August 9, 2009

Autogynephilia: The Dark Side

In my previous blog post I presented the concept of autogynephilia and what it means to me.

In this blog post I will try to explain why it has become so controversial in trangender circles, and what I personally find most disturbing about it.



Why the term is so controversial

The controversial part is the idea that autogynephiliacs are driven by sexual desire.

To quote Lawrence again:

"In 1989, psychologist Ray Blanchard made the controversial proposal that the “atypical” male-to-female transsexuals described above, and the heterosexual cross-dressers with whom they seemed to have so much in common, both experienced a powerful sexual attraction to the idea of being or becoming women. This unusual sexual interest, or paraphilia, he theorized, was the driving force behind their behavior. Blanchard called this paraphilia autogynephilia, meaning 'love of oneself as a woman' (1989a).

"He formally defined autogynephilia as 'a male’s propensity to be sexually aroused by the thought of himself as a female' (1989b). According to Blanchard’s formulation, heterosexual cross-dressers were men who were sexually attracted to women and who had a paraphilic sexual interest that made them want to episodically impersonate the objects of their attraction. Autogynephilic transsexuals, he theorized, were men who were also sexually attracted to women, but whose paraphilic sexual interest made them want to go farther and permanently change their bodies to become the objects of their attraction, or the best possible facsimiles thereof."

This theory caused an uproar in transgender circles. Lawrence find this, for some reason, surprising. I do not.

The sexless transgendered
Now, if you read the debate, it might seem that the main issue is that Blanchard argued that the driving force for these transgendered men is sexual desire.

It is argued that many transgender persons found that this undermined their legitimacy vis-a-vis the doctors, and that they would not get surgery if they admitted they found feminization to be sexually arousing.

Because of this, the story goes, many transgender activists opposed Blanchard because it would damage the cause of transsexuals. Some of them argued strongly that they were not driven by sexual desire; others admitted that you needed to keep the erotic component hidden in order to get the surgery.

I find it hard to understand transgenderism without the sex. To me the sexual drive and gender identification is strongly connected, and the fact that transgendered men get sexually aroused by imagining themselves with a female body is pretty obvious.

I mean, look at "genuine girls" biological women. Many of them spend hours shopping for clothes, dressing up, putting on make-up, looking at themselves in the mirror. Of course there is a sexual component in this behavior. Many of them like their own bodies and femininity. They are at peace with themselves. That is a good thing! Moreover, research indicate that most genuine XX girls (natal women) are autogynephiliacs!

Moreover, male autogynephiliacs are in a life situation where it is hard for them to have a normal sex life. They love women, but find themselves inadquate as men. This may lead to a lot of sexual frustration -- celibacy even. No wonder their sexaul libido is channeled into fantasies of this kind.

So why the idea that M2F transgendered fantasizing about being women get aroused should be offensive, I don't know. It is a sad fact, though, that the medical establishment used to frown upon these things, and that M2F transgendered kept quiet about it. They often pretended to be sexless women trapped in a sexless man's body.

The real reason why Blanchard's and Lawrence's theory is problematic

The real reason I find Blanchard and Lawrence's theory so problematic is another one.

What this theory says is that these men are suffering from "erotic target location errors”. They are supposed to feel desire for the women out there. Instead they internalize the object of desire. They want to become that woman.

The narrative here is that the autogynephiliac is really a normal heterosexual man that would -- under normal circumstances -- go out and find a woman to desire. But, because of some error (being that biochemical or psychological) he has "malfunctioned".

His sexual desire (or, as Lawrence expands: his erotic-romantic orientation, which also includes other forms of pair-bonding) is channeled inwards instead of outwards.

If we now for a moment drop the scientific jargon, what I read is the following message:

This man is not only a "freak" in the eyes of others. He is truly a dysfunctional person. Scientific words like dysphoria and paraphilia cannot hide this message. I am sure Blanchard and Lawrence do not feel this way, but unless you think this kind of self-obsession is a good thing the verdict is devastating.

Lawrence's solution to this problem is (in some places, but not in others) to define autogynephilia as a sexual orientation in itself (on par with heterosexuality I suppose).

