January 13, 2014

New web site on girlfags and guydykes (+ the story about the blind men and the elephant)

Activists trying to describe the transgender continuum.

Ili has put up a new web site for and about girlfags and guydykes.

The site is bilingual: In German and English. It is currently under construction, so watch out for scaffolding and fresh paint!

The goal is to gather new and previously published material that may throw light upon the lives and feelings of girlfags and guydykes (gfgd).

gfgd and crossdreamers

The girlfag/guydyke concept overlaps with the crossdreamer term, in the sense that some (but not all ) girlfags and guydykes are crossdreamers. That is: They fantasize about being the other sex (relative to their birth sex) in a sexual or romantic relationship.

Female bodied girlfags may write and read stories about gay male relationship, identifying with one of the male partners while doing so. Male bodied guydykes will often dream about being a woman in a lesbian relationship.

Note, however, that at the core of the gfgd concept you find a strong affinity with gay or lesbian culture. This is not always the case for crossdreamers.

Moreover, I do not think I am far off the mark if I say that the gfgd term is also defined by the person's sexual orientation. A girlfag is mainly attracted to men. A guydyke is mainly attracted to women. You will, for instance,  find that many girlfags have a lot in common with lesbian butch women, the main difference being their sexual orientation.

The more I learn about crossdreaming, the clearer it becomes that crossdreaming is not restricted to "heterosexual" men and women who are mainly attracted to people of the opposite sex (relative to their birth sex). Both gay men and lesbian women may engage in crossdreaming.

The gfgd concept and the crossdreamer term also overlap in the sense that some girlfags and gudykes are gender dysphoric  (they suffer severely from a misalignment between an inner sex and their body). The same applies to some (but not all) crossdreamers.

It is all the overlaps that have made me interested and engaged in the girlfag and guydyke cause.

The blind men and the elephant

I think it is important to keep in mind that both the girlfag/guydyke concept and the crossdreamer concept are attempts at describing overlapping realities. We are looking at related phenomena from different angles.

There is no clearly defined group of people out there that can be called "crossdreamers" and who are completely distinct from all other people. This term, as well as the gfgd concept, are man made words we make use of in our attempts to understand ourselves and others.

The Indian story of the elephant and the blind men comes to mind.

One version of the story says that six blind men were asked to determine what an elephant looked like by feeling different parts of the elephant's body. The blind man who feels a leg says the elephant is like a pillar; the one who feels the tail says the elephant is like a rope; the one who feels the trunk says the elephant is like a tree branch; the one who feels the ear says the elephant is like a hand fan; the one who feels the belly says the elephant is like a wall; and the one who feels the tusk says the elephant is like a solid pipe.

They were all right in a way, but none of them were able to comprehend the totality of the elephant.

I have met quite a few transgender people,  crossdreamers and girlfags included, that become frustrated by all the terms that pop up in the sex and gender debate. They want something measurable, definitive and clear cut. They want something "scientific". What they really want is to cut of the elephant's leg and present it as a completely separate phenomenon:

"See! This is what I am!  I am a crossdresser. I can be defined as 'something pillar like'. I have nothing in common with the 'rope people' over there!"

This need becomes especially urgent if they associate the "rope people" with something negative: "At least I am not homosexual!" As if being homosexual would be in any way more difficult than being a heterosexual crossdresser.

It is all such a waste of time and opportunities for learning.


Discuss crossdreamer and transgender issues!