January 27, 2011

Planning a crossdreamer forum and chat site

Several of you have asked whether it would be possible to establish an online discussion forum for crossdreamers, a place where we can share life stories and experiences and find friends.

Others have asked for chat rooms for more direct conversations, unhampered by the time lag of blogs like this one.

Finally there are those that are looking for a crossdreamer dating site, where -- for instance -- male bodied transgender persons could meet female to male crossdreamers for friendship and love.

Yes, this would have to a site for both male to female and female to male crossdreamers.

An American friend of mine, Jason Ikeda, has the skills needed to set up a forum and has volunteered to design the site.

We have come to the conclusion that it is best to start out slow, and establish the forum and the chat functions first. If the site is successful, we could add a matchmaker section later on.

There are other forums out there that are oriented towards crossdreamers and crossdressers. Some of them are for the exchange of erotic stories. Others focus more on the practical needs of crossdressers. The point is not to compete with these or more general transgender sites, but to establish an arena where crossdreamers can talk about the ups and downs of their lives.

Finding someone that understands you can be of great help, even if there is no immediate solution to the problems you are facing. Sometimes just hearing about how others have faced the same problem can provide the input you need to go on with your life. And yes, there should also be room for discussion on research, spiritual matters, love, marriage and so on.

We will need help. First of all I would like to ask crossdreaming readers about what kind of boards you would like to see in this forum. Please add comments to this post!

Next we would need help in establishing and running the site. I am particularly concerned about the need for moderators. We need people who can follow the discussion, delete spam, control trolls and add a comforting word or two to crossdreamers in need.

We have access to a server and have no immediate need for funding.

If you are willing to become a moderator or have other skills or types of input that could be of use, please do not hesitate to email me (jack.molay@gmail.com) and Jason (jason.ikeda@gmail.com).

Tell us how you think this site should be! Add a comment!


  1. I think this is a great idea, and I'm looking forward to seeing it happen!

  2. I would have originally said "forum/chatroom has been done to death", but not specifically on autogynaphelia.

    Chat: I sometimes hop onto the one on urnotalone.com, but the topic usually veers away from the subject most times I'm in it.

    Forum: Typically I lurk on crossdressers.com, sometimes make a post (I've been chastised a few times for getting too sexual), to which I respond "Umm, the topic is sexual, and if kids are on here they shouldn't be".

    Anyway, with that said, I think this would help a lot of us out talking about this and how we feel, issues we deal with, etc.

    Dating would be nice, but the question is how much traffic would we get? even at 200 users, what are the odds someone lives near me?

    As for topics, I say:
    1. fantasies
    2. experiences / stories

  3. And yes, I'd love to be a moderator on said forum

  4. I would say stay with your niche, of autogynophelia. Sure you can have a branch of life stories here, fantasies there, I also know helpful tips are good too. Many of this can also be found else where.
    I personally come to your blog for the factual and opinions you provide on autogynophelia, if I want other I go elsewhere, no offense. Do what you do best, and let others do the rest. As your traffic increases then branch out here or there. I would use your blog as a portal per se and see what you get.

  5. i think that would be great idea. i would luv to find out more about autogynophelia and where I fit in to all these definitions. Sometimes its easier not to question but sometimes you might get some new answers

  6. A forum dedicated to AGP / Crossdreaming would be a great idea. Look forward to it.

  7. A forum would be great! Not really interested in the chat room myself because if I want to chat directly to someone I could just use any one of numerous existing options (instant messaging, etc) to do so.

  8. I think that for such a site there should be a place for fantasies,a place to research the topic, maybe a history of crossdreaming. Maybe a place for people to give advice on how to live with crossdreaming and the things that come with it.

  9. What about people who think that your "autogynephilia" is crazy nonsense? Are you going to include them? Their side should be heard, because you are leading lots of people down the wrong path. You should also be honest about who you are and your real agenda!

  10. @Anonymous - Forgive me if I'm wrong, but it seems to me that most of the deniers out there are those who do not identify with this condition and/or feel threatened by it. That you may not agree with the entirety of what is theorized by the person who originally coined the term "autogynephilia" does not mean that it does not exist. Unless you feel and experience this, how can you say it doesn't exist?

  11. Anonymous: "What about people who think that your "autogynephilia" is crazy nonsense? Are you going to include them? Their side should be heard, because you are leading lots of people down the wrong path."

    The answer is yes. In fact: The reason I coined the term "crossdreamer" is that I do not believe in the autogynephilia theory myself.

    If you read this blog more carefully you will see that I am very critical towards Blanchard and his followers. Some of my readers are actually a bit annoyed at me because of this :-)

    But even if Blanchard's explanation for the term is unfounded, people with cross-sexual erotic fantasies do exists, and the idea is to establish a forum for them.

  12. Jack--I'm starting to think Blanchard is a lot like Christopher Colombus: went looking for one thing, stumbled onto something entirely different, declared he'd found the thing he was looking for, and proceeded to act like a dick about it.

  13. Love it!

    So we are the Indians are we? Or the Native Americans? Damned, I am confused :-)

  14. I spent many time on normal dating sites in the last 6 months and so far I have talked to 2 women (sexy and feminine) who told me that their fantasy was to use a dildo on a man more than beeing fucked by the man. The first was is borderine though.

    So we are NOT alone.

    I hope to find a girl who will understand my sexual needs and if not participate and be my man in bed, at least let me do what I want with men once in a while.

  15. I would love to have a place where I could exchange messages (or chat) with others who are using Second Life to live out their dreams of being female. I imagine the topics would include practical tips as well as personal stories. If anyone wants to discuss this I can be reached at april.flowers.iris@gmail.com

  16. Hey Jack. I didn't comment on this earlier, but I wish I would have. I would like to add +1 in support of opening a forum and chat capability.

    I'm not particularly interested in moding, but will do so if there is a need.

    Are there any updates with this? Its been a while since this was posted.



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