She defends the rights of autogynephiliacs to have sexual reassignment surgery on this basis. She doesn't say as much, but I guess the underlying message is that since autogynephilia is a natural phenomenon the autogynephiliacs should be allowed to live out their obsession.

The problem is, however, that as the phenomenon is described by Blanchard and Lawrence the autogynephiliac does come out as a kind of narcissist, a self-lover, a person who wants to become the object he loves, and therefore wants to make love to himself as a woman. That does not sound particularly good to me.

The potential male partners in this narrative become mere props: large human dildos the autogynephiliacs can use to fulfill their fantasies.

Because of this is seems like Lawrence and Blanchard think that autogynephiliacs will be unable to enter into a normal love/sex relationship with another human being.

The controversy summarized

Here is a crystal clear summary of the Blanchard narrative made by Michael Bailey:

"Currently the predominant cultural understanding of male-to-female transsexualism is that all male-to-female (MtF) transsexuals are, essentially, women trapped in men's bodies. This understanding has little scientific basis, however, and is inconsistent with clinical observations. Ray Blanchard has shown that there are two distinct subtypes of MtF transsexuals. Members of one subtype, homosexual transsexuals, are best understood as a type of homosexual male. The other subtype, autogynephilic transsexuals, are motivated by the erotic desire to become women. The persistence of the predominant cultural understanding, while explicable, is damaging to science and to many transsexuals."

What this means is that M2F trangender men having undergone the transformations are not women at all. They are at best a category in themselves, or they remain men in spite of their appearances. There is no "feminine essence" that makes them women; they are an evolutionary blind alley.

The other transgender narrative

Now, compare this narrative to the one that is gaining acceptance in modern societies: A male to female transsexual is really a woman, truly a woman, a normal woman living "inside" her male body.

There is no denying that something has gone wrong in the lives of male to female transsexuals (also called "transwomen"). She is after all trapped in a man's body, even if her personality may be sound. But she is not a freak. What's needed is a sex reassignment therapy that gives her the body she should have had all along.

Note that in this narrative it does not matter whether she is heterosexual, homosexual or bisexual. In the US and Europe at least, these sexualities are accepted as normal for both women and men.

So an autogynephiliac accepting this narrative can think of herself as a healthy woman that has become herself in body and soul.

An autogynephiliac accepting Blanchard's narrative in full will naturally think of himself as disturbed person even after having had the sexual reassignment surgery.

Is it possible to reconcile the concept of autogynephilia with a narrative we can live with, or do people like me just have to accept that we are perverts?

That will be the topic of my next post.
[Correction September 2010: I have replaced the term "geunine girls". Even if it was placed in quotation marks, some have interpreted this to mean that I do not believe transwomen are genuine women. Of course I do. I no longer use the term "autogynephiliac" to describe transgender people, exactly because of the argument made in this post. I now call men harboring feminization fantasies for male to female crossdreamers. ]

20 comments:

Yvonne said...

Fascinating stuff. Thank you.

sexgenderbody said...

This is another great post. I surely hope you will cross-post it at sgb.

-arvan

tg_captioner said...

As with everything, there are varying levels. There are extreme cases where one can only truly make love to thyself, and there are people like me who are able to twist their imagination so that lovemaking with their wife is really about projecting themselves into her to get off, and I don't think this is living a lie. It is turning an impossible fantasy into something that's reasonable.

Anonymous said...

This is an alternative view point on this issue. I am a heterosexual man, with no feminine characteristics. I have been told variously that I look like a cop, a professional wrestler, or a teamster organizer. I was raised by an extremely abusive mother and older sister. I have been seeing a therapist for years After a number of years I finally told him that I fantasized about being a woman (usually cruel and always beautiful who treated men terribly). I thought I was a major league pervert, but he told me it was something called “identification with the aggressor”. This is a defense mechanism where someone actually identifies with the person, or group of people abusing them as a way of dealing with their fears. During WW2 some concentration camp prisoners would identify with their camp guards. Identification with the aggressor is only considered normal when it is innocuous --as in children's play. I identified with women, because I had been so badly abused by them as a child. The women were always cruel, because that is the only type of women I have ever known. They were beautiful, because as a heterosexual man that what “turns me on”. These things may make me “damaged”, but they do not make me bad. I do not know if this fits anyone else, and I would not presume to tell other people how they feel, but this might be part of the reason for someone, When I learned this it removed a great deal of quilt and shame from my mind.

