On the innate femininity of autogynephiliacs

Is the the femininity of autogynephiliacs genetic or is it just an erotic target location error?

Image: Tanyarat Jirapatpakon, a kathoey or Thai transsexual woman.

One good online friend asked me the other day why I was so critical towards Ray Blanchard. It was a good question. After all, I have bought his idea of there being a distinct group of heterosexual men fantasizing of becoming women (as opposed to classic transsexuals). Some of them crossdress, and minority of them even end up transitioning, getting hormone treatments and sex reassignment surgery.

Since I am an autogynephiliac myself, I know that we exist. Blanchard is right about this, and I although I dislike the term "autogynephilia", I am grateful for the fact that he made me and other autogynephiliacs visible.

Erotic target location error

I guess my main problem is with his explanation for this condition. He argues that the reason autogynephiliacs get turned on by imagining themselves as women, is because they have internalized their natural object of attraction, i.e. women, into themselves. This is an "erotic target location error".

Basically, he argues, the autogynephiliacs are heterosexual men, but somehow, something has gone wrong. Instead of focusing their desire on real women out there, they are attracted to the idea of they themselves being women. It is a kind of self-obsessed narcissism (although he doesn't use those words).

His follower Anne Lawrence has gone as far as suggesting that this can be some kind of alternative sexuality: homosexuality is same sex attraction, heterosexuality is between-sex attraction and autogynephilia is a kind of inside-yourself-sex attraction.

Evolution

I can see why Blanchard has come to this conclusion. It is partly because of his ideology. He is grounded in traditional evolutionary biology, where the basic pattern of sexuality is oriented towards procreation. In evolutionary terms only heterosexual sex makes sense, as only that can lead to the transmission of genes. (For an alternative view, see my posts on Joan Roughgarden).

Blanchard and his supporter Bailey have spent a lot of time trying to make sense of homosexuality in evolutionary terms. That is hard enough. The autogynephiliacs make it all even more complicated, and by clearly defining them as "normal", although perverted, heterosexuals they avoid further complication.

His explanation is supported by the fact that many autogynephiliacs display a kind of narcissistic behavior. Some of them get so obsessed with their secret fantasies and practices, that it gets hard for them to develop normal love relationships with another person. The idea of them being in love with themselves therefore seems to make sense.

In denial?

You could argue that the reason I am reluctant to accept this, is that the thought of being labelled a fetishist or paraphiliac (in essence a dysfunctional pervert) does not appeal to me. And that could be true. I may be living in denial. I have done so before.

Still, I have a deep gut feeling telling me that this explanation is too simplistic. Blanchard may be onto something, but this hypothesis does not ring true. There is much more to autogynephilia than this. The fact is, for instance, that many autogynephiliacs do manage to establish good and loving relationships with women.

Moreover, his isn't really an explanation. He or his supporters have not really told us how or why this internalization takes place.

Crossexualism leads to autogynephilia

To help myself think more clearly about this, I have started to distinguish between autogynephilia as a condition and a hypothetical cause for autogynephilia. I have called the hypothetical complex that underpins autogynephilia "crossexualism". I am using the cross-prefix as it is already used for crossdressing, and in my own term "crossdreaming".

Crossexualism is the cause, autogynephilia is the effect.

Depending on the individual's biological/personal/cultural or social basis, the crossexual can develop different symptoms. Some end up crossdressing. Others start exploring transgender erotica about men being changed into women (crossdreaming). Some seek pleasure in behaving like women (crossenacting).

It could also be that crossexuals may develop other conditions, like gynemimetophilia (transsensuals, men who are attracted to pre-op transsexuals). Maybe some crossexuals become transgenderists, i.e M2F transsexuals who keep their original genitalia. But this is pure speculation on my part.

AGPs are unfeminine

Blanchard and Bailey deny that autogynephiliacs have an innate femininity. They believe that classic transsexual women (who they call homosexual transsexual men) are effeminate, but the autogynephiliacs are not. They and several other researchers base this understanding on observations.

Let's for a moment forget about the methodological problems related to defining who look and behave femininely and who don't. Let us forget about the fact that autogynephiliacs in general transition later in life than classic transsexuals, and that this may influence the observer's ability to distinguish between the feminine and the unfeminine (older women may look less feminine than younger ones). Let us also disregard the fact that even natural born genuine girls may look less feminine than many transsexuals.

Let us for the sake of argument accept that autogynephile men in general look more masculine than effeminate homosexual men, and that autogynephile transsexuals on average are more manly than classic transsexuals. The autogynephiliacs -- on average -- find it harder to pass as a woman than the classic transsexuals.

Do AGPs have an inner woman?

If this is the case, does this prove that autogynephiliacs have no innate femininity? Or to put it in other terms: Does this prove that the "inner woman" of the autogynephiliac is something that has been introduced into his/her psyche from the outside, while the "inner woman" of a classical transsexual is inborn?

(Just to make sure: Blanchard does not believe that classic transsexuals are women, but he does believe that they are more feminine that other biological born men, so I guess you could say he does accept some kind if innate femininity. To me they are women.)

The reason Blanchard & Co couple the looks of these people with their potential femininity, is most likely because he believes that the femininity of homosexuals and classical transsexuals is hormonal. A demasculinisation of a man may bring about both feminine looks and feminine manners. The looks, manners and psychological femininity are interconnected.

A different approach from Thailand

This brings me over to an interesting discussion taking place on this blog. There are now more than 80 comments on my Beyond the perversion post, encompassing a large number of useful exchanges. One of these discussions was initiated by a sexologist working in Thailand.

Natalie points to an article on the femininity of homosexuals and argues that the genetic condition that causes the femininity of gay men is the same as causes the femininity of autogynephiliacs.

She argues that the main difference between gay men and autogynephiliacs is their sexual orientation, not that the femininity of the homosexuals is essentially different from the one of the AGPs.

Gay gene vs. camp gene

She simplifies this by talking about two genes: "the gay gene" and "the camp gene". The feminine gay man has both, the autogynephiliac has only the latter.

I don't believe that one gene can cause homosexuality or a complex phenomenon as autogynephilia, but let's say that there are specific complexes of genetic and hormonal factors that cause both of these phenomena. If this is the case, would Natalie's line of argument make any sense?

If it did, you would have an alternative explanation for autogynephilia that fits the obervations made by researchers like Blanchard and Lawrence, but that do not reduce autogynephiliacs to fetishists or paraphiliacs.

Jack in Will and Grace

I voiced my scepticism in this way:

"I am no expert on gay men, both I know a few. Few of them are very effeminate (you know, like Jack in Will & Grace), but some are. Still their femininity is not like anything an XX woman would display, especially not if you move into the realm of flamboyant exhibitionism (like the one of drag queens). Truth to be told, I do not know how to understand this type of homosexuality. I like them, but I do not 'get' them!

That makes it hard for me to decide whether the cause of effeminate display among homosexual men is the same as the one for AGP.

My first reaction is no, because very few AGPs displays the same mannerisms as Jack in Will & Grace. Quite the opposite, actually, we often seem very masculine, both in the way we look and the way we move.

I have clear feminine traits, but they are found in my personality and in my interests, not in any form of 'campness'. I am as far away from camp as it is possible to imagine. Really :-)

But that does not exclude the possibility that there is a factor X that causes both effeminate behavior among gay men and the dream of becoming a woman among AGPs."

My point was that there ought to be a connection between the outward expression of femininity and the inner femininity.

Natalie did not agree.

Gender identity is different from gender expression

Here is her response:

"I wouldn't say 'camp' is a form of behavior which is unwomanly. It is just that women normally don't intend to display it as it has no purpose whatsoever in their ordinary lives. However quite a lot women do engage in that, especially, when it comes to earning fame through glamour and beauty in fashion, film and music industry.

