August 16, 2015

Resources for Partners of Transgender People

Crossdreamer and transgender resource directory

When I found out my husband is a woman inside, I started googling. I wanted to find information for people who have a transgender spouse, forums with support for partners of transgender people and stories of couples that had found a way to make it work. Here is what I have found.
When the one you love is trans. Image by Kannaa.

By Sally Molay

  • She Was the Man of My Dreams (About the male-to-female transgender experience from a spouse’s perspective.)
  • enGender/My Husband Betty (Helen Boyd's journal of gender & trans issues.) 
  • Accidentally Gay (By a man in a same sex marriage after his wife transitioned to man.)

  • Straight Spouse Network (an international organization that provides personal, confidential support and information to heterosexual spouses/partners, current or former, of gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender mates and mixed-orientation or transgender/non-transgender couples for constructively resolving coming-out problems.)
  • PFLAG (Parents, friends, families and allies of LGBT people.)
Other Resources
Blogs that are not updated but still useful
  • The Sky is Green and the Grass is Blue
    (Significant-Other to Male-to-Female Transsexual Shares Her Story--A Journey to Understanding)
  • TransMarried (Blog: “We married in 1966; in 1984, he told me he needed to be a woman. I choose to stay in the marriage.”)
  • A trans man’s partner (Blog about a healthy, loving, supportive relationship since Spring 2011 with a sexy, funny, sweet, intelligent, well-dressed, eloquent, amazing man who happens to be transsexual.)
  • Gardens in Bloom (Annie and James Rushden were man and wife, until James revealed he was transsexual. Annie writes about the experience of falling in love all over again with her partner Claire.)
  • Getting To Me (blog bythe wife of a bisexual crossdresser)
Thanks to king-cobra90 and journeyintomanhood at Tumblr for some of the links.

If you know any other sites, books, blogs or articles for family members of transgender people that should be included, please write a comment below.

Crossdreamer and transgender resource directory
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  1. Hello, I found a TV show on Youtube called 'Gender Vision'.

    All the best

  2. Thank you for letting me know!
    Turns out, Gender Vision is an orgagization and the video you mention is also on their website, I have added a link to the post.

  3. Thank you for sharing this!

    /r/mypartneristrans on reddit has been really useful for me. Reddit skews a little young, but people are very responsive and positive. The vibe is good overall. The other trans subreddits are also welcoming to family and significant others of trans folks, so it's a good educational/acceptance tool.

  4. I just found your website! My husband of 25 years transitioned to a female 3 years ago, and we are still together. I have a blog I would love for any of you to stop by! Thank you for providing this list of resources!

    1. Im sure you probably wont get this considering that you wrote this comment 2 years ago but i would really like it if we could chat... See my wife came out to me as trans about 5 months ago and im really struggling with it... Could use some insight on someone that has been through this...

  5. Hi I'm a wife a transwoman and I have a page on Facebook called soffa trans a support site for significant others friends family and allies were people can talk in confidence with no aggressive comments

  6. My spouse has written a blog for many years, Yes, She is My Husband (

  7. Thank you, sbrandi74, Mary, Fiona and Bridge! I have added the links to the resources above :)

  8. Hello Sally, and thank you for this resource. I am a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Irvine, CA, and am forming a group for spouses and partners of transgender people. Do you have any suggestions of where I can post a flyer online that may reach people who may benefit? Thank you!

  9. Dear Marnee Riley,

    Is Your Group online or will you meet face to face? If it is online, you could post in any of the forums listed above. If you meet face to face you should contact local LGBT organizations and ask them to spread the word.

    Who is your target group -- the significant other of any trans person (like crossdreamers or crossdressers who concider themselves trans) or specifically the ones who have transitioned or are in the process? I would love to hear more.

  10. Another thing, Marnee:

    If your group is online, Jack and I can use our online channels to spread the word.

  11. Hello. I am in a strange situation, as I am unsure if I want to transition WTM. I am in a relationship with a person who is deciding to transition MTW. We need safe people to talk to and get advise.

  12. Hey Nita!

    Please send me an email at

  13. lvrnf..... You deleted your comment, I believe. Contact Sally at


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