Jack Molay said...

To tg-captioner: I like this pragmatic approach of yours. As a matter of fact, I don't think this only applies to people like us. People make use of all kinds of fantasies to get off. Trying to fight that is a futile measure that only can lead to more misery.

Jack Molay said...

To Anonymous: If find your alternative and more psychological explanation very fascinating, and I would like to explore that more in depth further on.

I grew up with a very strong willed mother that felt a deep contempt for men, while she at the same time could be thrilled by what she called "charming" men. My father had apparently been part of the latter category, but when real life struck them he was relabeled as a wuss. He wasn't, really. Unlike her, he was very intelligent, but too patient and kind to be married to a woman like her.

I was drawn into her way of thinking as a kind, and adopted her view of men and my father. In many way I started to think like a 70's feminist man-hater, which is not a good thing when you are to establish a male identity.

The messages I got was conflicting:

1. Men are weaklings that fail women and think only of themselves.
2. The only exceptions are "charming" men (who, of course, also fail women, but in a more attractive way).

My mother's world was in no way ruled by logic, and I was in a lose-lose situation. I became the kind and understanding man, and won the love of my mother, but lost my self-respect as a man. Another sibling chose option 2, which probably helped his self-respect, but he is definitely also damaged goods.

Could it be that some of the sissy-fantasies we see in TG erotica is caused by such trauma. The sissy is the weakling in a female form. The weakling as a man think he is sexually unattractive to real women. As a feminized sissy he will at least become a kind of sex toy for others.

tg_captioner said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
tg_captioner said...

jack molay: that's an interesting thought about men getting sissified by strong mothers. I myself am a child of divorced parents (age 12), and my mom could be an unreasonable psycho at times (complaining she was a housewife and couldn't work, complaining she actually had to clean the house). Since my dad worked, my mom was basically in control of me and my brother. While my brother defied her and stuck to his guns, I chose the non-conflicting (and more wussy) route. I think this could be just another tiny push into who I developed into. There were some minor (though would be more serious today) issues with my dad that pushed me into who I am too.

Lisanne said...

Your blog is a refreshing breath of fresh air.

Basically what you are saying here is right on target. Scientists such as Blanchard do not consider the human impact of their theories. But then again, until the Internet it was quite difficult to get access to these writings.

Then again, science requires objectivity. One separates the individual from the condition.

I do look forward to reading your followup.

Linsie said...

It seems to me that the term autogynephilia should only apply to non-transgendered males. If you are a "normal" male and the only only way you can get your rocks off is to imagine yourself as a female having sex then this term describes you.

On the other hand it seems totally natural for any transgendered M2F to imagine themselves as the female. It surprises me to no end that there is any debate about this in the TG community.

Jessica De Leon said...

What a great post, very interesting read :)

Anonymous said...

I was the second boy. My mom always wanted a girl. She went on to have two more children, the second being her daughter. It has always messed me up. I also did not match up with my older brother in terms of "maleness." To compound this, I also have very little body hair. I have fantasized being a woman. However, I do not want to upset the status quo, wife, two kids, male image. At night, I go to sleep and ask God to make me a woman. This leads to feelings of embarassment. I have shared some of these thoughts with my wife. She does not want any part of it. However, she does refer to me as "she" more often than not. To hide my feelings, I have grown a goatee. Pretty smart. However, my feelings are still there and are only relieved via masturbation or sex with my wife. Pretty messed up. These feelings are exasperated when I am not succeeding in my role as a provider. I wish that there were easy answers.

Jack Molay said...

To Anonymous,

Oh, I wish there were any easy answers as well. You say that your wife refers to you as "she". Is this a sign of disrespect? I mean: You have told you about your condition and now she mocks you for it? That would be very hard, indeed.

Jack

Anonymous said...

What does autogynephilia say about the transgender person who wanted to be a girl/woman well before puberty? I remember wanting to be a girl as young as 4 or 5. I remember waliking home from school in second grade wishing I could be like the girls I was walking behind. I remember praying at night as early as kindergarten for God to make me a girl when I was sleeping.