And the very same goes for drag queens. Most drag queens perform it as a form of art, to impersonate females or create an effect parallel to the glam females and hence get a lot of spotlight, attention and wider fame on stage. For them, finding sexual partners or having stable family isn't as essential as their need for media spotlight. Same goes for many XX women from the fashion industry too who are rejecting all traditional female roles for fashion.
But does that rule out they are women and feminine?

Camp is just an outward display or affectation but the genetic makeup which causes it has to be nothing but XX feminine.

Gay males, on the other hand, don't appear femme in the first place but still most are, or at least have been, at a certain stage of life. Fashion may be an area of interest to them or not, but, to form stable relationships and to become potentially attractive clients in the homosexual market, they masculinize themselves and try to avoid every shred of that feminity their problems started with.

But I do suspect that had they not found [in] their early childhood [that] unmanly behaviors were inviting censure from Western society, they would have become more feminine or camp as well. I say this as in my country, just 42% of the kathoey [Thai transsexuals] report they have the mind of a true girl though all of them report feeling different from manly men and also feel they are quite feminine.

Which leads me to conclude that many of these are just feminine gay men who have been put into kathoey category by the Thai society just because they are feminine. Yet they happily grow up as girls.

So, I would say, femininity is present and is the same for all of them- gay and bigender males, drag queens all the way to homosexual transsexuals. The degree of femininity displayed depends on which part of feminity they like most and which serves their purpose of survival provided they are not forced to repress it. But their basic genetic makeup or combinations of genes have same underlying base of femininity.

And so, finally, if autogynephiles are also feminine in some way, they must be having the same combination of genes which make them unmanly. They aren't camp just because they aren't drawn to it and they don't need it as any accessory tool."

Survival strategies

My interpretation of what Natalie says is that homosexual men have two choices:

(1) To suppress their feminine side in order to attract gay men (which is more common in Europe and Northern America), or

(2) to accentuate their feminine side to attract heterosexual men (which is more common in Thailand). These gay men teach themselves feminine mannerisms. According to Natalie the mannerisms are not inborn.

Autogynephiliacs may be equally feminine at heart, but they do not display their feminine side outwards, as they are not rewarded for it. They are attracted to women, and women like masculine men. Or, at least, the autogynephiliacs believe that women are attracted to stereotypically masculine men only. Because of this they never learn feminine mannerisms.

Note that Natalie used the term "homosexual transsexual". I don't use this term myself because it may lead you to believe that the classical transsexual women are in fact gay men. They are not, as I see it. But you could, even if you follow Natalie's line of argument, say that the classic transsexuals are complete women as this femininity is inborn. It is not a result of a free choice or cultural conditioning. The kathoeys that report they have "the minds of a true girls" are classical transsexuals, because they do have the minds of true girls.

According to Natalie, there is another group of kathoeys that are not classical transsexuals, but feminine gay men. Even if male Thais take part in a kind of macho culture, the Thais are fairly tolerant towards the kathoeys. The feminine homosexual male may therefore adapt the role of kathoey with success.

The same may apply to some Latin and Middle Eastern countries, where a man is not considered homosexual if he takes the active part in the sexual act. Feminine gay men may therefore find active heterosexual male partners. Acting feminine pays off.

Identity and mannerisms

I remained skeptical. I argued that this requires that there is no biological causality between genetically based femininity and mannerisms. I.e.: their femininity is biological, but their "campness" is an act.

Some report that many (but not all) autogynephiliacs s find it especially hard to pass after transition, simply because they do not appear feminine or behave in a feminine manner. Natalie's point, though, is that there is a difference between gender identity and gender expression (cp. Betty's comment).

Gender identity is your fundamental and personal experience of being a man or a woman. Gender expression is how you present this identity to the world. There are natural born women who identify as women, but who nevertheless do not appear very feminine in public. In the same way a feminine man can appear masculine in public.

Looking at girls

Natalie again:

"I guess there is a certain difference in how homosexuals and heterosexuals look at girls. Homosexual men, more specifically, in most places outside Europe or North America, look at females just like ordinary girls do and try to imitate them as far as possible for presenting their beauty, as their primary purpose is to appear pretty.

They have not much difficulty in imbibing the campness and feminine behavior with just a bit of practice on a highly subconscious level.

However, heterosexuals usually look at women sexually. And so do the autogynephiles although they themselves have a feminine component inside.

So, while these homosexuals would go on making their inner feminine persona presentable and so would concentrate on their outward mannerisms, autogynephiles go on to eroticize this inner woman due to their sexuality. And because they don't see women that way, they fail to behave feminine too.

But that does not mean they are not feminine. I have heard many AGPs have felt different from other boys in childhood and also have had a strong femininity. It's that they haven't noticed their femininity like other girls and homosexuals or Classic transsexuals, because they simply did not need to pay attention to it and also worse, they were obviously made to believe they are boys.
In a way, they were more blind to their female component until their sexuality in puberty showed them...."

Repressed femininity

What Natalie does here is to turn the traditional story upside down: Autogynephiliacs have, for some reason or the other, repressed their inner femininity. Following your basic dynamic psychology this would mean that this suppressed part of their personality needs to find another outlet, and in the case of autogynephiliacs this is through sexual fantasies.

If I understand Natalie correctly, there is another reason for this as well: Gay men imitate women because they share the same objective: to attract men. Auotgynephiliacs cannot do that, because their objective is to attract women. In our culture a man who behave like a woman is automatically labelled as effeminate and gay, and the autogynephiliacs need to avoid that label if they are to succeed as woman-loving males.

This does not have to be a conscious choice. Early attempts at feminine behavior would have been punished - if not by parents, so by play mates.

So: according to Natalie the autogynephilic eroticism is the effect, and not the cause as it is with Blanchard, Bailey and Lawrence.

Childhood femininity

In order to prove this, you would have to prove that autogynephiliacs have this feminine component from childhood on. The research does not indicate this. In fact, on an aggregate level the pattern is that classical transsexual M2F women identify as girls at a very early age (younger than five years old), while the autogynephiliacs do not become aware of their condition until puberty.

I suspect that autogynephiliacs do become aware of their condition long before puberty. In my case I had childhood fantasies of becoming a girl as early as the age of 10 or 11, while puberty started at around 15 (I was damned late!). My dreams of becoming Supergirl was not explicitly sexual in nature.

(Lawrence actually agrees that autogynephilia may appear before puberty, but she argues that it is sexual in nature, all the same).

I cannot remember having dreams about being a girl at the age of five. Natalie may still be right, though. This innate femininity may express itself in many ways in childhood, and not necessarily as a dream of being a girl at that stage.

The outsiders

Natalie argues that many autogynephiliacs report that they felt different from other boys in childhood. I get the exact same reports: Even if they do not express feminine behavior, they do display what I -- for lack of a better word -- would call non-masculine behavior.

I hated rough and tumble play, I hated sports, I was the quiet one, and throughout life I has kept this "feminine" approach to life: being the integrator and the peace maker, rather than the aggressor.

Like classic transsexuals, autogynephiliacs report of school days where they were being bullied and persecuted for being different. Like classic transsexuals many of them were called sissies and faggots, in spite of their budding love for girls.

Parental conditioning

It could also be that autogynephiliacs do want to be girls at an early age, but that they have been forced to suppress this longing because of parental conditioning. If that is the case, we will have to explain why this kind of repression is less likely to occur amongst classic transsexuals.

One possible answer could be that there is both a gradual and a dynamic dimension to the innate femininity of all these various types of biological men.

By gradual I mean that some men are more feminine than others. As I have noted before, I feel like I have a mix of typical masculine and feminine traits. I have a strong inner woman, but I do not think that I am a woman trapped in a man's body. I also have a strong inner man. That makes me different from a classic transsexual woman.

