of rejecting traits of the physical body. 

Most people have experienced some version of euphoria but the most virulent versions of dysphoria seem to be reserved for a tiny fraction of the gender variant population and most often requires therapy and medical treatment. 

How to treat gender dysphoria

We don't fully understand where gender dysphoria is sourced, only that it appears to be a combination of social factors plus biological predisposition. It also appears to be graded such that it varies between individuals. This means that adopting a blanket approach to treat it would be to disregard this aspect. 

The sexologist Anne Vitale (who herself transitioned medically) terms gender dysphoria "gender expression deprivation anxiety" which I think is fitting despite no description being able to address the root causes. For me it is the closest anyone has come to capturing the feeling of feeling trapped and unable to close the disconnect. 

Two sides of the same coin

Regrettably I have seen euphoria and dysphoria be treated almost interchangeably which is a mistake since they are different sides of the same coin. 

Historically, our rigid gender binary made dealing with dysphoria very complex since any deviation from the norm was seen as perversion and/or mental illness. As a result it was dealt with in stealth or hidden altogether from public view. 

Every individual has a unique mixture of gender expression, gender identity and sexual orientation which today makes decision making all the more complex. Masculine women and feminine men reflect on how to lead their lives in a world where there is much more elasticity in both expression and identity. 

Balance

As someone who has socially transitioned I regularly experience both dysphoria and euphoria but in more muted tones; a reflection of the balance I have achieved in my life while addressing a lifelong disconnect. I have realized in the process that nothing is ever going to be perfect while acknowledging that I have greatly improved my life quality in the process. 

Sometimes within the same day I will experience both euphoria and dysphoria while knowing from experience that both will subside back to a baseline I am now comfortable with. 

Imposter syndrome

Fear and self-doubt make dysphoria management much more difficult. Impostor syndrome, even years after transition, plagues many people and so we must necessarily make introspection part of our playbook. Failure to do so leaves us constantly feeling less than and potentially as frauds which we aren't. 

The concept of passing and living in stealth became obsessive pursuits for many people and for obvious reasons but they can also become something which holds us back since others simply seek authenticity from us. This I have learned first-hand which means hiding can often become a pathway to a permanently stunted and immature psychology. 

The goal especially for older people is to seek harmony and balance between those two sides of the coin: the euphoria and the dysphoria.