About Crossdreamers.com

Crossdreamers.com is a blog focusing on crossdreamer, crossdresser, queer and transgender issues. And yes, I am using the word transgender in its broad umbrella sense here, in the meaning of gender variant.
Photo: Tom Maday

What makes this one a bit different from other blogs of this kind is that it contains a lot of information on the sexuality of genderqueer, nonbinary and transgender people -- their dreams and desires.

Some trans people get turned on by the idea of having sex as their target gender. I call this crossdreaming. Trans activist and philiosopher Julia Serano refers to female/feminine or male/masculine embodiment fantasies, while other refers to this as cross-gender arousal.

The blog started out as a correction to the so-called autogynephilia theory, which reduces people who have such fantasies to "paraphiliacs". If want to know why that transphobic theory fails to explain what crossdreaming is about, you have come to the right place.

Please note that for many the term crossdreamer has come to mean the idea of being or becoming their target sex in general, i.e. beyond sexuality. That makes perfect sense to me. Indeed, the blog  also contains a lot of information on transgender, LGBT and gender issues of other types.

I am a male to female transgender activist living in Scandinavia. I have not transitioned, but support all trans people who have done so. Jack Molay is my pen name.

If you want to contact me directly, send an email to jack.molay@gmail.com.

Jack Molay

More about Crossdreaming

Many crossdreamers identify with their assigned gender, others think of themselves as genderqueer or nonbinary, while others again are clearly transsexual. Some experience crossdreaming as a gender mismatch and suffer from gender dysphoria. Others do not.

Some move from one side of the continuum to another throughout their lives.  For some this is experienced as nothing but a sexual kink. To others crossdreaming is just one of many ways of expressing and exploring a cross-gender identity.

Crossdreamers and transgender people are, like most people, sexual beings. It should come as no surprise that they dream about having sex as their target gender. Unfortunately we live in cultures where there is a lot of shame attached to sex outside the vanilla norm. This especially applies to male assigned people who dream about being women.

This is why it is so important that we talk about this issue.

More about crossdreaming

Sister sites

Crossdreamers.com has a few sister-sites that might be of interest to you:


  1. Help, I keep getting error messages today, 11/29/16, when trying to
    access the Crossdreamers Forum section.

  2. Yes, Lefora is fixing the log in data base and moving servers at the same time. They promise me a much faster service after they have finished.

    I see that it is normally available during US daytime hours.

    You can READ the forum if you open it in a private/incognito window while not signing in, but you cannot make any comments while doing so.

  3. Hi Jack,

    My name is Anuj Agarwal. I'm Founder of Feedspot.

    I would like to personally congratulate you as your blog Crossdreamers has been selected by our panelist as one of the Top 75 Crossdressing Blogs on the web.


    I personally give you a high-five and want to thank you for your contribution to this world. This is the most comprehensive list of Top 75 Crossdressing Blogs on the internet and I’m honored to have you as part of this!

    Also, you have the honor of displaying the badge on your blog.


  4. Thank you, Anuj! I am glad you like the site!

  5. I prefer and think of it to be more accurate to use the term "integrated self" rather then binary"

  6. Hi Jack, I just joined. I saw a thread yesterday which was asking "Why did you join" on the Forum, I can't find it today.
    Mostly being insecure, and sometimes direct, the last thing I would want is to be perceived as a Troll. I got to your website yesterday while looking for Carl Jung's perspective on transgenderism, (or transvestism (which I though would be the expression they used at the time). I was surprised psychology had already nuanced between Transvestism and Transsexualism.
    Anyway, the link directed me to your 10 part dissertation series on Jung from 2012, the last part, I read it. Then I read the first one last night.
    I was extremely surprised you would dare put a representation of a hermaphrodite as from my perspective, when I look at un-transitioned trans-women it's what I see, and not in a pejorative way.
    It's a very pleasant experience.
    I fall in the category of Gynandromorphophilic individuals. It's a contested sexual orientation scientifically, but I live it exactly as observed in the text social science experience less the autogynephilia, that is Hsiu (2017) "Who are Gynandromorphphilic Men?". I know Hsiu is another character which evokes relatively unpopular reactions among the trans community, that is why I always feel I am walking on egg shells when I try to make steps towards anyone who is a transwoman.
    I thought the best way to see if am going to be an inconvenience was to point you to a text I just read this afternoon. I thought it was very insightful as I am trying to understand my own sexual orientation, as it is exclusive, I am a very narrow focused individual (no Pan- anything in my world, no multi tasking either) which is still mysterious to me even if I enjoy it very much, I am completely at ease with it. I've found the observation of Transfeminine beauties to be a healing process, again a Jung put's it, this reconciliation between our inner feminine and masculine.
    Last night I also read your text from last year on Darkins (August 1st 2023), and I share your point of view.
    Yet, It would be dishonest on my part to make believe some of my points of view couldn't be disagreeable to you, or your audience, to the point of creating discord.
    As you mention Judith Butler a few times in the text, the text I am sending also does. I never heard of Judith... but the author cited her with much authority.
    In the text you will discover that notions of sex independent of gender in Judaism philosophy have been present for a long time. The text in question analyses the theme of homosexuality from the perspective of Lurianic Jews settled in the Ottoman Empire, a Kabbalistc denomination of Judaism created in the 15th Century. The text is the third chapter of a Book from the same author. The concepts of Gender is somewhat close to what one may grasp from Jung, its surprising.
    Reading the text may help you suggest if I should just leave it to this, or be present on the blog.
    I am also slipping a reference to Jung, Pauli and the concept of Synchronicity as experienced through Quantum theory...
    "Constructing Women from Men:
    The Metaphysics of Male Homosexuality Among
    Lurianic Kabbalists in Sixteenth-Century Safed"
    Shaul Magid (available on books.google.com)
    "Carl G. Jung’s Synchronicity and Quantum
    Entanglement: Schrödinger’s Cat ‘Wanders’
    Between Chromosomes" (Open Access)
    Igor V. Limar
    Thank you for your Commitment Jack


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