That would mean that what I have called crossexualism above (the unknown cause of autogynephilia) could be a subcategory under the broader inner femininity concept of Natalie.

By dynamic I mean that the femininity of men can unfold throughout time, as may other psychological traits. For some reason androphilic feminine biological men become aware of their femininity at an earlier age than the gynephilic ones. This could be an effect of their sexual orientation. They are programmed by nature to attract men and that force is so strong that it defeats the many suppression attempts made by family and friends.

(And yes, in case you wondered: Children are sexual beings. They are training for adulthood, and start flirting before they can walk.)

I am not going to conclude on this in this post. This is a work in progress. But I must say I find this discussion very interesting, and I will definitely explore Natalie's ideas in more detail.

I would like to thank Natalie and the rest of you for all these fruitful interventions. Keep'em coming!

Transgender and Transsexual Glossary

There is much confusion about what terms means within the area of transgender and transsexual issues, which makes discussions harder than they have to be. Some terms are also very controversial.

Below I have given a list of definitions for terms used in relevant discussions. Please note that I do not necessarily support the ideologies underpinning all of these terms. This is a blog for learning and discussion, and I will take the liberty to refine and expand the definitions as I go along. Please add comments on the definitions given and suggest terms that should be included.

This is a blog about both male to female crossdreaming (autogynephilia) and female to male crossdreaming (autoandrophilia). The coverage of F2M terms and issues is somewhat underdeveloped, though. I plan to do something about that.

AGP: See autogynephilia.

Androgyne: a person who live without appearing or behaving particuarly male or female.

Androphile: one who is attracted to men (see sexual orientation).

Asexual: lack of sexual attraction, or interest in or desire for sex. Sometimes, it is considered a lack of a sexual orientation.

Autoandrophilia (I prefer the term female to male crossdreaming): biological female who get aroused by the image of herself as a man (cp. crossdreamer and autogynephilia).

Autogynephilia (controversial term, also AGP, and misrepresented as autogyne. I prefer the term male to female crossdreaming). Term coined in 1989 by Ray Blanchard to refer to "a man's paraphilic tendency to be sexually aroused by the thought or image of himself as a woman." On this blog I do not necessarily consider the condition a paraphila (see paraphilia). Blanchard operates with four types of autogynephilia:

• Transvestic autogynephilia (at this blog called crossdressing): arousal to the act or fantasy of wearing women's clothing
• Behavioral autogynephilia (at this blog called crossenacting): arousal to the act or fantasy of doing something regarded as feminine
• Physiologic autogynephilia (at this blog called nothing at all): arousal to fantasies of female-specific body functions
• Anatomic autogynephilia (at this blog called crossdreaming): arousal to the fantasy of having a woman's body, or parts of one

BDSM (or Bondage, Domination, Sado-Masochism) sexuality characterized by the consenual exchange of power. This is echange of power can be either physical (e.g., spanking), psychological (e.g., teasing), or both. Often BDSM involves gender-related play when the partner with power adopt a male role and the partner without power adopts of female role. There are M2F crossdreamers (see crossdreaming) who take part in (or fantasize about) role playing where the dominant is a strong woman or a she-male and where the crossdreamer takes the submissive female role (See shemale).

Bigender: (controversial term) a tendency to move between feminine and masculine gender-typed behaviour depending on context, expressing a distinctly "en femme" persona and a distinctly "en homme" persona, feminine and masculine respectively.

Biphilic (also bi-philic): see bisexual.

Bisexual: a sexual behavior or an orientation involving physical or romantic attraction to both males and females.

Blanchard, Ray: the researcher that coined the term autogynephilia. See these posts for more information.

Body dysphoria: See gender dysphoria.

Boy's Love (also BL or yaoi, terms taken from Japanese culture): Female-oriented fictional media, especially Japanese style manga comics,  that focus on homoerotic or homoromanticmale sexual relationships, usually created by female authors. Given that both female writers and readers identify with the male characters it is fair to say that much of this material can be considered crossdreamer fiction. The term "yaoi" (short for "Yama nashi, ochi nashi, imi nashi", meaning "No climax, no fall , no meaning". is sometimes understood as synonymous with Boy's Love, sometimes as a more sexually explicit sub-category of BL.

Boydyke: A biological female who intentionally or non-intentionally expresses and/or presents culturally/stereotypically masculine, particularly boyish, characteristics. Also, one who enjoys being perceived as a young male (passing).

Butch: (may be understood as derogatory) Used to identify a lesbian (biological female) who expresses and/or presents culturally/stereotypically masculine characteristics.

CD: See crossdressing.

Cisgendered: man or woman who has a match between an his or her gender identity and the behavior or role considered appropriate for his or her sex, also known as "normal people".

Classic or classical transsexual women (controversial term, also known as primary transsexual, secondary transsexual, true transsexual, core transsexual, CT. The term is related to HBS, see Harry Benjamin Syndrome): In this blog normally a term used to describe a political tribe of transwomen who argue that they have nothing in common with crossdreamers and crossdresser (see separatist). There are two main definitions of this term: (1) A woman that that has been born with a male body. She can be androphile, gynephile or bisexual, as can any woman. (2) An androphile M2F transsexual woman, as opposed to crossdreamers (autogynephiliacs) who are thought to be gynephile, bisexual or asexual. I am using this term as (1). Blanchard sticks to alternative (2) using the rather confusing term "homosexual transsexual".

Closeted (or in the closet): Not disclosing (coming out) or being secretive about an individual's own sexual orientation and/or gender identity.

Crossdreamer (also XD): A person who is crossdreaming (see crossdreaming)

Crossdreaming (or cross-dreaming, also XD, covers some of the same phenomena as autogynephilia/autoandrophilia): Term made by me to describe the act of dreaming about having the body of the opposite sex. These feminization fantasies (in case of biological men) and masculinization fantasies (in the case of biological women) are often found sexually arousing. Male to female crossdreamers, for instance, often imagine themselves having breasts and female genitalia. Often, but not always, crossdreamers will play the culturally defined role of the opposite sex in these fantasies. Female to male crossdreamers will for instance fantasize about taking the proactive, dominant, thrusting, role when having intercourse. Crossdreaming is often, but not always, expressed through crossdressing, role playing and/or transgender erotica. It seems that most crossdreamers are attracted to persons of the same sex as the target sex of their fantasies. M2F crossdreamers are attracted to women. F2M crossdreamers are attracted to men. Research indicates, however, that there are also androphilic (man loving) M2F crossdreamers and gynephilic F2M crossdreamers. Most crossdreamers identify with their biological sex, at least partly and in public. Studies of M2F crossdressers indicate that close to 20 percent of them may consider sex reassignment surgery, however, and some of them do transition. The term crossdreaming is based on the concept of autogynephilia (see autogyenphilia) which was developed by Ray Blanchard. However, the term autogynephilia (or autoandrophilia for F2M crossdreamers) indicates that the conditions is caused by autoerotisism (auto in the meaning of "self") whereby the person has internalized the external love object, becoming sexually attracted to the idea of him or herself having the body of the opposite sex. The term crossdreaming does not entail such an explanation. Personally I think crossdreaming is at least partly caused by a biologically based gender dysphoria. The term crossdreaming can also be considered a parallel to Harry Benjamin's types 1, 2, 3 and 4. They may develop into type 5 and 6.

Crossdressing (or cross-dressing): the wearing of clothing and other accoutrement commonly associated with the other gender within a particular society. If M2F crossdressing is associated with sexual arousal it can be categorized as crossdreaming (see crossdreaming) or autogynephilia (see autogynephilia). Blanchard calls this transvestic autogynephilia.