Jack Molay said...

I am working on a post on crossdreamers (autogynephiliacs) reporting childhood dreams of being a girl.

The idea that crossdreamers (as opposed to androphilic transsexuals) only experience such dreams at puberty at the earliest is wrong. Many of them dream about this as kids.

Samix said...

@Jack – you seem to react quite strongly to the word “error” as used in a way that might be applicable to you. I appreciate that words can be very powerful, but I am not troubled by the use of the word “error” to describe whatever it is that leads me to experience autogynephilia. To me it is pretty obvious that autogynephilia is “abnormal” in the sense that it is different from the “norm.” But “abnormal” is neither bad not good – just different. Autogynephilia is not the only thing that is “abnormal” about me – I am abnormally tall, abnormally smart, abnormally shy (reserved) – neither good nor bad – just different. I understand the use of the word “error” as coming from the vantage point that “normal” is the result of “correct” wiring, while “abnormal” is suggestive of an “error.” So what? – it isn’t life threatening. That’s how I see it, but, again, I understand the sensitivity.

Jack Molay said...

I am pretty sensitive about this. Not in the sense that I do not welcome comments like yours -- I do! -- but in the sense that I do believe words like these may have connotations beyond what you indicate.

The word error (a deviation from accuracy or correctness; a mistake) indicates in this context a deviation from a healthy, natural or correct system. It is something negative, not neutral.

In the case of "target location error", however, my beef is not with the word error, but with the whole explanation of autogynephilia. It says that we are self-absorbed narcissists unable to love someone else, and that is simply not true.

As for the understanding of the word "abnormal", I think you may be right. The dictionary definition of "abnormal" is (dictionary.com):

1. not normal, average, typical, or usual; deviating from a standard: abnormal powers of concentration; an abnormal amount of snow; abnormal behavior.
2. extremely or excessively large: abnormal profit.

The term seems neutral, but note that the Cambridge dictionary defines abnormal as "different from what is usual or average, especially in a way that is bad".

But I don't think I used this term here.

In any case, it is terms like "perversion" and "paraphilia" that really get me going!

Sarah said...

"I am working on a post on crossdreamers (autogynephiliacs) reporting childhood dreams of being a girl. "

Jack, did you ever end up writing this post? Where is it?

Jack Molay said...

Yepp

http://www.crossdreamers.com/2010/11/childhood-crossdreamers.html

Kastin Bergeron said...

We're dangerous to the feminist narrative that women can do no wrong and that man is historically the aggressor when in fact men and women were always mutually in servitude to one another and that all actual research shows men to be victims of violence by women as often as women are by men. The average woman has become endoctrinated to many fallacies dissiminated by power hungry female preference advocacy groups financed by the top executive capital holding firms to shape and control humanity's future. We have been feminized in a lot of cases because the issue with the confusion towards our gender neutralizes us from being political threats towards the technological dictatorship that is being built around us. It is really frustrating for me to see heterosexual women and homosexual men get excused from their agency when I receive no sympathy even if I can logically explain how I have been impaired by women in my psycho-social development. Once again, this is because the prevailing ideology is that women cannot be held accountable for the damaging choices they make to become "strong and independent". In other words, her perceived "wellfare" or emancipation from male leadership becomes a priority over her male child's fundamental need of identifying to his biological gender. I argue that our ego refuses to forget that in general we have been attracted more often to the opposite sex than not and are willing to suffer (probably due to our developed resillience to callous emotional indifference) even more marginalization than average men in today's society to assert our specific identity. This does not go against genetic theory as genes only predispose individuals to certain behaviors and are not the final deciding factors of our choices. Most people who have the serial killer gene have no history of violence and live to have normal lives even if their entourage can discern they are mimmicking some emotions. It really takes a special kind of family environment to create either a crossdreamer (higher than average empathy- see stockholm syndrome) or a serial killer (dissociation between empathy and conscience). I believe we are in a very good position to end the war between the sexes if we become communicators and intermediaries to expose the truth about gender as we are the ones who became the most informed to make sense of who we are.
Kastin