Crossenacting: arousal to the act or fantasy of doing something regarded as feminine (in the case of men) and masculine (in the case of women). Blanchard calls this behavioral autogynephilia in the case of men (see autogynephilia).

Crossexuality: Term coined by me to describe a hypothetical condition that can lead to crossdressing and crossdreaming (see autogynephilia). Crossexuality is the cause, crossdreaming and crossdressing are the effects.

CT: See classic transsexual.

DG: see drag queen.

Drag Queen: a person, usually a man, who dresses, and usually acts, like a woman often for the purpose of entertaining or performing. Drag queens often identify as homosexual (androphilic) males, as opposed to crossdressers, who are most likely gynephilic males (see crossdresser, androphilic and gynephilic).

Dyke (also Femme Dyke, Butch Dyke, Bi Dyke): A "female-bodied" person or a woman who identifies with other women, and is attracted to women; this is a term that is used by many different types of people often taken back in a positive way for self-identification; can be political; and a term historically used only in a negative context to ridicule and label lesbians who were perceived to express and/or present culturally/stereotypically masculine characteristics.

Effeminate: Used to identify a person (usually male) who expresses and/or presents culturally/stereotypically feminine characteristics.

Fetish: (on this blog used for sexual fetish) the sexual arousal brought on by any object, situation or body part not conventionally viewed as being sexual in nature. If you follow the official definitions of fetish, as found in the psychiatric manuals, crossdreaming cannot be understood as a fetish. Some crossdreamers seem to think that the term has a wider meaning, including any sexual desire that can -- presumably -- be explained as the end result of a personal psychological development (as opposed to being caused by an inborn, biological, factor). In my opinion this use of the word can only cause unnecessary confusion an further stigmatization of crossdreamers.

Femme: (may be understood as derogatory) Used to identify a lesbian (biologcial female) who expresses and/or presents culturally/stereotypically feminine characteristics.

F2M (or FTM): Female to male: Refers to the state of the biological sex before and after transitioning, or to the biological sex and the target sex in crossdreamer fantasies.

Gender (controversial term): (1) In social studies: the socially constructed roles, behaviors, activities, and attributes that a given society considers appropriate for men and women. (2) In biology: the state of being male or female. The biology of gender is a scientific analysis of the physical basis for behavioural differences between males and females. In this blog I will use the term in both ways, trying to remember to tell you which is which.

Gender bender (controversial term): informal term used to refer to a person who actively transgresses, or "bends," expected gender roles.

Gender binary (controversial term): classification of sex and gender into two distinct forms of masculine and feminine. At the moment I tend to believe that some cisgendered and transsexual people more or less follow the dichotomy of the gender binary, while others don't.

Gender dysphoria: a condition where a person feels that he or she is trapped within a body of the wrong sex. Dysphoria is defined as an unpleasant or uncomfortable mood, such as sadness (depressed mood), anxiety, irritability, or restlessness. See also gender identity disorder. Recently I have started using the terms "sex dysphoria" or "body dysphoria"  instead, as this suffering is primarily about the body, and not about cultural gender roles.

Gender expression: the physical manifestation of one's gender identity, usually expressed through clothing, mannerisms, and chosen names (see gender identity) Gender identity or core gender identity (controversial terms): the gender a person self-identifies as (see gender 1).

Gender identity disorder (controversial term): formal diagnosis used by psychologists and physicians to describe persons who experience significant gender dysphoria (discontent with the biological sex they were born with). Some argue that there is no disorder, as they understand gender as a social construct. I am pretty certain that there is a biological basis for classic transsexuals (see classic transsexual women). Given that their gender identity is different from their biological sex, that would meant that the word disorder is appropriate. I also believe crossdreaming has a biological basis, but this has in no way been proven (see crossexuality) . I have recently started using the term "sex identity" instead of "gender identity", as this -- in the case of gender dysphoric transgender -- is more about alienation from the sex of one's birth body than from cultural gender roles.

Gender variant: A subjective sense of not belonging  completely to the gender of one’s birth-assigned sex. The term gender-variance is used to refer to the behavioral expression of this  identity which could range from occasionally dressing as one’s identified gender to  living full-time in this gender. (from J Veale) 

Genderfuck (or gender-fuck, controversial term): a form of gender identity or gender expression, using parody and exaggeration to call attention to its transgression of gender roles, seeking to expose them as artificial, often by manipulating one's appearance to create gender dissonance or ambiguity in stark opposition of the gender binary. Used for crossdressing with contempt for any concern about passing; e.g., a male wearing a skirt, but with a beard and unshaved legs. As I have noted elsewhere: While there is clearly many facets of the gender roles that are culturally determined, I strongly believe there is a biological core to gender identity.

Genderqueer (or gender-queer, controversial term): term for gender identities other than man and woman. People who identify as genderqueer may think of themselves as being both man and woman, as being neither man nor woman, or as falling completely outside the gender binary. See queer.

Genetic Girl (also Genuine Girl or GG): Natural born woman (see cisgender).

Girlfag: a biologically female individual who feels a strong romantic or erotic attraction towards gay males or male bisexuals or their milieu. A girlfag might partly or wholly feel "like a gay man trapped in a woman's body". I guess this this group could be called F2M crossdreamers.

Guydyke: a biologically male person who feels a strong romantic or erotic attraction towards lesbians, female bisexuals, or the culture of women loving women. Guydykes experience lesbian feelings and are commonly referred to as lesbian-identified men or lesbian men.

Gynandromorphophilia: see transfan.

Gynephile or gynophile: a person who is attracted to females (see sexual orientation).

Gynemimetophilia: see transfan.

Harry Benjamin Standards of Care (also: HB SOC or SOC) A list of rules dictating what is considered by a consenesus of mental health professionals the appropriate way to treat transsexuals.

Harry Benjamin Syndrome (also HBS, controversial): non-medical term made up by transwomen who hate the idea of being associated with crossdressers and transgender prostitutes. They argue that the gender identity of HBS women, as opposed to crossdreamers, is inborn and based in the brain. The "syndrome" has no scientific basis, and the use of Harry Benjamin's name is lamentable.

HBS: see Harry Benjamin Syndrome.

Hermaphrodite (no longer used for humans): see intersex.

Homosexuality: romantic or sexual attraction or behavior among members of the same sex. On this blog an M2F transsexual woman is homosexual if she is attracted to women, an F2M transsexual man is homosexual if he is attracted to men. To avoid confusion I use the word androphilic (attracted to men) and gynephilic (attracted to women) instead. Blanchard uses the term homosexual transsexual (HSTS) to describe M2F transsexuals that are attracted to men. I find that very confusing.

Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT): the taking of sex-related hormone s (e.g., estrogen, testosterone). Most often the term is used for post-menapusal women taking estrogen. The term also applies to a transsexual taking hormones of the target sex.

HSTS (controversial term used by Ray Blanchard): homosexual transsexual male. The real meaning of this term is androphilic M2F transexual woman (see homosexuality). Blanchard does not use this term for gynephilic F2M transmen.

Intergender (controversial term): see genderqueer.

Internalized Transphobia: The belief that being a transsexual or transgendered is inferior to being cissexual. The internalization of negative messages, feelings about oneself and one's group, and the beliefs about how people like you should be treated, which often leads to self-hate and difficulty with self-acceptance.

Intersexuality: in humans refers to intermediate or atypical combinations of physical features that usually distinguish male from female. This is usually understood to be congenital, involving chromosomal, morphologic, genital and/or gonadal anomalies, such as diversion from typical XX-female or XY-male presentations, e.g., sex reversal (XY-female, XX-male), genital ambiguity, sex developmental differences. An intersexed individual may have biological characteristics of both the male and female sexes. If transexuality and crossdreaming/autogynephilia have biological (brain) foundations it could be argued that these conditions also are intersexual. In this blog, however, I will not use the term in that way, in order to avoid unnecessary confusion.

LGBT (also GLBT and LGBTQ) refers to lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (and queer) people. LGBT emphasize a diversity of sexuality and gender identity‐based cultures and is sometimes used to refer to anyone who is non‐heterosexual instead of exclusively to people who are homosexual, bisexual, or transgender. Some classic transsexuals as well as intersexed people resist being included under the LGBT umbrella, as they feel they have nothing in common with homosexuals and crossdreamers/autogynephiliacs.

Male lesbian: (term coined by Dr. Brian G. Gilmartin in his book Shyness & Love: Causes, Consequences, and Treatment a heterosexual man who wishes that he had been born a woman, but who (even if he had been a woman) could only make love to another woman and never to a man. The "male lesbian" does not feel himself to be "a woman trapped inside the body of a man" and do not want a sex change operation. They envy the perogatives of the female gender and believe these perogatives fit their own inborn temperaments far more harmoniously than the pattern of behavioral expectations to which males are required to adhere.

Mangina: (derogatory) 1. Derisive term for a man's feminine side - especially when he's picky, touchy or emotional about something seemingly minor. 2. A man totally controlled by a woman 3. A weak willed man 4. The partner that takes it in the anus in a male homosexual relationship 5. A male prostitute, gay or straight. 6. A male looking persons who desires to change his genitals into female for no other reason than sex.

Metrosexual: a heterosexual man (especially one living in a post-industrial, capitalist culture) that has a strong concern for his appearance or a lifestyle and who displays feminine attributes stereotypically associated with homosexual men.

M2F or MTF: Male to female. Refers to the state of the biological sex before and after transitioning, or to the biological sex and the target sex in crossdreamer fantasies.

Non-op: transsexual who has not and will not have sex reassignment surgery. May also refer to transgendersists and autogynephiliacs. (See transsexual, sex reassignment surgery, transgendersits and autogynephiliacs).

Pansexual: sexual orientation characterized by the potential for aesthetic attraction, romantic love, or sexual desire towards people, regardless of their gender identity or biological sex.

Paraphilia: a biomedical term used to describe sexual arousal to objects, situations, or individuals that are not part of normative stimulation and that may cause distress or serious problems for the paraphiliac or persons associated with him or her. What is defined as "normative stimulation" may vary a lot with time and cultural background, something that

makes this a close to useless term in my book.

Passing: The ability to be accepted as a member of the sex you are transitioning into.

Perversion: (derogatory) types of human behavior that are perceived to be a serious deviation from what is considered to be orthodox or normal. Although it can refer to varying forms of deviation, it is most often used to describe sexual behaviors that are seen by the majority as abnormal or repulsive. Since this is a cultural relative term, I find it useless when discussing the true nature of crossdreaming/autogynephilia.

Post-op: transsexual who has had sex reassignment surgery (see transsexual and sex reassignment surgery)

Pre-op: transsexual who has not had sex reassignment surgey (see transsexual and sex reassignment surgery)

Post-structuralist (related to post-modernist):  Poststructuralism denies the possibility of a truly scientific study of "man" or of "human nature", as all belief systems are believed to be socially constructed through language and semiotics. This means that all meanings and intellectual categories are shifting and unstable. The term is relevant for crossdreamers as we from 2011 onwards have seen a few crossdreamers argue that crossdreaming is a social construct based on the psychological development of the individual crossdreamer. Personally I find poststructuralist methods very useful for analyzing the social context of crossdreaming, but since the philosophy has no tools for asserting the effect of biology on mental possesses, it cannot be used to study the interaction between body and mind.

Queer: (1, derogatory) Effeminate gay man. (2, controversial) Umbrella term for people who are gay, lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, transgender, transsexual, intersexual, genderqueer, or of any other non-heterosexual sexuality, sexual anatomy, or gender identity. See genderqueer.

Separatist Transsexual persons, mainly M2F transwomen, who argue they are not part of transgender culture. There are separate schools of separatism: (1) Classic transsexuals, who believe that there is a clear and distinct biological difference between being a woman who is born in a man's body and men who get aroused by imagining themselves as women (like crossdressers, autogynephiliacs, transgenderists and feminine gay men). (2) Harry Benjamin Syndrome supporters follow a philopsopy similar to classic transsexuals, but are more prone to gender stereotyping. (3) Transkids are transwomen who follow the theories of Ray Blanchard, considering themselves to be "homosexual transsexuals" and therefore -- apparently -- more feminine than autogynephiliacs. (4) Some crossdressers and transgenderists, argue -- based on the philosophy of crossdresser Virginia Price -- that they have nothing in common with transwomen and gay men. 1,2 and 3 believe the transgender movement is run by crossdressers and autogynephiliacs, while group 4 believes it is run by transwomen. All separatist groups fight each other and whatever remains of the transgender movement. It could have been funny in a Monty Python Life of Brian kind of way, hadn't it been for all the suffering this bickering is causing.

Sex: (1) In social sciences sex refers to the biological differences between men and women, as opposed to gender which refers to the cultural expressions of the roles given to biological males and females. (2) In biology, sex is a process of combining and mixing genetic traits, often resulting in the specialization of organisms into a male or female variety (known as the two sexes).

Sex dysphoria: see Gender dysphoria.

Sex identity (also sexual identity, although the term sexual identity more often refers to sexual orientation): The inner  feeling or conviction of being male or female. See also Gender identity disorder.

Sexual orientation: a pattern of emotional, romantic and/or sexual attractions to men, women, or both genders. Subcategories are : heterosexual, homosexual, and bisexual. Some argue that heterosexual and homosexual are exclusive categories, others that these orientations exist along a continuum that ranges from exclusive heterosexual to exclusive homosexual, including various forms of bisexuality in-between. Some people identify as asexual. To avoid confusion I will often use the words gynephile and androphile in this blog (see gynephile and androphile).

Sex reassignment surgery (also known as SRS, genital reconstruction surgery, sex affirmation surgery, sex-change operation): the surgical procedures by which a person's physical appearance and function of their existing sexual characteristics are altered to resemble that of the other sex. I have seen the term "gender reassignment surgery" used for M2F transsexual women, but I cannot see how you can do surgery on a gender identity that is already female.

Shape Shifter (also metamorph): Used by some people who choose not to identify as transsexuals, to express their belief they are not changing their gender, but changing their body to reflect their inner feelings and gender identity.

She-male (also shemale; derogatory term used in pornography): A genetic male who has physical characteristics of both male and female. This term should never be used for a real life transsexual or transgenderist (to whom it may refer). I will only use it to describe a transgenderists as a target in sexual fantasies. See transgenderist and transfan.

Sissy (or sissy boy, derogatory): A term codified by the mental health community for bioloigcally male children with gender identity disorder (in the sense of displaying feminine behavior).

SRS, see sex reassignment surgery.

Third gender or third sex (controversial terms): (1) individuals who are categorized (by their will or by social consensus) as neither male nor female, as well as the social category present in those societies who recognize three or more genders. It should be noted that such phenomena could just as well refer to roles understood as a mix of the male and female. (2) In zoology: Evolutionary biologist Joan Roughgarden argues that, in addition to male and female sexes (as defined by the production of small or large gametes), more than two genders or distinct morphs exist in hundreds of animal species.

TG: See transgender.

Trannie chaser or tranny chaser: (derogatory) see transfan.

Transfan (also transsensual, admirerer or derogatory: tranny chaser) man with a sexual preference for preoperative male-to-female transsexuals , transgenderists or even crossdressers (see transsexual and transgenderist). Many argue that transfans are closeted homosexuals. I suspect that many of them are crossdreamers.

Transgender (contoversial term, also TG and trans): (1, common use) Umbrella term applied to a variety of individuals, behaviors, and groups involving tendencies to diverge from the normative gender roles connected to their original biological sex, including transsexuals. (2, original use) People who want to live cross-gender without sex reassignment surgery, excluding transsexuals. (3, derogatory) Autogynephiliacs and crossdressers, as opposed to "classic transsexuals" or HBS transwomen. I use the word as (1).

Trangender Pride Flag (controversial): Flag designed by Monica Helms. First shown in 2000. The flag represents the transgender community and consists of five horizontal stripes, two light blue, two pink, with a white stripe in the center.

Transgenderist (controversial term): transgendered people who derive pleasure from and value their genitals as originally developed. Like transsexuals, many are interested in obtaining electrolysis, hormones and even cosmetic surgery to bring their outward presentation in line with their inner sense of self. However, transgenderists are not interested in sex reassignment surgery. Transsexual men and women who for health and other reasons do not obtain SRS are not included in this definition. Some deny that transgenderists exist, arguing that they are either misled classic transsexuals or autogynephiliacs. The term must not be confused with "transgender", which means something entirely different.

Transitioning: Wikipedia defines this as the process of changing genders - the idea of what it means to be female or male. I am using the term for the process of changing ones biological sex, arguing that an M2F transsexual woman is a woman/has the female gender both before and after the transition (see also sex reassignment surgery).

Transkid (controversial): Non-technical term for M2F androphilic transsexual, used mostly for political reasons to have a non-clincal way to refer to androphilic transsexuals as a population rather then a condition. See homosexual transsexual.

Transman, see transsexual man.

Transpeople (controversial): at this blog used for both transsexuals and crossdreamers/autogynephiliacs and crossdressers.

Transphilic (also trans-philic): see transfan.

Transphobia (also genderphobia): The fear of transsexuals or transgendered, often assumed to be homosexuals. Expressed as negative feelings, attitudes, actions or behaviors.

Transsensual: see transfan.

Transsexual (also spelled transexual, controversial term): (1) a condition in which an individual identifies with a physical sex that is different from his or her biological one. (2) A person who has undergone sex reassignment treatment and surgery (SRS). The main controversy regarding this term is based on the idea that some argue that there are two types of transsexual M2F women: (1) classic transsexuals or HBS women (see classic transsexual women and Harry Benjamin Syndrome) and (2) autogynephiliacs (see autogynephilia). Some use the term exclusively for classic transsexual women, some for both, and some for all who have had SRS. I use it for both classical pre-op and post-op transsexuals and for crossdreamers and autogynephiliacs who have changed sex.

Transsexual man: A person who has or has had a biologically female body, but who identifies as/is a woman. Also known as a F2M transsexual or transman. See transsexual and F2M.

Transsexual woman: A person who has or has had a biologically male body, but who identifies as/is a woman. Also known as a M2F transsexual or transwoman. See transsexual and M2F.

Transvestic fetishism (controversial term): having an erotic interest in crossdressing. See crossdressing and autogynephilia. I am not going to use this term.

Transvestism: see crossdresser

Transwoman, see transsexual woman.

TS: see transsexual.

TV: transvestite. See crossdressing.

Woodworking (or stealth woodworking): for a transsexual to live in a manner that conceals her or his past sex.

XD: see crossdreaming (also used as an abbreviation for crossdressing)

Alternative transgender and transsexual dictionaries:

Diane Wilson

Sexual Minority Youth Assistance League

All Mixed Up

Gender bending in online virtual worlds

The blogger and online gamer Dale Innis added some very interesting comments to my recent "Autogynephilia on a Napkin" post.

There are whole universes out there where men can become women by a touch of a button: In online gaming (massively multiplayer online games/MMOs like World of Warcraft) and virtual worlds like Second Life.

He says:

"One interesting thing about this is that even many men who identify as men in the real world, and have no history of any sort of gender unhappiness, still often play as women.

Whether this is because they're desires to be female are just very very mild (and were therefore not even noticed until they got to an environment where it was easy), or because they are moved by a different set of causes than people who are TG in whatever sense in real life, strikes me as a very interesting question."

Yes it is! Unless there is any practical reason for for a man to become a woman online (gaming advantages or the like), there must be something else that drives a man to select a female identity or avatar. Even if that "drive" turns out to be mere "curiosity", that curiosity is in and for itself interesting.

In World of Warcraft Dale has heard the "if I have to stare at someone's bottom 10 hours a day, I'd rather it be a hot chick" argument more than once. Sure! But you are looking at your own virtual female bottom.

This goes beyond games and virtual worlds. I have noticed that people joke about online gender bendings all the time: "The sexy 18 year old college girl you chatted with last night might be a 50 year old fat and bald man."

The jokes do not necessary prove that a lot of people switch genders online, but the fact that people are telling them proves that many are able to imagine the scenario. That tells me that genderbender fantasies are much more common than people tend to believe.

The problem is that so few are willing to admit that they would do such a thing, even to a researcher, which means that underreporting will be a huge problem.

Dale says:

"I know from personal experience that males playing as females in both Second Life and World of Warcraft is pretty common. Females playing as males (again just from personal experience) also happens in both, but seems more common in WoW than in SL, maybe (pure speculation) because WoW is the more traditional-male-flavored environment (battle, as opposed to shopping and decorating and socializing).

It would definitely be interesting to get some hard data! I don't think the stigma attached to virtual gender crossing is all that large (at least not among the people I hang out with?), but it's certainly non-zero, which would tend to corrupt the data."

In another comment Kaseido recommend using Second Life for trying out a female identity.

S/he says:

"There are a lot of us, and some fairly active groups - but the culture of 'don't ask, don't tell'about RL [Real Life] is pretty supportive of us, in most places.

For me, and a number of friends, and a lot of us in general, it's a chance to really live our female selves, and to explore what we're really attracted to in safety.

The SL [Second Life] Flickr groups can give a good sense of what it's like, and anyone from here who does come in, please feel free to drop me an IM - Kaseido Quandry in SL."

Tom Boellstorff writes about Second Life sex changes in Coming of age in second life: an anthropologist explores the virtually human.

He tells about one man who appears as a woman in Second Life that he did not want to show his female avatar to his wife. He told Boellstorff:

"I'm kind of worried she'll be jealous. My avatar is one part an expression of myself, one part expression of my desire. Half my idea of of myself, half my idea of the woman."

Sounds like an autogynephiliac to me!

Boellstorff also tells the story about the person who posed as a male crossdresser in Second Life, while being a woman in real life! It seems that when the hard material facts of real life disappears, wo/man's true nature appears.

Some more reading:

Gender and Emotions in Virtual Worlds
Flip the Switch – Gender Mechanics in Second Life
Gender Bending in Role-playing Games

The Autogynephilia Debate 2: On Mr. Autogynephiliac

This is the story about a video blog on autogynephilia and the reaction of transsexual activists. I also dare asking the question of whether AGP transsexuals can be called "real women".

(Continues from The Autogynephilia Debate Part 1.)

Mr. Autogynephiliac's controversial video blog

Over at YouTube, a 18 year old young man who calls himself Mr. Autogynephiliac, has established a video blog on autogynephilia. He is from the new generation of Internet savvy youngsters who use the social web to find themselves, helping others like him in the process. I admire his openness and his bravery -- you can feel his confusion and pain -- and the fact that he invite others to help him understand what he is going through.

Unfortunately, some TS activists cannot even stomach that someone uses the very word "autogynephiliac". Still, it is hard to attack an 18 year old male that admits to being transphobic while at the same time feels the urge to become a woman, and at first their protests didn't gain much traction.

If you watch his vlogs, it is pretty clear that his condition cannot be reduced to some innocent fetish -- a man that gets off by wearing women's clothes. It is clear that his whole identity as a man (or woman) is at stake, and that his gender dysphoria is as real as it is for any classic transsexual. So for a while he was able to publish his musings about his life and autogynephilia unmolested.

Samantha Zero as a role model

Mr. Autogynephiliac even managed to get an absolutely wonderful video comment from Samantha Zero, a M2F vlogger who has made a lot of insightful videos about transitioning. To me her video was a revelation, because here is a transwoman that openly admits that she had had autogynephile fantasies before transitioning (i.e. having sexual fantasies about becoming a woman) but who does not fit the stereotypes of autogynephiliac women presented by for instance Michael Bailey.

Samanta Zero is a young, intelligent and beautiful woman that could be a role model for may autogynephiliacs who wonder about transitioning. The problem is, of course, that she does not fit the traditional TS narrative. Nor does she identify as a transsexual. Given her intelligence, charisma and enthusiasm that seemed to make her video a threat.

Mr. Autogynephilia walks into a minefield

At this point Mr. Autogynephiliac made the mistake the activists needed. He prematurely made a video presenting his own theory of autogynephilia. I am probably partly to blame for this, as he had found many of the elements of his theory here on this blog.

When presenting the theories of Blanchard & Co, I have probably not been clear enough about what are their ideas as opposed to mine or alternative views on autogynephilia.

A transgender/transexual continuum?

The essence of his thinking deserves further discussion, however.

He tries to make sense of the two types of transpeople presented above, by arguing that they represent different mixes of gender orientation. Hence a "primary transsexual" could, according to him, be about 75 to 100 percent female, while the "secondary transsexual" (the autogynephiliac) is about 50 to 75 percent female. (Let's not get hung up in the numbers. They are nothing more than guesstimates on his part.)

He writes:

"Secondary transsexuals have a weaker feminine side. They would benefit from transition but would still remain very self conscious about their femininity. He may also chose to continue living as an Autogynephiliac with a 'transvestic fetich'.

Primary transsexuals according to this theory would benefit much more from transition. It would remove the dysphoria which they feel towards their masculine bodies and would go on to live as very comfortable and feminine women." (Quote from his YouTube video-presentation)

All right. He seems to argue that there is a continuum between autogynephiliacs and what I have called "classic transsexuals". That has not been proved in any way, but is a possibility. I, for one, is exploring that avenue, although I think that if there is such a continuum, we are talking about two clearly identifiable, but overlapping clusters of people.

Among scientist who have argued for a continuum between various forms of gender variations we find James Weinrich and Harry Benjamin.

Pure and unclean transsexuals

But there are some TS activists who cannot stand that idea. They are not even willing to discuss it. It seems to threatens the purity of their own femininity. They do not want any ambiguity as to what being a woman means, and most of all: they do not want to be associated with autogynephiliacs, mostly because they consider us perverts.

And Mr. Autogynephiliac used a type of language in his presentation that made it easy to shoot down. In general his use of terminology reflected the confusion he so courageously had presented in his other video blogs. But it is one thing to talk about your personal experience and beliefs, another thing to present something that looks like a scientific theory. The rules of the games change.

In one bullet point he said that "Gender dysphoria=Transgender=Transvestism", in spite of the fact that he elsewhere in the same presentation he makes it perfectly clear that he means that transgender issues encompasses much more than transvestism (i.e. crossdressing).

Next he used the words "male" and "homosexual transsexuals" when describing what he calls "primary transsexuals". Having discussed this with him, I know that he meant nothing more than that these persons were biologically male before transitioning, which is true, but when he uses these terms while referring to Blanchard most readers who have read Blanchard will believe that Mr. Autogynephiliacs share all of Blanchard's ideas.

Blanchard does not, as my regular readers will know, accept that classical transsexuals are women in any sense of the word. They are feminine homosexual men and nothing more. The gist of Mr. Autogynephiliac's presentation, however, leads to the conclusion that they are, in fact, women in a man's body, but his terminology seems to indicate that they are men.

In this respect the flame war that followed is understandable. Mr. Autogynephilia had presented his theory too early and had not worked hard enough on his typology. He even used the word "fetish" to describe autogynephilia, not understanding that this word makes it impossible to argue that autogynephilia is another type of gender dysphoria. No transsexual, classic or otherwise, would like to hear that they have transitioned because of a fetish only.

Samantha Zero removes her video

Samantha Zero was furious and took down her video, which is a terrible shame, because it could have made a huge difference, especially for young autogynephiliacs, but I am afraid there is no way she will put it up again.

In her response to Mr. Autogynephiliac she strongly recommended that he made "more statements that start with 'I think', "I feel', 'I believe, instead of 'you should', 'you are', or 'if you'" She made it totally clear that she is not a man, no matter what sort of label anyone would like to impose upon her. She was right on all points.

Promoting dialog as opposed to ideological warfare

Still, I cannot help thinking that it must be possible to treat an 18 year old man with the respect he deserves, and give him constructive advice instead of calling him and idiot that should shut up. (These are my words, but they do in fact sum up many of the comments from some of the activists pretty well, Samantha not included).

The reason I am worried is not that the activists criticize the video of Mr. A., but the way they are doing it. There is a pattern here, and here are some of the techniques they are using online,at his vlog and elsewhere:

Master suppression techniques

First, they label anyone who does not have a thorough knowledge of their own favorite literature as ignorants who do not have the right to offer an opinion on this topic. They argue that arguments must be based on science. Strangely enough, the only science who makes it into their libraries is the type that supports their own point of view.

Second, they argue that only transsexuals themselves have the right to make arguments about what it is like to be a transsexual. This would mean, that I, as a man, should have no opinion about women, or that a liberal should offer no view on what makes a conservative tick. Of course I can never fully understand how it is to be a M2F transsexual, but to the extent their lives are relevant to mine, I must at least try to empathize.

Third, they either deny that autogynephiliacs exist (i.e. that Mr. A. and me are misled or lying) or that we are nothing but fetishists. That is, they are not even willing to discuss the possibility of there being another type of transpeople than their own. Note the irony in all this: M2F transsexual women who deny others the right to define their lives, feel no qualms about defining the lives of autogynephiliacs.

Fourth, they seem to believe that any statement on transgender issues is to be interpreted as an article of faith, and not as an intervention in an ongoing debate. The truth is that we know remarkable little about sex and gender in general, not to speak about transgender issues, which means that we all should show a little humility when discussing such issues. This applies to Mr. A as well as his opponents.

In some cases they also threaten with what I will call "online violence". In my case it was destroying my blog.

In the debates I have seen all of Berit Ås' Master Suppression Techniques (Norwegian hersketeknikker, directly translated as "rule" or "domineer techniques") used against autogynephiliacs and also by transsexual women against other transwomen. This has to stop!

What can we do about it?

For those of us who do communicate online about autogynephilia the question is what we can do about this. I am not going to look over my shoulder every time I publish a post, being afraid of another hateful attack. I spent nine years in school being bullied for being a weirdo, and I am sick of it.

On the other hand I really believe that these people have life experiences and ideas I and other autogynephiliacs can learn from, which is why I think a complete breakdown in communications will not benefit anyone, not even them.

So what can we do?

First, I think we have to draw a line somewhere, and that line goes against what I have called online violence. We are not going to accept threats of reporting our sites to ISPs or the owners of our publishing platforms (Blogger, Wordpress, YouTube etc.) We will not be censored! If anyone of you are threatened this way, let me know. There are proper procedures for handling such complaints.

Second, I believe we should be pretty liberal about what we accept as comments at our own sites. Unless we are talking about pure hate-posts and abuse, I believe we should let anyone speak their mind. Anyway, their posts say as much about them as they say about autogynephiliacs.

Third, we should not accept as a rule that we cannot link to their sites. If they make a great point about a theme that is of relevance to us, we should be able to link to it in a blog post. I, for one, want to hear what they have to say. This is what web communication is about. If they asks us to be removed from resource pages, link collections and blogrolls, however, I believe we should respect that request.

Continues in Part 3.

The Autogynephilia Debate Part 1

Discussing transgender and transsexual issues is a risky sport.

I am worried. The debate on transgender and transsexual issues is poisonous, full of hateful accusations and counter-accusations made by people who all seem traumatized by social exclusion and a lack of acceptance.

This also affects the borderline between autogynephiliacs (AGPs) and "classic transsexuals" (CTs). Many classic transsexuals complain that AGPs have invaded their territory, turning their case into something it is not. They also argue that they have been attacked by AGPs, verbally and worse. That might actually be the case. I have also found sites with CTs attacking CTs in the most vicious way. We are all the worse for it.

Escalating warfare

Unfortunately this has lead to a kind of escalating warfare you find in the Balkans or the Middle East. Attacks leads to trauma and anger, anger leads to counter-attacks, counter-attacks lead to a segmentation of differences, this again leads to the development of silo mentalities and ideological fundamentalism, and fundamentalism requires complete adherence to the true faith, whatever that is.

This can happen very fast. Malaysia is a heterogeneous democracy dominated by Muslims. There has always been some conflict between the Muslim Malays, the Buddhist Chinese and the Hindu Indians, but mostly they manage to get along.

But it says a lot about the vulnerability of this balance that one single word can lead to violence. The Catholic Church in Malaysia started to use the word Allah for God. Now Muslims are attacking churches, offended by this "insensitive" use of the word. The fact is that Christians in Arab countries has used the word like this for centuries, and the Prophet himself argued that Christians, Jews and Muslims prayed to the same God. But now someone is using this case as a way of inflaming tensions and getting their message across.

This is a blog about autogynephilia. The main purpose is to help autogynephiliacs, but it should also be of interest to others who struggle with transgender and transsexual issues. Moreover, other types of gender identity issues are of relevance to autogynephiliacs. Sometimes I have to cover M2F transwomen.

Jack walks into a "mind-field"

Note the phrasing of the previous paragraphs: "transgender and transsexual issues". The draft of this blog post used the word "transgender issues". Having read quite a few books on the subject, and a lot of online material, I truly believed that the word "transgender" was understood an umbrella term for various types of gender dysphoria (see, for instance, the Wikipedia or the book The Transgender Phenomenon, which includes an historical review of the use of the term.). The fact is that it is used this way by a lot of specialists, transsexuals and activists. There is even a scholarly International Journal of Transgenderism

I therefore used the term in a headline categorizing miscellaneous links on my new resource page, adding blogs and sites that contained information and view points I believed was relevant to the transgender/transsexual debate.

Boom! The whole thing blew up in my face. How could I be so insensitive! How could I possibly link to sites that had nothing to do with autogynephilia and transgender issues? This was an insult!

Some wanted to contact my ISP/Blogger to get them take down the whole blog. In a few days my interpretation of a term had turned into ugly online violence.

Transgender=autogynephilia

I must admit I was more than a little confused at first. I have always argued that there is a difference between autogynephiliacs and classical transsexuals. Unlike Blanchard and his followers I truly believe classic transsexuals are what they say they are: complete women and not gay men, mentally ill, freaks or whatever derogatory term you might come up with.

I have said as much. I added the links out of interest and respect, but that single word -- "transgendered" -- made these blog owners conclude that I accused them of being perverts.

Why? Well, probably because the term was originally coined by Virginia Charles Prince, a famous (notorious?) crossdresser. She did not use it as an umbrella term. It could also be that it is used by "social constructivists" that argue that gender is a social construct, without any biological basis. The fact that I put links to their blogs under a headline that indicated any sort of association with autogynephilia was enough.

I am must admit that I am more than a little annoyed that my blog and my condition is so toxic that a mere link from my site is considered an affront. I had some sleepless nights. Still, I can live with that. I am a grown man. I have been through worse. The main problem is that these kind of reactions threaten the ability of me and others to have an open discussion on transgender and transsexual issues.

Numerous tribes

Most autogynephiliacs do not know the ins and outs of transsexual politics, the nuances of every term, what's considered offensive in groups we are not a member of (and who wouldn't have us as a member in the first place).

Still, we need to be able to talk, to discuss, even if we should be mistaken and even prejudiced. It is through an open and patient discourse that we grow and gain a better understanding of ourselves and others, and it is through discussions like that we manage to correct stereotypes and unnecessary conflicts.

I am a seasoned researcher. Academics can be beasts, as well. I am used to it. But there are a lot of autogynephiliacs out there that do not have my experience. They are young, depressed, and vulnerable. They are trying to get out of their shells, but they are scared, and one hateful attack can be enough. They run back into their caves, never to come out again. We can't have that.

But there is also another possibly outcome. It may be worse. I must admit that I was seriously hurt and pissed off when my blog was attacked. My instincts told me to lash out, attack, kill! These people threatened to take down my blog and destroy all the work I had put into it. They insulted me, calling me a pervert. Why shouldn't I hate them the way they hated me?

I could have done that. But the fact is that it would have made this much, much worse. Besides, even if their behavior is problematic -- to say the least -- the reason for their aggression is that they are probably even more traumatized than I am. And I believe them when they say that they live under siege, possibly even from autogynephiliacs.

Seeking out conflict

OK, I stepped into their back yard by linking to them. They didn't seek me out. If I had let them in peace, they would not have bothered. I have learned my lesson. I will be very careful linking to such sites in the future, believe me! (Which is bad, because they deserve to be heard.)

There are, however, some transsexual activists who look for a fight, searching the Web for any mention of autogynephilia. They see it as their task to seek out heretics and get them to shut up.

In my next post I will present one such case: the Mr. Autogynephilia controversy.

I have underlined the word "some", as most transsexuals seem to handle the existence of autogynephiliacs pretty well. Actually, most of them focus on living their lives as normal women, and do not get involved in transsexual politics at all.

Furthermore, I have had several very helpful emails and comments on this blog from "classic transsexuals" and I definitely welcome more.

Postscript: What type of transsexual?

Note that I used the term "classic transsexuals" above. I did so over at YouTube and got the following reply:

"Your use of the terms 'classical transsexual' is outdated and used an archaic structure that has been abandoned since the 1980s."

Which proves that I am a charlatan that knows nothing about these issues and that I better shut up.

So, in order to clarify: I use the word "classic transsexual" to denote a subset of transpeople who feel that they are trapped in the body of the wrong sex. For instance: their biological sex is male; their gender identity is female.

There are other terms. Some call them "primary transsexuals", others "secondary transsexuals", but this is so confusing that it is of no help to me. Nor do I believe that some transsexuals are more "primary" than others. This is also why I find terms like "nuclear transsexual" or "true transsexual" unsatisfying.

The term "androphilic transsexual" has also been used, but I am not sure that there is a one to one relationship between sexual orientation and transgender subtype. In other words: I do not think that all gynephilic transwomen (M2F transsexuals who are attracted to women) are autogynephiliacs.

Blanchard and Bailey call them "homosexual transsexual men", but that makes no sense in my opinion. In my book they are women, not men. If they are androphilic (attracted to males), that means that they are heterosexual, not homosexual.

I could, of course, drop the word "classic" and talk about transsexual women or transwomen only. The fact is, however, that many of the post-op transsexual women living in the world today started out as autogynephiliacs. This means that the word "transsexual"often is used to describe all of those that have undergone sex reassignment surgery, regardless of the reason they had for doing so. I am not going to be the one that tells those women that they are not real women.

So until someone gives me a better term, I will continue to talk about classic and classical transsexuals, and hope that it is understood that it is used out of respect and not in a derogatory way.

Continues in part 2.